Emond's Field now has a log wall and a watchtower. Perrin is forging weapons while people drill with weapons, under not-Owein's eye, and Alanna trains the Cauthon girls. Perrin pauses to survey the preparations for war and advise a couple of helpers who are making weapons with him. One of them refers to him as Lord Perrin, and when he says not to call him that, the other calls him Lord Goldeneyes.

2:14 LoL. He's only teaching black guys how to be smiths. It's "black" smiths or nothing.

A bell rings. People start calling out that the Trollocs are coming, despite it being bright and sunny and the show's CGI not capable of enduring that kind of scrutiny. Everyone runs to the gate, where an old guy I am going to assume is Cenn Buie, says "Trollocs! And their wagons!" Perrin is puzzled by the mention of wagons and goes to peer between the logs, to see it's people. He says it's the Tinkers and to open the gate.

2:41 Oh, cool. Raen & Ila showing up again, with zero context. This oughta be good.

Quite a few wagons roll in, and in the middle of the line, sure enough, we get Ila and Aram.

3:03 Oh, I forget. Raen isn't really a thing in this version, is he?

They greet Perrin happily, although Ila doesn't seem pleased that he has an axe, and he asks about Raen, who was recently killed by Trollocs. Some of the wagons have arrows sticking out of them.

3:46 Not Taika Waititi! Those bastards! They killed my favorite Tinker. Because he was the one who never said anything stupid.

Perrin sends them off to get water, and Faile & the Maidens follow in behind the wagons. They all exchange looks with Perrin who says, "They'll come for us tonight."

3:57 So why were they not in front, to let the village know the Tinkers were friendly? Also, why are Bain & Chiad so sanguine about following after the Tinkers?

We get an overhead shot and pull out of the village to reveal several abattises erected outside the walls, in the area between the forest.

4:10 Awful lot of trees so close to the village, considering they are expecting an attack. Also, there is a lot of new wooden structures, which meant they needed wood, but could not be bothered to cut down the trees that would cause problems.

Title Card!

Perrin is eating with the Tinkers, and Marin serves them meatless food. Ila wishes Perrin had joined them, but Aram is still bitter about the attacks, and says he'd probably be dead like Raen. Ila pushes back with Way of the Leaf, because that's what they have always done.

5:10 I notice she's saying the "we bury our dead and go on" line from the Rhuidean flashbacks.

Perrin says that maybe the leaves are falling now, but people will long for spring when they see how bare the trees are, and then the Tinkers' "wagons will fill again." He looks around like he's expecting applause for stretching out the metaphor until it screamed, and Ila says maybe there's hope for him. Faile looks proud or miserable.

5:35 That sounded so patronizing. And nonsensical. What are the trees supposed to be in this metaphor? And Ila's reply sounds like Perrin has proved he can stoop to be as stupid as a Tinker.

Bain and Chiad eye Aram from another table, saying he's handsome for a coward and express with hand gestures what they might like to do with him. Loial doubts he'd like it, but Chiad says Bain would not actually do it, and "no Aiel would dirty themselves with a Lost One." They both spit in disgust, because wasting body moisture like that is a totally sensible custom for desert dwellers.

5:58 Can't even have Bain & Chiad express their issues with the Tinkers without using sex.

Several villagers appear to be making Molotov cocktails. Several women are hefting or sharpening blades as the men work on stakes and abatises.

6:10 Our second montage of military preparations in less than five minutes, and I've yet to see any evidence of the Two Rivers longbow. Which is the only way the village holding off the Trollocs was at all plausible.

Alanna is coaching the Cauthon girls through novice exercises, and one of them wants to learn to throw fireballs. Alanna says they don't have time to learn, so she's just going to use their strength in a link. They ask if she can throw lightning like Moiraine did, and she turns around in exasperation or something, and suddenly notices Daise Congar watching (behind the girls, the direction she was already facing, so that could not have been the reason for her spin). She greets her, guessing Daise is the new Wisdom and saying that she can see the weaves, so she must be able to channel, and has been watching the lessons all week. Daise isn't interested in learning to channel if she has to stop drinking. Light help me, but that is the actual script and not remotely my joke.

