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Hate-watching Game of Thrones Cannoli Send a noteboard - 21/02/2014 07:46:08 AM

So I just got the DVDs for season 3, and after watching the first two seasons to get caught up, I have realized a couple of things about it.

It's one of the better quality shows of its kind. I am mostly comparing it to other high-concept HBO-type shows, and I realized that aside from maybe "Rome" and "The Wire," this is my favorite of those. "Boardwalk Empire" and "Deadwood" have their moments, but overall, I think "Game of Thrones" is better, and I enjoy it as a TV much more.

But, it requires a bit of mental gymnastics on my part. I used to do a thing for fun when re-reading past books of Wheel of Time, where I would imagine I had only read the first couple of books, and then try to imagine the experience of picking up say, book 8, and reading it as someone who has never read books 4-7. My point is, I have learned how to ignore the knowledge and experience of reading a book, at least as far as the application of that knowledge to related entertainment. If can't do that, I detest the "Game of Thrones" TV show.

Books are great. TV sucks. It's a play for idiots. And plays are lazy books. Nothing so clearly illustrates the massive inferiority of one medium to another as the differences between the same content portrayed in each. It's not like the things being done to the Harry Potter series in its movies, where they are trying to cram a novel into a two hour movie, so there has to be some significant alterations. They have at least 10 hours per book, so there are not a lot of excuses. And still, there is stuff that gets lost. I am not just talking about the impressive world-building and increasingly-developed backstory that make the series so much fun for a history buff, but which can arguably jettisoned to concentrate on the "present-day" arcs.

The pandering to contemporary mentalities and understanding, while explicable for all sorts of accessibility reasons, only demonstrates how badly TV sucks next to books. Unless there was a sudden and dramatic drop in human intelligence between 1996 and 2011, why would the TV show need to be dumber than the book, which was very popular and sold many many copies, mostly on speculation, and then sold many many copies of sequels to people who were satisfied with, and not put out by, the depth and details of A Game of Thrones.

But lets assume they know what they are doing and the pandering is neccessary. All that proves is how DUMB even a fairly intelligent TV show has to be. One of the best TV shows is miles below an escapist fantasy novel with zombies and dragons in their respective depth, scope, characterization, subtlety and so many other aspects.

Among the things that stick out as particularly annoying (not necessarily related to my TV-sucks-compared-to-books theme, but what the hell):
A. The disappointing visuals. Gregor & Brienne look too ordinary in size. Brienne, Tyrion, Yoren, Jorah, Yorge and other characters are way too good-looking. Cersei, Melisandre and Catelyn are not nearly attractive as their characters, and in particular, the effects their characters' appearance have.

The hair and eye colors of the families are another detail that helps maintain the imagery and feel of the story. The garments are described in ways that are more vivid in the mind than the reality on screen. It all comes across as drab and dull. The background characters all sort of blend into one another as a result.

B. The gratuitous sexual exploitation. The prostitute Roz, who has already been killed off, contributing nothing in three seasons beyond nudity and adding a kill to a psychopath's tally, has more lines and screen time than important characters. In addition to adding words like "valar morghulis", "dothraki" and "kahleesi" to the popular lexicon, we also now have, courtesy of this show "sexposition." Way to go, guys. And despite adding a prostitute character, they actually cut a sex scene from the books for the show: the only one between two consenting adults of similar ages in a committed and established relationship built on mutual affection and appreciation. Ned and Catelyn instead, are show lying fully clothed in bed when Maester Luwin brings them a letter. But hookers galore! Even hookers we didn't need to see. Tyrion's whoring is well-established by dialogue in the books. Why does the show feel the need to demonstrate visually, when they let critical battles pass with nothing more than verbal descriptions? This is the age of the internet. Anyone who needs to see tits that bad can find them without demanding the rest of us look at them too. Even Sports Illustrated allows you to get a subscription withOUT the infamous swimsuit issue, and separates all sports content from the latter, so you don't need to participate in the rather pointless and flagrant exploitation of these women in order to get your content, and the lechs don't have an excuse.

C. The talking. First of all, the English accents. The books are written by an American, and as such, anachronistic dialogue aside, they should be spoken in American. I would say the same thing about an American cast of Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia. Somehow, even without hearing the accents, or reading the spellings, or noting particular word useages, you are aware that these kids are English by the way they talk and the way things are said. American accents would be wrong, and English accents just don't work for this show. It's especially grating when you know actors like Lena Headey, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, and Aiden Quinn are all perfectly capable of faking American accents (in fact, aside from a part in a Jason Statham film, I have only ever seen those three playing American-accented people when there are no swords or magic involved).

Then there is the style, where they all overact and spit out the words. Mark Addy completely ruins Robert Baratheon's portrayal. When he belts Cersei in the books, it's a shocking departure from a heretofore genial, if sometimes blustering, party-guy, but at the same time, not so surprising given where the increasing evidence of his failings have led. When Addy does it on screen, you are only wondering what took him so long to show his true colors. Addy puts so much oomph into his words, making each speech like its Hamlet's freaking soliloquy, that he comes across as a vicious, leering and brutal thug.

And Emilia Clarke. There. IS. a. dramatic. pause. between. every. word. SHE. says. At least since her husband and henchwomen died and she had no one to smirk at. And that's when she's talking, as opposed to widening her eyes and flaring her nostrils in the general direction of a matte painting or CGI effect.

