I have an easier time seeing Nero as a plain old crazy person than as a sociopath, but that could just be me.

But for me, here's what it all comes down to, storywise:

Initial stimulus: Romulus is being destroyed, Spock tries to stop it with his red matter somehow.

Then it just so happens that by accident a time travelling wormhole thing opens, which just happens to deposite Nero into the exact time and place where there was a ship where Kirk's father just happened to be serving, at the exact time when it just happened that Kirk was being born. Kirk then just happened to grow up nextdoor to where the Enterprise was being constructed, and just happened to be capable of getting into Starfleet much faster than other people, so that he just happened to have barely made it in at the time when old Spock just happened to be deposited back into the past, which just happened to be at a different time than Nero. Kirk just happened to meet the guy who could get him on board the Enterprise, and then just happened to be the one person who could figure out that it was a trap. Pike just happened to make him first officer (your arguments are valid, but more on that later), and then when Spock rejected this, they just happened to place Kirk on a planet within half a mile of a cave where the one person in the galaxy who could explain things was, and then Kirk just happened to find it. In need of a miraculous transporter operation, they just happened to be near a Federation outpost where Scottie just happened to be serving. They then catch up to Nero and destroy him.

Now, you can build up individual explanations for most of these that maybe sort of make sense, but when your plot is built on such a wobbly foundation of dozens of "just happened"s, then it just happens that your plot might not be that great. :p

However, you are correct that you can differentiate between plot and storytelling, and if you're talking about pure storytelling style with no regard to the plot behind it, then yeah, that was fairly well done. As I said, I liked the movie quite a bit. I'm a fan. But damn, I could use a sturdier plot.