Not-Owein is guiding a group of villagers in spear moves, telling them that they just have to touch the enemy with poisoned spears, and being accurate isn't important, so they just have to hold the line.

7:13 That's bullshit. A. Trollocs, I am pretty sure, have much stronger constitutions, at the very least being capable of eating things that would make humans sick, and they are already much bigger and stronger than humans. And I doubt there are many natural poisons, available in temperate climates in the small mountain villages in large quantities, that can kill a Trolloc quickly enough to matter in battle. But even if they have something fast-acting, like liquid nerve gas, the last people who should be using it is a bunch of amateur, barely trained villagers, in close formation, where they are as likely to flick drips into each other's eyes or scratch themselves or each other with their weapons. When you're a bunch of effeminate theater kids and writing nerds, stick close to the methods given in the book written by a decorated military veteran, rather than trying to get clever, 'kay?

Cenn Buie takes exception to the admonition to hold the line, and not-Owein condescendingly tells him that the longer he holds, the longer his family will survive. Cenn retorts that he can hold the line all night with a Two Rivers longbow. Not-Owein is amused at the idea, and asks if Cenn can actually draw a longbow, which he insists he can, "better than you, boy." With a smirk he makes no effort to hide, not-Owein dismisses poisoned-spear class to fetch their longbows.

7:35 This should be a moment of not-Owein getting the smug wiped off his face, but they are playing this like Cenn is just an old crank.

Not-Owein gets himself a drink in the meantime, when Alanna comes up to ask about their progress. He says they're all going to die, LoL. Alanna is more optimistic because she found another powerful channeler, and blah blah Old Blood. Not-Owein concedes she was right & he was wrong and hopes that comforts her when they all die.

They look up to see a banner being unfurled, a white, or dingy tan, field with what looks like a pencil sketch of a wolf with a pig snout. Music starts up as everyone oohs and ahhs, and comes to look. Faile mocks Perrin saying she knows he loves it. He doesn't think the Two Rivers needs any banners, let alone that one, and she objects that she told people about Trollocs being afraid of wolves, and it gives them something to rally around. Perrin worries that he's not ready and Faile agrees he's not, but the people follow him because he's one of them, not the best fighter, like the Aiel or best general available, like Alanna. His ability to fight monsters gives them confidence they can do the same.

8:49 I just noticed but Faile is always kind of hunching forward.

Perrin appears to accept this and asks if she got a message to Lord Luc, and she replies that he said "they'll meet us at the pass."

At the pass, there are more people erecting abatises in the roadway and prepping arrows, and Dain Bornhald is waiting, taking a swig from his official Children of the Light flask.

9:38 Dain drinks. I'm going to start keeping track of these shots.

Faile speculates what if they just murdered Dain, but Perrin says they need their help, since the Children have 200 trained men, and reiterates that he means it, while she rolls her eyes, because she's so cute and spunky. Dain asks if they are trying to keep out the Children's patrols and Perrin says he's asking them to join the villagers against the Trollocs. Dain is skeptical of his claims about their numbers, but Perrin says they've taken as many refugees into their camp as the village has, and does that sound like only a few Trollocs, with his aha! posture.

10:13 That's not a win or even a smart argument. It says nothing about the Trolloc numbers, just how many people went running for shelter at the first sight of them. It could be the same band making the rounds, with each family having seen the same ones before fleeing. That was kind of the point of Emond's Field standing together, to have the numbers that can resist what scattered families can't. Also, the Children are taking in refugees. Their ITB incidental help is rather more substantial on the show.

Perrin insists that the Trollocs want to destroy them and will attack tonight. Dain is still skeptical and dismounts, saying Perrin knows a lot about them. Perrin says he's not a Darkfriend, no matter how much Dain wants him to be. Dain asks why he'd want that and Perrin says to make it easier to hate him.

10:36 He doesn't need any reason other than you murdering his father, while he was trying to save people from the Seanchan!

Dain makes that very point. Perrin says he's sorry. Honest.

10:52 Do the writers honestly think that apology makes it better? Perrin literally did that. There's no excuse. No justification. Also, he has no way of knowing the Trollocs are going to attack tonight, or if he has, the show has done nothing to establish their knowledge of that.

