"Next time, on WoT:AoL: O:TEY: Things heat up, and Fire isn't the cause..."
Open on LTT, a hunky but vacant 30 year-old, standing in front of a fantastical gothic-futuristic backdrop with a beautiful 20-something girl.
LTT: Mierin, we should totally blow off Aes SedHighSchool and check out the shambulah match. My dad got me great seats. It'll be nardical!
Mierin: That sounds like the nym's roots, Lew-Ther! Let's get my buddy, Kammy "Grr" Nindar. She spends all her time acting pious, but she likes some kinky stuff! She said she'd love to ride in your private sho-wing after I told her I had access to it because I date you!
LTT: Two words, Maisia - streith underwear.
"'The Drag' learns that in order to serve others, he has to attend to his own doubts..."
Cut to LTT, mouth constantly ajar, as he sits in front of a fantastical backdrop with a guy slightly shorter than him.
LTT: Barid Bel, I gotta confess: the first time I used the One Power, it hurt my mom and my sister! I just can't stand hurting women. That's why I'm only half-good with all the Power I got! I wonder if that's gonna trip me up some day...
BB: Hey, Lew-Ther, why get bugged out? You're always oddly conflicted about what you chose to do! I heard the story in my Good:The Only Option class - it's all over Aes SedHighSchool! You ditched OP: Detecting Nonbenevolent People 101 so you could hook up with M and her friend! Dude, I know we live in a peaceful paradise, but I would totally knock you to the ground to get *that* action! Not that I just threatened you, or that you'll ask about it later.
LTT, handsome, stares slightly confusedly at his best friend...
LTT: ...
"A new face makes things a whole lot more complicated"
Jasin Natael puts down what is obviously a recorder.
JN: Look, Tel Janny! It's that new kid, Elan Morin!
TJ: Yeah, bro! That kid is weird. The only guy he talks to is Lew-Ther, and all he does is read philosophy. Yesterday, he's talking to a big black bird - now he's hitting up Mierin and her hot friend, Nemene! How does he get more Maisias than us?
Cut to pale, tall EM. He has odd hair. Girls are supposed to find him hot because he's weird but freakishly well-groomed. He's talking to Mierin and her tall, pretty friend with dark skin and hair. They're smiling at him a lot.
EM: Guess what, Mierin? It doesn't matter that you're so unbelievably hot! It's all the same! Life is nothing but pain, even in a utopian paradise. Hell, especially in one!... I think life's about getting more power so you can just make it all end. Screw their rules!"
Mierin runs her fingers along Nemene's shoulder.
Mierin: "More?"
Nemene: "Pain?"
Cut back to Jasin Natael and Tel Janin, staring out the window.
JN: I don't know, power bro! I keep sayin' out loud the exact emotions that I'm feeling? Does that make sense?
TJ: Let's bump into Elan to show our dissatisfaction. He might fall down and get hurt! I'll ask the rest of the varsity shambulah team to help, too - he might really hit the ground hard!
"And when Fire does show up, it's easy to get burned..."
LTT, maw agape, sitting with LTT's parents in a stock room that will be reused too often. LTT handsomely stares at what is obviously a chess analogue; he looks like he has gas. Suddenly, one of the objects on the board turns into molten rock and destroys what's clearly the opposing side's most important piece.
"I did it! I can finally use The First Power like I'm supposed to! I'm claiming to not be senselessly conflicted anymore, even though I'm speaking way too soon!"
Then the molten creation destroys all the pieces on its own side. Then it starts ripping itself apart, and sections of the analogue of the chess board spike up and down, burning...
LTT: ...
LTT's Dad: That was distressing and ominous, but we won't address it now! We have to tell you, my boy: we think there's something different about you! The Pattern has you pegged as the biggest Taveren in recorded history! A Tavvy, isn't that what you kids call it? Oh, to be 150 again! But this is serious, child - you'll have to quit spending your days eating fruit and whistling over women!
LTT's Mom: I will look loving and understanding, but not have a developed personality. Or I will be a half-crazy sexpot who's a living plot catalyst.
LTT: I don't wanna hear that, Dad! I got plans of my own! Business plans! I'm gonna start a one-power based international telecommunications site called FoxySnake.One.Power.Utopia! It'll be the nym's roots! You wouldn't understand because you'll get angry and then I won't explain it to you!... I am so mad at you right now!
"Back to the Supergossipville Memoirs..."