In the damane example, the flows are controlled by the sul'dam, but it's still the damane making them.

In the circle, once you've given up your power, you've lost control to do anything. I don't see how the oaths can do what isn't naturally possible--by preventing someone from forming the weaves when you're linked with them and pass along the power.

The 3 oaths cannot make the user do something impossible. It can only prevent in physical ways. Choking them so they can't speak the lie. Not letting them form the weaves of something forbidden. But, to actually stop someone leading a circle? That, as far as we're aware, is impossible. Once you've given over power--its theirs to do as they wish, for as long as they wish.