As Dain is stomping back to his horse, Perrin calls after him asking if he's sorry for what he did to Natti. He calls her "an innocent woman, burned alive, in your camp." Dain turns back as he adds the irrelevant datum that Natti was already their prisoner (like, those are the only people you actually can burn alive). Dain says she was a witch and Perrin says, without offering any sort of proof or counter, that she wasn't and died for Dain's grief.

11:15 This just sounds really stupid (and Marcus Rutherford's dumb voice doesn't help), because we saw what happened, and as far as anyone knows, Natti channeled, and received the penalty the Children exact, as we see in the first ever scene with the Children. Whatever one thinks of that practice, it is an established one, and Dain's grief has nothing to do with it. What's more, Perrin is not actually offering a diegetic argument, he is not saying anything to convince a person in the same world as he, who had the One Power used on him, and heard Natti take credit. His argument is aimed entirely at the show's audience the writers assume are automatically ready to accept all the worst things about the Children of the Light.

Perrin adds that Dain's father died for his (Perrin's) grief, and rhetorically asks "Where does all this stop?"

11:18 This is not some cycle of revenge nonsense. Perrin got mad that a soldier, in the middle of a pitched battle, killed a wild animal who was attacking his comrade in arms, so Perrin ran him down and attacked him by surprise and kept up mutilating his corpse, all while a battle was raging against their common enemies, and Perrin was ostensibly undertaking a vital mission to retrieve a critical object from enemy territory. Dain did not kill Natti out of revenge, he was holding her prisoner as an accessory to obstruction of justice, he was very much insistent on doing things by the book and not letting the Cauthons be harmed, when he was assaulted with the One Power for grabbing her hand when she was trying steal from him. He turned her over for execution when she admitted to doing it, in the first ever demonstrated instance of her prioritizing her children over herself. Perrin, and Perrin alone, has the information necessary to make all the right choices here.

Bornhald Sr had no way of knowing that Hopper was quasi-sapient or that Valda had gone off-mission for his own deranged grudge. Perrin knows these things, and knows the limits of Bornhald's knowledge (also he knows what a piece of crap Natti is). He is the one who had the power to not start the cycle by accepting that Hopper got involved in human shit, and paid the price and Bornhald's killing him was in innocence and ignorance. His implied plea to end the cycle, in his current position, is that of a man trying to evade the consequences of his own part.

Dain's answer for when it ends is "when the Light's justice is done." Perrin passionately argues that letting the village full of accessories after the fact be slaughtered isn't justice or revenge. He says it's a betrayal of what Dain claims to stand for and what his father stood for. Dain states, gesturing with his flask, that his father fought for the Light.

11:44 Seriously, if it was not for the usual shallow dipshit channeler-stan hate-boner the writers have for the Children of the Light, they'd never write this stuff, with a guy who wrongfully murdered a man, deigning to speak of and for him, to his bereaved family and ideological kindred.

Dain demands to know why they should fight for Perrin. He pompously replies that it's the right thing to do. He approaches Dain closely and offers that if Dain & the Children come to the village and fight for the Two Rivers, he'll go with Dain afterward.

12:05 Rutherford has three acting moves: there is the constant whispery voice that sounds like a normal person affecting stupidity. He furrows his brow, or scrunches up his nose, to indicate emotion. And finally, cocking his head with one of those expressions when he thinks Perrin has just said something clever. And that's it. Marcus Rutherford's entire acting repertoire.

12:16 Dain drinks.

He says he won't waste his men's lives on an empty promise, and that if the Trollocs don't finish Perrin, the Children will.

12:30 Notice how despite all the extra alcohol consumption they have inserted into the show, the signal that Dain is not reliable or "good" is that he punctuates every scene or conversation he is in by swigging from that canteen?

Loial is writing in a book, with Bain & Chiad standing over him. They ask him about a word in the text and he tells them it's the name of the last king of Manetheren, who died fighting Trollocs where they are. Bain notes the similarity of his name to Rand's. Loial stares at the camera for a bit, then gets up and turns to the Maidens, saying that if this is going to be their last night together, he'll finally play Maiden's Kiss.

13:24 Is nothing sacred? Keep your disgusting, grubby, sex-addled hands OFF of Loial you perverted hacks!

