because the short amount of book space left to us means that lots of things will have to get resolved at the same time...
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Slayer (internal): I am the killer of all things good! This Last Battle finally means that killing wolves isn't the best use of my time!

As his horse crested one of the Blight's meaner-looking hills, Slayer saw Lan - his only living relation, excluding Rand (who was prophesied to have a Norse/Arthurian funeral for some reason). Slayer knew that he would cripple the tall man with the odd shoulders and the cape that made him look like a nifty floating head. He wanted to let the Myrdraal hurt the statue-faced Warder like Graendal would, if the Dark One hadn't told Slayer she'd died permanently.

Lan, whose face is somehow all rough angles like it was hewn from a rock, drew his power-wrought sword. That blade was made by Aes Sedai before their oath, but that's common knowledge now. He charged, his cloak seeming to make parts of him disappear under the dark sky Shaitan made by blotting out the sun.

Lan (aloud) : I will avenge the betrayal of the towers that were seven! I will be like a wall crashing on you! A wall that has been weakened by plants and then comes down! I am deadly because I don't talk about my deadliness! I don't have to!

Lan's face was both angular and planar as his sword sought Slayer's flesh. He struck at the only other son of Malkier that the first 7 books mentioned, choosing the form he felt was most fitting. And so Lan of One Nation But Many Names used Drunken Uncle on Swovan's Night.

Their blades flashed in the night, like things that flashed after sunset during pre-industrial societies. Slayer looked angry and scared, yet Lan's geometric face was calm.

Slayer (aloud): You will scream in pain and beg me to let you serve the Lord of the Dark! Honeysuckle Cream from the Body Shop? That's child's play! Try Poison Oak the Awful Toiletpaper! Your parents sucked! They sucked because they were suckers, and the Trollocs used them as hand puppets!

Their blades continued to create sparks of light around them. Sapporo is a Good Beer met Zeppelin Rules. The Cat Climbs on the Furniture found File Your Taxes Early. Both their faces were covered in perspiration, which made sense. Lan's coat was torn open in several places and leaking blood, even though he's the best swordsman alive.

Slayer hated old One Man-Mandragoran even more than he hated most things. As blood trickled down his face, Slayer thought he should finish this battle which he had really already been trying to finish. He countered Lan's The Badger Doesn't Ease Easily with You Are Going to Die.

Slayer (internal): This reminds me of when Sammael sent me to raid Rahvin's stash of ancient objects in Andor's palace! Asmodean popped in, so I took him to the Unseen World, where I killed him so his soul died too! Asmodean died shouting, "Oh, no!" but he was probably thinking "the Great Lord can't bring me back because of this combination of death factors!" Sammael loved finding Rahvin's stasis box, but the gholam-shaped one was damn spooky! At least he didn't send me to Ebou Dar too! Or maybe that was Arrangar!

Slayer switched from You Are Going to Die into I Am Going To Kill You. Both of Lan's arms were amazingly rendered immobile. Egwene was the nearest Aes Sedai, but she didn't notice because she is silly.

Slayer (aloud): You will die as easily as Rand will when I find him. Die, already!
(internal): I changed my mind on torture, die already! Why is Lan's stone-like face happy? It's no longer straight surfaces, which made no sense to begin with!

It was already too late. Slayer didn't need to look down to see that Lan used I Can Lift My Sword With My Boots to run him through. He looked anyway.

Slayer (aloud): That's not a legal move! You cheated! That's not a leg...

Lan (aloud): I've been silent this whole time because I was figuring out how to kill you! Bye!
[End Scene]