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In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come. Rebekah Send a noteboard - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM
Although randoms don't usually turn up. So if you belong to a church then it's nice to have the congregation involved even if you don't want them at the reception. Which might sound horrible but really isn't. :P

People who don't belong to a congregation, but use a church for their service can also have members of that congregation showing up. I've been to a few where this has happened and they don't usually stay for refreshments afterwards. They just like to be involved in the full activity of the church.

Another thing: are their invitations different- is there any indication that they're not going to be invited to a dinner? For one thing, they should be told so that they eat beforehand and for another thing, wouldn't it affect their expected gift obligation?

You'd usually say something like:

"So & So invite you to celebrate their wedding on X date. Ceremony at X church (etc), with refreshments afterwards, then a dance at X place at X time."

If you're invited to the entire day then your invitation would show the extra bits.

Gifts are always at the giver's discretion so there's no kind of obligation to it.

But if it's normal in NZ I amagine people are used to it and act accordingly, I'm just kind of curious how it all works out.

I think that it's more of a British culture thing. Dutch as well. Hospitality doesn't play as big a role in most (white) British cultural groups (except in very small and remote communities) so there's less expectation that you'd invite all and sundry to everything. NZ is basically Britain 50 years ago so it applies even more there.
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So it turns out that weddings are expensive... Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:24:17 PM 1757 Views
I am looking to drop about a grand on my son's rehearsal dinner *NM* random thoughts - 12/12/2011 04:42:53 PM 453 Views
Well, part of it is that the rehearsal dinner isn't on the $5k budget. Dannymac - 12/12/2011 04:46:30 PM 754 Views
It is avoidable, but people will treat you like you're a nutcase if you don't do most of the things nossy - 12/12/2011 05:02:14 PM 795 Views
my first wedding was in church with a pretty dress and a preacher random thoughts - 12/12/2011 06:12:02 PM 740 Views
We had a pretty dress and a notary public in the courtyard of the B&B. nossy - 12/12/2011 09:36:52 PM 781 Views
If I had it to all over again I would have formed a Rock Band and dated supermodels *NM* random thoughts - 13/12/2011 04:20:28 PM 421 Views
*NM* TaskmasterJack - 22/12/2011 10:15:04 PM 422 Views
Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 05:29:19 PM 854 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:02:44 PM 763 Views
Re: Heh. Nate - 12/12/2011 06:44:30 PM 920 Views
Re: Heh. Macharius - 12/12/2011 07:27:16 PM 858 Views
We kept it to about $5000 also (including cost of rings). Macharius - 12/12/2011 06:06:54 PM 819 Views
I would say our wedding was about that. Lici - 12/12/2011 06:45:46 PM 981 Views
I feel like they only have to be expensive if you let them be. LadyLorraine - 12/12/2011 07:07:59 PM 847 Views
I got married two weeks ago for less than that. Aemon - 12/12/2011 09:56:43 PM 906 Views
Congrats Sareitha Sedai - 12/12/2011 10:03:35 PM 749 Views
Thanks! Aemon - 13/12/2011 02:53:11 PM 754 Views
You've been holding out on us. Congratulations. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 13/12/2011 12:02:39 AM 472 Views
Honestly, I didn't think anyone would care. Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:08:44 PM 730 Views
Hey! No announcement??? Congratulations and may you find many years of happiness! *NM* everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:27:51 AM 497 Views
No, no announcement. I'm not really the center-of-attention type. haha Thanks though! *NM* Aemon - 13/12/2011 03:10:29 PM 425 Views
Congratulations, my friend. Jacob - 13/12/2011 03:21:22 PM 686 Views
Thanks. Aemon - 13/12/2011 06:38:59 PM 801 Views
Acceptable... Jacob - 13/12/2011 06:40:29 PM 743 Views
OMG! Congratulations! Danu - 14/12/2011 10:43:05 PM 735 Views
Thanks Danu. *NM* Aemon - 15/12/2011 11:08:51 PM 427 Views
i had 500 people at my wedding....... Aisha - 13/12/2011 12:05:38 AM 914 Views
Everybody I have ever talked to that had a big, expensive wedding has told me that in hindsight... everynametaken - 13/12/2011 03:29:34 AM 703 Views
Yes they are. We're planning ours and... callandor1000 - 13/12/2011 02:19:42 AM 794 Views
Some people just don't seem to think outside of the box ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:15:49 AM 879 Views
And several items on that chart are soo unnecessary *NM* ironclad - 13/12/2011 09:41:10 AM 448 Views
They're only as expensive as you make them. Tim - 14/12/2011 10:38:37 AM 718 Views
I'm so glad we went simple. Kaldric - 14/12/2011 03:08:45 PM 871 Views
As someone who had a smaller wedding than was expected by certain people... Danu - 14/12/2011 10:36:57 PM 832 Views
These seem kind of extreme. Vivien - 15/12/2011 06:03:15 AM 862 Views
because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 12:59:39 PM 892 Views
Not my personal history, but culture. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:53:12 PM 852 Views
I agree that there are better cuts to make than refreshments LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:35:13 PM 846 Views
Re: because of your history you might find a cash bar lame... callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:08:00 PM 862 Views
Yeah, and that's why Russians are all dying of alcoholism. *NM* Macharius - 15/12/2011 01:46:52 PM 460 Views
You don't have to be an alcoholic to prefer not to have a cash bar at a party. Vivien - 15/12/2011 03:37:15 PM 756 Views
It is lame to expect the father of the bride to shell out tens of thousands for a party random thoughts - 15/12/2011 02:00:54 PM 851 Views
seriously. who cares if people think you're "cheap". LadyLorraine - 15/12/2011 04:41:33 PM 764 Views
What my family tends to do (because it's huge) is this: Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:16:31 PM 898 Views
That's what most German weddings do too. Reasonable. *NM* ironclad - 15/12/2011 03:38:40 PM 420 Views
If they're not close enough to invite to the reception, are they really needed at the ceremony? Vivien - 15/12/2011 08:18:18 PM 863 Views
In most cases, a church ceremony tends to be an open thing. Anyone can come. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 10:11:30 PM 883 Views
Apparently it's becoming more common over here to do weddings on a weekday. Rebekah - 15/12/2011 02:13:57 PM 757 Views
I can't imagine someone in America announcing their wedding was on a weekday. TaskmasterJack - 15/12/2011 10:07:55 PM 985 Views
People not in America have way more vacation days... *NM* Vivien - 15/12/2011 11:56:22 PM 418 Views
That was part of the logic in my thinking, yes. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 12:46:53 AM 402 Views
Fridays are actually becoming more common. Sareitha Sedai - 16/12/2011 04:51:41 PM 696 Views
Why does the band get more than the photographer? Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 04:30:29 PM 660 Views
well they do have to split it 4 or 5 ways random thoughts - 16/12/2011 04:38:36 PM 755 Views
The thing is... it's NOT a night's work. Amyrlin - 16/12/2011 09:27:30 PM 1048 Views
Because if you put tiny plastic musical instruments on all the tables, your ears will bleed out. TaskmasterJack - 16/12/2011 10:04:59 PM 1104 Views
My advice based on what I've done so far. callandor1000 - 22/12/2011 01:27:29 PM 718 Views
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