Not-Owein approaches Alanna in their attic, offering her a choice of food. She is excited for one of the choices, but when he hands her a bowl, she looks less than enthused, so I guess he lied about the good option. She asks, with too many words, if he wants her to turn off their bond so he can enjoy a little peace before the battle starts. He says no and her face lights up. He goes on to say that if it's going to be their last night together, he doesn't want to miss it. Also, he has a fig. They playfully fight over it, and she calls a man "you bitch" isn't this progressive?

14:08 Why is this getting serviced instead of the main characters? Oh, right. These are the main characters, in the writers' eyes at least. Yay, nepotism. But notice we know absolutely nothing about Alanna & not-Owein and especially Ihvon, outside of their relationship? Every trait, every datum that does not go on a resume, concerns their relationship. It's the entirety of their personalities and motivations.

They start getting their bond on, if you get my drift. He stops her from using one of Ihvon's moves, because he wants to build something new with Alanna.

Perrin is brooding over an axe, he looks up at something blurry in the foreground, as Faile comes up and leans on a post behind him looking very pleased with herself. Perrin tells her that her hidden knives give her away trying to sneak. She comes up to reassure him that it's okay to be afraid before a battle, her father is and he's stupid enough to marry a Darkfriend and let her get to the kids fought in many. He asks if she's afraid and she scoffs that she's not a baby.

16:20 I'm gonna let that slide on the girl-power charges, assuming she's joking.

Perrin says he's not afraid of dying, but of seeing everyone realize he's a shitty leader who has doomed them all. Faile says they would never have fought without him, but he says they'd have had to, since it's their home, missing the point. But, he adds, it's not Faile's home, and asks why she's fighting for it. She gives him a look, and he says it's not just because of him, since they only met a day or two ago and their relationship is based on exactly zero character development and makes the book version look like a slow burn. Her answer options are that A. the question proves Perrin doesn't take her for granted, B. Mat ruined her plans to win glory with the Horn or C. she likes lost causes (despite her fleeing the lost cause of exposing the Darkfriend general in the Saldaean army), but lucky for Perrin, she's here. He tries to convince her to leave to spare him her death, and she asks if he's afraid he'll kill her like his wife. He gets mad and tells her to leave, but she yammers about her choice and whatnot.

18:12 Once again, they're doing the thing where the answer does not fit the connotation of the other party's question on argument. Perrin is telling her to go away, because she went too far with her comment about his wife, separate from the 'please get clear of the fight,' request, but she's answering that one.

Loial has two spear points at his throat.

18:21 Nope. Skipping.

After the game, Loial asks if men have died playing it. Chiad says yes, and women, because we're so progressive, and Loial says that by stopping the game, they saved his life and met their toh and can leave.

19:26 And their version of making Loial clever is really just making Bain & Chiad incredibly stupid.

Chiad gets mad, saying it is dishonorable to cheat an Aiel of her toh even though that means cheating the person who is OWED the toh does not get repaid. She storms off, but Bain rationalizes that by his efforts, Loial is trying to save her, Bain's life, who didn't have any toh issues, so now she has toh and Chiad is part of a package deal.

20:00 Well, ji'e'toh is incoherent gibberish in this medium. Must be a day that ends in Y.

Perrin is chatting up Bode & Eldrin and they are bummed about not being more successful at channeling and Mat not coming home and he finally takes the opportunity to show them the stupid portrait of Mat with the Horn. They are amused by the appearance of the Horn and start making jokes about it and mocking Mat over it, with the best laughter child actors can fake.

20:48 Their father is missing, they haven't seen their brother in over a year and they just watched their mother burn to death. Glad we're taking characterization seriously, instead of selling out for cheap laughs.

The alarm bell starts ringing as Trollocs are spotted. They decide this is the time to all sit down in the inn for a meeting. Since they have torches, Perrin assumes they have Darkfriends with them, even though Trollocs were seen carrying torches the last time they fought in a battle on this show. Alanna is sanguine about the numbers, and they have eliminated all the approaches but the mountain pass, and the strategy is to wear down the attackers at the pass and then retreat back to other fighting positions along the way to the village. Ila asks why the Tinkers are in the meeting since they won't fight, no matter what. Perrin has a special mission, because no one can run faster than a Tinker. Bain and Chiad make some noises.

