The jam on the brim is also a nice emergency ration if one has to wander too far away from ones room or the kitchens.

On the subject of soap though, I'm not suprised that the hat would be ruined if they used some foreign stuff. Not like our proper soaps those foreign "soaps". I bet they don't even have troll snot in them! And to think it was Klatchian to boot! It's not just foreign when it's Klatchian, it's foreign-foreign. I mean, just think of Klatch! That "coffee" of theirs for example. Who drinks to be sober? More than that, why drink if you can eat? Typical foreign backwardness, I say.

When it comes to your old hats' resting place, how about you put it under the Deans bed instead? He's large enough to plug any potential black holes that might appear. Your stuff would also be safe when the position of being the one with stuff in danger would be transferred to the Dean.