You don't "tame" people, you tame wild animals. That attitude, in and of itself, is a problem.

I agree that many of the Aes Sedai/Warder pairs we see are, at the very least, friends, but I really wonder how much of the Warders' attitudes (the reverence they show to the bond and the complete submission to the bondholder, in most cases) is an effect of the bond itself. There are still things we don't know about the bond, benefits the AS get from it, that much has been made clear in the glossaries.

But yes, I do see the bond as a leash. The bondholder has all the power. Worse, RJ seemed to think it "cool" that all men are fine with being dominated and treated like trained dogs as long as they get to feel all big and strong from it (that scene with Siuan and Gareth made me ill - here is a man who is famous for his supposed greatness and he gets off on being owned like a thing as long as he gets big muscles and can go all day long without tiring? Really?? If all men are that simple and mindless, it's time for me to turn asexual or lesbian).

There were several things in the series with the bond that turned my stomach, and because of those things I will never like the bond as it is:

1. Alanna soul raping Rand and seeing nothing wrong with it. Worse, no AS who heard of it really had a problem with it, even when they know it's akin to rape. That, to me, speaks volumes about how AS view men and their power to enslave them.

2. Moiraine handing Lan over to Myrelle like he was some sort of possession to be passed around. Moiraine has done a number of things which I found detestable, and this was one of them. I get that she wanted to "save" him, and can understand that, but if she had any respect or compassion for the man at all, she'd have told him her intentions to use Myrelle as a step in getting him to Nynaeve. He'd have argued (he's a dolt, in many ways) but at least he would not have felt like she had no respect for him before she died. And, at least, he'd have had some *hope*. But no, she saw fit to crap all over him because she was jealous of his feelings for Nynaeve.

3. And this was the final nail in the proverbial coffin for me where the bond is concerned: the way Merise treats Narishma. If they want to play S&M games behind closed doors - and he enjoys being humiliated and beaten for fun - then, fine, go for it. But the way she treats him in public is downright detestable. When she snapped her fingers and sent him scurrying to the corner like some sort of juvenile delinquent (how dare he try to act like he's anything other than subhuman, after all!), I wanted someone to rip out her spleen and feed it to her piece by tiny piece. I saw everyone tout how awesome he was for standing up in the rebel hall, but all I saw was a puppy yapping and his leash holder allowing it for the time being, with the full intent of beating him senseless once they were alone.

I've seen people contemplating that he will be the one to lead the Asha'man...the thought makes me want to retch. Any man who would follow that...spineless, ball-less, cowardly sack of crap, knowing that he can't so much as blink unless his "owner" allows it (and you can't call it anything else when he can't even accept a piece of pie unless it comes from her "hand"...isn't worthy of being anything other than what Narishman is - a piece of mindless property. A slave. She doesn't respect him, and never will. And, honestly, when I look at all the other AS/Warder relationships, I see much the same, if to a lesser extent. Some AS may care for their Warders, and they may ask for an opinion on occasion, but they basically treat them like indulgent owners who are patting their pets on the head so they know they have done well. The whole thing nauseates me.