21:49 Okay, that was funny. I'll give them that.

Perrin wants them to take the kids out through a secret tunnel that the Women's Circle dug under the inn after the last Trolloc attack. They agree. Now Loial points out that the Trollocs will eventually win by attrition as long as they can keep bringing in more through the Waygate. He is going to go shut it for good, with Bain & Chiad. Perrin tells him once he completes the mission to return to a stedding to recover from the Longing. He says that three more fighters won't affect the outcome at the village, but if they fall, Loial's book might inspire others when it's their turn to face the Trollocs. Actually, his words suggest the book will tell people how to fight the Trollocs, but if someone else hasn't written a book or 500 on that subject over the last three thousand years, the world-building is even more stupid than I like to believe. Perrin bids him farewell, using the Ogier phrase of introduction, because it's book words, so what's the difference.

24:19 This is multiple commercial breaks, and we're still in Emond's Field. I am afraid this is going to be an all-Perrin episode.

Perrin, Faile & not-Owein ride up to the first line of defenses. Perrin has armor now, and he checks the swords of the two guys he was teaching in the opening scene, Just Like Aragorn At Helm's Deep. The multiethnic Two Rivers men & women collectively do a much better job of conveying nervousness than all but a handful of main characters on this show are generally capable of.

25:07 Suddenly everyone has a bow. Is the show saving the Two Rivers archery skills for a surprise?

Perrin starts singing the Manetheren song from the first season and everyone joins in.

26:04 Remember, in the first season, none of the Two Rivers folk had ever heard of Manetheren, and Moiraine did not tell the whole village, she told the three boys & Egwene once they were on the road. This song should be utterly meaningless to them. And Rutherford sucks at singing, too.

The trollocs approach, not-Owein is apparently in charge of the archers, because Perrin says to shoot and he gives the individual orders. Blessedly, no one says "fire!" They do a number on the trollocs, Perrin gives the most underwhelming roar of triumph ever, and the rest of the people respond better, and not-Owein archly indicates he's impressed by the Two Rivers longbow, despite the non-longbow appearance of the bows in question. Perrin orders shields, as the Darkfriends with the Trollocs run up to the first obstructions and loose a volley and we do the scene from Braveheart.

Loial & the Maidens are observing the Waygate, while the Maidens in handtalk indicate they think it's lightly and poorly guarded. A courier runs up to tell the guards that they need reinforcements, which seems to be ahead of their intended schedule, so the guard turns to open the Waygate.

27:50 It's not a reinforcements cupboard! There aren't (or shouldn't be) reinforcements just waiting on the other side of the door for when they are needed! Anyone remember Journey of Destruction? The Black Wind of Lies That Are True?

Loial says they need to close the gates before the reinforcements arrive, so I guess the guard is going to run back through the Ways to the Blight to call for more Trollocs, who will run down through the Ways to join the battle.

27:54 In the first season, it took more than a month to travel from the Two Rivers to Tar Valon, which was then an overnight trip away from the Borderlands, and they bailed early, before getting to the Blight. At a minimum the courier won't reach the Blight until tomorrow, but more realistically, much longer, and the same amount of time (actually longer, for larger groups) for the Trollocs to return. So the master calling for reinforcements is counting on not getting them for at least three days, and more likely several weeks. Which is why I thought at first the guard was just opening the Waygate to let more Trollocs out. So damn stupid.

The Maidens veil up and move out, with Loial carrying a giant hammer and they make a frontal attack on the guards.

Back at the pass, a Trolloc heaves up an abatis, overturning it, and missing the point that it does not matter which end is up, it's still in the way and you still have to get around it, making you easier to shoot. Perrin tells not-Owein "now", he calls for the archers and starts ordering them to shoot. IDK why this is a new thing or what "now" was supposed to mean. Not-Owein is drawing a bead on another target when Perrin comes up to him and tells him "now" again, and the warder looks down all grim. On a hill overlooking the battle, Alanna is apparently telepathically signaled by not-Owein, and links with the Cauthons and Daise to channel at the sky. A spirally pattern causes stormclouds to form, and both sides, including Trollocs, pause to stare up at the sky. Perrin & not-Owein start ordering their men back.