Even the otherwise excellent Peter Dinklage falls prey to the hyperbolic style. There is the scene where Tyrion is arresting Pycelle, and having Shagga intimidate him. On the show, as in the books, Tyrion tells Shagga to castrate him and feed the genitalia to a goat. When Shagga points out the lack of goats, Tyrion advises him “Make do.” The tone and set-up in the book is to impress upon Pycelle that they have no qualms about mutilating him, that the disposal of the parts they cut off is of more interest than his suffering. To this end, the implied tone is matter of fact and casual, in a sort of “Oh, we don’t have that? Too bad. We’ll just make do, then.” On the show, however, Peter Dinklage shrieks “Make do!” at the top of his voice, as if snapping from stress and tension, which conveys the complete opposite impression and attitude. Another example is in the trailer for Season 4, where he is shown all but whimpering, “If you want justice, you’ve come to the wrong place.” The context places that scene during his imprisonment after Joffrey’s wedding, in which case, his attitude should be bitter, defiant and resentful, not sniveling and pitiful. It's like they're all jostling for an Emmy or something, so everyone's hamming it up as much as possible.

There is also the way sex comes up in discussions. When talking about sexual matters, or when using obscene expletives, they sound all too conscious of the fact that they are using these words on television. Maybe it’s just because I’m from New Jersey where f-bombs are practically commas, but they really don’t swear like normal people. They sound like children, playing at grown-ups who are reveling in, or self-conscious about, a new-found permission to use obscene language. Watch other HBO shows, like “The Sopranos” or “Entourage” to see how people really use those words. Hell, even “Deadwood” is a paragon of realistic cursing next to “Game of Thrones.” It’s like they pause, then spit the word out. “And if you want to, FUCK PAINTED WHORES, you’ll, FUCK PAINTED WHORES, because ….” What’s the matter, Lena? Did you go to a drama school run by nuns? Or they’ll leeringly draw the word out, conveying a similar impression, that they are savoring the opportunity.

It's the same thing whenever Varys talks about his eunuch nature. "Oh well, as I learned when they cut my baaawls off..." In the books, people drop terminology casually if they are the sorts to use, or else never use it. Varys is one of the latter who speaks frankly about his mutilation, but always uses euphemisms. And don't get me started on Daenerys' scenes, where the only way to talk about sex involves use of the word "happy".

There are myriad annoyances of all kinds, like characters referring to themselves as their fathers' "baby boy" in a non-ironic manner. There are the anachronistic terminology that helped ruin the last couple of WoT books, repeated referring to military (sorry, I mean "mill-it-tree" ) affairs or Kings Landing as the capital city. The WORD 'capital' never even appears in the five novels. The word 'military' appears twice, once used by Stannis and other time to refer to the military orders of the Faith in Jaime's stream of consciousness. Considering the series is set during a massive war that directly and drastically affects every PoV character, it's not like they have not had opportunities to use it. They don't use those terms, because the concepts as we know them do not exist in that world.

And then, there is the verbal sparring and repartee which spiced up the books, added humor and depth and referred to the setting in a way that gave it an air of plausibility, that made it feel like the characters actually inhabited their world and were a part of it, rather than simply explaining it for the reader's benefit. Most of the genuine wit, they have done away with, and replaced with grammatical or semantic corrections. The one time I can ever recall that being used in a humorous manner was Tyrion noting that Cersei's protests at being called a whore by Stannis are inaccurrate, because, he notes "he never says that Jaime paid you". On the surface, that's what the show does all the time, having Tyrion play grammar nazi. In reality, it was simply a clever way to denigrate her even further by implying that she didn't even qualify for whoredom, as if that's a shortcoming on her part. The joke seems to have been lost on the writers, who have seized on verbal precision as Tyrion's character trait, and then spread it around because he's among the more popular characters.

D. Romance. Well, there really isn't much in the story, and on the show, Tyrion, Jon Snow & Robb have all apparently dated the same girl. In defiance of the way Tyrion's & Robb's relationships progressed in the books, the writers apparently decided the the least popular of the three characters was going to be the benchmark for how to write a romantic arc, and they changed the backgrounds and origin stories for two of the women in order to match the situation with Jon Snow - foreign chick who ignorantly snarks off at the character, despite his superior experience and sophistication. Jon had an excuse for being at a loss for words with Ygritte: he was getting laid after taking vows of celibacy, and she was so appallingly ignorant, he often had no idea where to begin correcting her. Talisa, on the other hand, blurted out the most absurdly trite reproaches, and Robb, a charismatic ruler, who had been raised from birth to be in the public eye and act accordingly, was struck speechless by writer decree, rather than her actually making any valid points. And then there was Shae, whose sweet, eager, girl-next-door, unsophisticated act might have eventually proven fraudulent, but was consistent enough to engage Tyrion's protective instincts and make him fall for her. Instead, we get a wierdly-featured woman, whose heavy accent and shrill voice that is constant accusing or complaining, coupled with a demeanor of jaded cynicism, makes anyone wonder what Tyrion sees in her or why he feels so protective of her. Given a few later scenes, the writers appear to be playing her as having sincere feelings for Tyrion, which is going to make the end of her arc a bit of an inexplicable about-face. It also means that their idea of a girlfriend is a shrill nag, when you compare the three romances they have written. Even Daenerys and Drogo is fairly close to the pattern, though she isn't as condescending as the other females.

So it turns out, they've dumbed down the dialogue and humor, relationships and character development, and undermine the immersiveness of the setting with anachronistic dialogue while playing up the most base and superfluous aspects of the series for cheap titilation. And it is still better than 99% of the stuff appearing on the small screen these days. This show is perfect illustration, on more than one level, of why TV is colloquially known as the Boob Tube.

Cannoli
“Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions.” GK Chesteron
Inde muagdhe Aes Sedai misain ye!
Deus Vult!
*MySmiley*
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Hate-watching Game of Thrones - 21/02/2014 07:46:08 AM 1022 Views
Some valid points to be sure, but rather prompts the question... - 21/02/2014 08:48:16 PM 488 Views
Re: Hate-watching Game of Thrones - 25/02/2014 03:57:53 PM 626 Views

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