I'm almost afraid to ask "how so"? I would say they are nothing alike. Egwene is a manipulator and a hands-off, staff-officer type. Aviendha doesn't seem to really be much of a leader, working better as a solo operative or advisor, while Egwene has shown no aptitude for either role. I don't think anyone would argue Egwene's cosmopolitianism vs Aviendha's ethnocentrist-bordering-on-xenophobic outlook. I think Egwene & Aviendha get along so well because they are so different that they don't have anything to clash over.

Name two women like that. Most of them are active schemers or Daes Daemar players. They expect to be socially dominant and a certain amount of deference to their faces, but none of them, aside from background characters with one dimension in Shienar have the attitude you project.

The idea that she couldn't "rouse" romantic feelings, IMO, makes it better, because she's forced to be forthright and genuine. As the letters issue demonstrates, the are enough opportunities for miscommunication when both sides think they are being honest and open, let alone when one is actively trying to manipulate the other. Her problems with Rand there, I find to be Egwene-driven. She assumes she knows more about him than she does, thanks to Egwene's assertions and coaching based on memories of a boy Egwene herself is constantly realizing has become very different. Elayne actually seems to do better when she strikes out on her own with Rand (all of the twice it has actually happened) rather than listen to Egwene or follow Nynaeve's example. She tells Rand what she wants, and for the most part, gets it. She asks for various "bases" and gets them. She tells him "no commitment," and he sleeps with two of her friends. She tells him she's going and he's happy for her. Her problems arise when she tries to tell him one thing but she wants something else. A lesson that, had Aviendha and Min known it, would have saved us ALL superfluous romantic twaddle in every book in between Rand & Elayne getting from first base to home plate, as it were.

They were both raised to restrain themselves for different reasons. Rand, due to a chauvanist mindset from his upbringing (raised by a warrior father in a society that maintains its warrior-culture ethos, with few familiar females to tarnish the ideal and get him used to dealing with women), and Elayne being something of a stickler for propriety and raised by a variety of women whose attitude towards such relationships would have been very dismissive if they even bothered with the topic. Morgase appears to have trained Elayne to avoid all her own glaring character flaws (tempermental, emotional decision-making process, etc), she recalls that Lini would not discuss sexual aspects of relationships until she was well into adulthood, and Elaida, a Red sister in a Tower that finds personal relationships with men to be a suspicious dsitraction at best. It's not so much that she's passive as she has been indoctrinated to prioritize and discipline herself to think of personal wishes last. As she notes to Nynaeve in tSR when first seriously contemplating a relationship with Rand. He has much of the same qualities, believing in doing his duty before giving in to personal wishes.

I'm sorry, but WHAT?! Rand did not seek out Aviendha, she more or less grew on him. He himself said that he became accustomed to their interactions, regardless of the nature of them. He was so starved for normal human contact (which Egwene is shrewd enough to note in tFoH, though she also appears to be aware that she cannot mimic such a thing well enough to simulate it), that he was willing to take even negative attention, and kind of got hooked on her. It was CERTAINLY no design of Aviendha, who grasped wildly at any straw she could find to avert such an attraction, in all probability with a similar effect to thrashing in quicksand, or shark-infested waters. Fighting him so hard just made her stand out in his eyes and ended up being an unintentional but sucessful hard-to-get gambit. Rand never sought her out, he just kind of grew around her and then noticed when she was gone.

See, I don't get how that is a "despite" I would think the one goes naturally with the other. If you mean "lead" as opposed to "command" or "govern" I could see your point, but then you would be wrong, because then it would more correct to say she has been raised for the latter two rather than leading.

Not that I disagree, but how did Elayne get outmanuevered? She never fails to act decisively, that being the one characteristic anyone who knows her cites about her. Very often, not being as smart as she, (I am think of Birgitte, Gawyn, Min & Morgase here) they don't see the analytic part of her decision-making process, and only see her decisive action, not yet having made the analysis she herself has. Very often, Elayne is forced to explain herself halfway through her action for the benefit of those who simply haven't narrowed down the acceptable options or taken all the factors into consideration.