On the hill, the girls are starting to spasm, and Alanna screams, but in a deep, macho way, not a high pitched girly tone, Light forbid. Giant shards of ice start slicing down onto the battlefield.

29:55 Blizzard, huh? I'd have preferred Death and Decay, personally.

The Trollocs and Darkfriends retreat and everyone cheers. Not-Owein sighs that Alanna will be insufferable now. On the hill, the girls are thrilled and Alanna & Daise look tired but satisfied.

Faile wonders if they've given up, Perrin says if they are lucky and looks at the Warder who tells him to go see what's happening, that they will hold the pass.

Perrin & Faile ride back to the village, where people are running around in the streets. Alanna & co are coming from another direction and Perrin asks if she saw where they went. Alanna says they made a tactical retreat, which Faile is skeptical because Trollocs. Perrin confirms that their use of armor & discipline is unusual so someone must be controlling them. He hears a rumbling noise, but Faile doesn't and he calls out a warning to Alanna, right before she gets shot by a giant arrow, and screams, low and manly. Over at the pass, her warder reacts as if he has been shot.

Well, this bond is a singularly bad practice for combatants. One shot, two kills, eat your heart out, Billy "Ishamael" Zane.

Daise holds up a shield while the girls drag Alanna to safety, but arrow hits disintegrate the shield like she's playing Space Invaders, until it collapses and she gets shot.

Back at the pass, the Two Rivers folk guess why not-Owein fell down for no reason, and then the Trollocs show up. Cenn Buie suggests retreat, because they are not soldiers and now there is no Aes Sedai cover. Not-Owein makes a speech invoking Two Rivers stubbornness and contrarianism, and they are fired up.

32:55 Not-Owein has taken over the leadership role now. Hey, remember in the books, how the Aes Sedai visitor specifically said that the Two Rivers would not have accepted her leadership, or that of her warder? That it had to be Perrin? And how Faile made a similar point earlier in this episode? Guess not.

Loial & the Maidens finish off the Darkfriends guarding the Waygate. The Maidens wonder how to close it, and Loial holds up an Avendesora leaf saying it can only be closed from the other side. He opens the gate and turns, formally asking them if they will defend his back. They just stare as he enters the gate closes behind him.

34:20 I guess their answer is "No"?

Back in the village it's now dark and Perrin sees not-Owein leading the defenders back to the village, saying they held as long as they could without an Aes Sedai. Faile is concerned that without her they can't hold in the village either. Meanwhile, the Cauthon girls are failing to Heal Alanna. Rather than a "there is no try" lesson, she gives them a participation trophy pat on the head.

Outside a horn is blowing and Perrin asks who it is. The lookouts say it's the Children of the Light with a truce flag. The gate is opened and the Children ride in.

35:42 They have the abatises lined up alongside the road, leaving open to the gate. That's not how you do it! You put at least one just in front of the gate, so that no one can ram it, or rush the gate when it's open, and others in staggered positions so there is no straight path, breaking up the momentum of oncoming enemies, by forcing them go wind around and through the obstacles.

Faile expresses surprise that they came, because she wasn't at Falme, where they saved the continent by driving off the Seanchan. Dain says that it was the right thing to do. Dain says they came by way of the pass, and saw no Trollocs, that it was abandoned so Perrin, channeling the Stalinist sympathies of the showrunners, promptly executes not-Owein for cowardice in making a tactical retreat. For the slow kids, not-Owein explains that the Trollocs took the pass less than an hour ago and it should not be abandoned.

Then Fain rides in wearing the uniform of the Children. Perrin is shocked and tells Dain he's a Darkfriend, ordering the gates closed, but Fain's men kill the gatekeepers and Fain orders them to hold the gates. Long pause for drama, and he orders an attack and his Whitecloaks charge the good ones, and outside Trollocs come rushing, shooting fire arrows ahead of themselves. The villagers start hucking Molotov cocktails off the walls and they blow up in the Trollocs' faces, but they have a straight shot at the open gate, almost like one of us, and I don't mean the show-writers, knows what he's talking about.

