I absolutely agree, 1000000%, but this is the crux. I've been so busy seeing red that I haven't bothered to sort out how to express it (sorry for posting FIRST, guys. )
I was so ready to ignore the bits that were implausible, but I couldn't manage it. It had beauty and the massive views, pretty music, attractive/talented actors, but then it absolutely went off the deep end whenever possible. It slaps you in the face, and I'm not sure I haven't added a few new wrinkles with all the grimacing.I couldn't handle it, apparently.
I mean, Smaug was massively cunning and interesting to listen to with Bilbo (and I love that part of the book), but then it turned into "Hur hur hur, I'm gonna git me some dwarves! Where dey go?" Sure he was pretty doing it, but he's fucking thousands of years old, and he ran around after some dwarves before they annoyed him enough that he went to go eat humans. FOR PETE'S SAKE. That part of the book was so powerful (for me), because I could feel the terror of the dwarves and Bilbo. That's gone in the movie, because we've already watched all the dwarves survive completely ridiculous ... everything.
Jens, I apologize to you, because I don't want to be attacking you or your review, but we just disagree. Strongly.