I could not agree more. It's like when she threw her knife past his head in WH while he was preparing to go after the renegades. She notes that he never twitched a bit, and she felt nothing from the bond. It was not like his confrontation with Kisman & Rochaid - in this case, it was because he takes Min's unwillingness to hurt him so much for granted, that he cannot even conceive that she would throw her knife anywhere it might hurt him. Likewise, she cannot give him a kick in the pants he might need to shape up. I suppose it worked out for the better that he did it on his own without anyone being able to help him, but I can't help but think that without the knowledge that he would always have Min, no matter how far into villainy he descended, he might not have gone so far. In a way, she might also have undercut any efforts either of the other two might have made in that direction, because it is a lot easier to ignore one girlfriend when you know another will back you up.

Because she's all about image. If you think about it, her supernatural role is something of a non-participant witness. She cannot change or affect anything with her viewings, so they serve no point, other than to highlight the significance of a person or event. Given her inability to DO anything of substance with her power, it is probably natural that she would confuse the difference between appearances and reality. She clings to the form of practical work clothing (a key part of her self-image as independant & self-sufficient) long after her garb has degenerated to the completely impractical garments designed to attract attention and flatter her appearance. She learns skills with weapons that are the most visually impressive and flashy, despite their lack of use, and her complete lack of effect in any combat situation. She uses little tiny knives that she can hide in her tight clothing, and as a result, she is unable to hurt more than Semirhage's pride. Why carry such ineffective weapons? Because deep down inside (as she admits in tGS) she knows how stupid and silly and useless she appears, and having knives hidden on her person reassures her that she is more dangerous than she appears and that those who laught up their sleeves at her only do so out of ignorance of her TRUE capacity.

Even worse, is that even grasping the beginnings of that idea is not enough for her. Despite knowing how Rand feels about danger to her, she places herself in dangerous positions with him. She saw how his inability to refrain from trying to save her got him subject to the worst of his abuse from the Aes Sedai while a captive of Galina & co. And you can hardly blame them: he has proved willing and able to kill their warders, whose lives are held on a level with those of sisters themselves by the Aes Sedai, over a very minor issue. Since they can't be rid of Rand, that mindset HAS to be trained out of him and he HAS to be made an example of, showing anyone who might see that you do NOT do this to their warders - much like harming a a police officer's family. The response is GOING to be swift and brutal because their own safety and vulnerable position rely on people being aware that they may NOT be messed with. It is almost not Galina & co's fault and they certainly had no intention of letting it go that far. Rand notes that most sisters would not beat him more than once, which smacks of a token participation for purposes of group solidarity or some other necessity. They felt they HAD to do it, not that they wanted to do it or were particularly mad at him. And Rand acted that way because Min could not keep from butting in. Min would not accept bodyguards, because she had to show everyone how tough and capable Min Farshaw was. Then once kidnapped, she had to know that there was no way Rand could be aware of her presence, and rather than keep that to herself, she can't resist seeking him out and giving him something else to be upset about. Despite all her time with Aes Sedai, she is unable to resist making a useless fuss about his treatment she should know will do no good and if anything is more likely to make the sisters keep it up, just to show everyone that you don't get what you want by yelling at a sister. Then she nearly gets killed when Rand blows up the chest, because she was lurking too near when he made his break out. In spite of this colossal pile of screw-ups she will NOT relent on accompanying him into danger, despite her claims of completely understanding him, which means she should know how danger to her will always be his top priority, even over whatever mission he is trying to accomplish or his personal survival. I once defended Nynaeve & Cadsuane retaining their defensive ter'angreal at the meeting with Semirath, when lending them to Rand might have protected him, because he can spare his left hand more easily than two of his three most capable female channelers. Well, he needs that left hand more than he needs Min, but he will always try to save her before anything else. Probably even Aviendha or Elayne, because they can take care of themselves better. And in spite of that, she not only agrees to come with him to the meeting, rather than defer her place to a more useful person, she actively manipulates him and uses their relationship to secure her place at the meeting, despite having absoltutely nothing useful she could contribute. That was when my distaste for her pretensions crossed the line into active loathing of her ineptitude and weaknesses.