The Children of the Light are pushing the gates closed, but the Trollocs reach them and shove them open again, and are now in the village. Perrin orders the archers who are on the rooftops to shoot, not-Owein orders the fighters back to form a line and hold the village square, and Faile shouts, quote "Guys, let's move!" For real. Dain tells Perrin he didn't know about Fain and Perrin shouts "You should have," officially rebuking the Children of the Light for not being sufficiently paranoid about Darkfriends.

A group of people of a certain gender, guess which one, are standing in a line, looking determined and grim, with Marin al'Vere behind them. Ila comes out of the inn behind her and Marin tells her to go now. Ila backs into the inn as Marin shouts for the Women's Circle to hold the line. They hoist shields, and hold spears over them, like hoplites in dresses.

Inside the inn, Ila and Aram start leading the kids to the escape tunnel. Outside, people are fighting and the Trollocs are getting all the kills, are you worried yet?

In the Ways, Loial is hammering at the frame of the Gate, and making it vibrate, but causing no damage. The lines of torch-bearing enemies is visible in the distance and he starts to get worried. Outside, Darkfriends approach calling for reinforcements, and seeing all the bodies. Bain & Chiad are just chilling on the steps, and when the Darkfriends and Trollocs get close, walk down the steps, veil and hoist their weapons, which I guess is what Loial meant by watching his back.

In the woods, Aram and company emerge with the children, children, not the heroes of Falme, only to hear a Trolloc, so they run as it pursues them.

In the village, Valda is lurching around holding his side, but still cutting down false Whitelcoaks, looking around like he's searching for something.

In the woods, the White Walkers are closing in on Winterfell, but, actually, I mean Aram is running with the Trolloc in hot pursuit.

40:12 Let me guess. Aram's going to kill this Trolloc and they're going to try to draw parallels to Hobbit Rand from the flashbacks.

He stops to hide behind a tree that is not as wide as he is, and the baby he is carrying starts to cry. The Trolloc pounces on someone and then turns toward Aram and he runs. It lunges at him from all fours, he ducks and it rolls over, dropping a blade. Aram stares at the blade, then as the Trolloc draws near, grabs it and stabs. He gets up with the baby still crying, holding the bloody sword and of course, Ila shows up. Aram drops the blade, but she backs away from him, horrified, because the Way of the Leaf is a hymen.

Perrin is defending the forge by punching a Trolloc. He uses the dangling chains to shove the Trolloc into the coals. He then watches out the window as Trollocs start carving up the Women's Circle, exclaiming "Everyone's going to die tonight because of me, I failed them" so we understand his arc.

Actually Faile is there with him, and he was talking to her. She says that failure is liberating, because now he's faced his worst fear. She asks what would he give for the Two Rivers, he scrunches his face and says everything. So she tells him to show them, he scrunches his face again and charges out. After tossing a Trolloc out through the wall of the forge, he is all manfully stomping around snarling when he sees a big hammer hanging up, that I think he was staring at earlier in the day.

Holding both hammer and axe, he heroically moves to the door, preparing to enter the fray and tells Faile to stay behind him. She starts to whine about trying to protect her and he tells her to kill the ones he misses. She grins. He wades into the fight, swinging both weapons, and one-shotting Trollocs, while Faile does spins and flips behind him and the soundtrack makes slicing noises, and Trollocs fall.

He rallies the people in the square and everyone is all hyped. Fighty-fight-fight. Dain and not-Owein are also shown fighting. Women kill some Trollocs and Faile expresses admiration for the Women's Circle. Valda comes into the area where the Cauthon girls are still trying to help Alanna. He tells them to step aside, and they do, only for the Power to start swirling around them as they hold hands, just like they did every time we've seen them channel before, but which they haven't tried while hovering over Alanna. Valda stares at them in horror, realizing he was duped by these devil children into executing their innocent mother for their crimes, and they incinerate him. He falls screaming, while Alanna laughs hysterically.

44:17 R.I.P. Emmon Valda. He died trying to save children from a witch. Congrats on that, show. You've repeatedly made the Children of the Light more heroic, despite your mindless contempt for them.

The watchtower is on fire, and collapses. Two women take down a Trolloc with the rope-held-between-us trick that only ever works on screen. Fighty-fight-fight. Perrin's just kind of standing there watching. Fain is also staring, giant teeth gleaming as he cuts a woman's throat. Perrin strides out to fight him, cutting down Trollocs that get in the way. Faile is riding one piggy-back, and prison-shanking it in the back of its head.

Perrin comes up to Fain, who laughs, but then looks worried when Perrin handily dispatches his two bodyguard Trollocs. He turns to run, but Perrin throws his hammer and knocks him down. He tackles Fain when he tries to get up again, and knocks the blade from his hand, and yells as he holds his axe over him. He just holds the axe while we follow Faile running somewhere for some reason. Back to Perrin and he is still holding up the axe, but can't bring himself to use it and holds it to Fain's throat.

He screams at Fain "Why did you do this to us! Why do you hate us?" but it sounds like "Whuh did yuh do dis do us! Whuh duh yuh hay tus?" And Fain can't believe this idiot, responding that he doesn't hate them, he DGAF about the people or the place, he's just following the Great Lord's orders to eradicate it in order to spite Rand.

46:00 You really needed to know this? You're as dumb as you sound, Perrin. By the way, what is the show's excuse for Perrin not surrendering to the Children after the battle, since they're actually fighting? Are the Children going to be slain to the last man defending Emond's Field? Or is Perrin going to just blow them off, after he has shown more scruples about killing a known Darkfriend then he did murdering the man who was leading the fight against the Seanchan?

He tells Perrin to kill him or don't, he has too many Trollocs coming through the Ways to stop, and the village won't live to see Bel Tine.

Back in the Ways, Loial is still banging on the doorframe, to no avail. He can hear their screams now. He stops, closes his eyes and hums, before holding the hammer, and then starting to bash the floor at his feet. He stares determinedly at the approaching enemy, and roars at them, before striking a final mega blow. The Waygate, with Loial, falls off the end of the bridge, just as they reach it.

47:41 Welp, guess they got tired of doing Loial's makeup each episode.

Dramatic music and singing over the Aiel slo-mo fighting outside the Waygate. Their enemies knock them to the ground, but before they are killed, the Waygate explodes in a fiery blast.

Perrin sees the light of the explosion in the sky. He tells Fain that he's not getting reinforcements, but Fain is undeterred, saying he has enough troops already. Perrin asks why he smells afraid, and points out that his people are just shepherds and farmers, but Fain is the only one who is afraid. Fain blurts out an offer of a deal, but Perrin says, no, he'll make Fain a deal. He stands up and tells Fain that he knows he's been controlling the Trollocs the whole time, so if he wants to live, he has to call off his army and run far away and never return. Or he can die right here for no reason.

Fain asks if Perrin will trust him to keep his promise, and Perrin says to trust that he'll keep up his end if Fain doesn't.

49:24 The only justification for Perrin to make this offer is that the Two Rivers folk are going to be overrun and killed without the deal. Which completely negates his ability to follow through on his threat if Fain backslides. This is a nonsense deal, allowing Trollocs to run free, and counting on the word of a Darkfriend. This is treason against the Light and criminal stupidity all in one.

According to Fain, the Dark One wants the Two River eradicated. So what he is going to do, go back to the Great Lord and say "Sorry boss, but they were going to kill me unless I called off the attack"? Either Fain is dead anyway, with no incentive to comply, or the Great Lord is a wuss and a pushover of a boss. Are we supposed to be worried about Rand facing him?

Fain starts calling out commands in what I assume is Trolloc. Suddenly, the Two Rivers folk are looking around with no enemies in sight. Fain keeps yelling as Perrin lets him up. He and the Trollocs and Darkfriends start running, and no one bothers to chase them too far, except for a couple of Children of the Light, briefly. Faile comes up to Perrin and they kiss for a bit despite their gross, bloody faces. Marin hugs them, there are backslaps with Cenn and then he grabs his pupil from the opening scene by the face, and presses their heads together, calling him "warrior."

Suddenly it's daylight and the cleanup is well underway. Alanna is sitting on the steps of the inn under her Warder's arm, when the Cauthon Twins approach holding hands. They ask if she'll take them back to the Tower, but she says no, because the Pattern has bigger plans for them, since they saved her life twice. They accept this means they have been drafted into her private organization and wander off. She & not-Owein exchange looks. Aram watches Ila on her wagon from a distance.

51:29 Good thing the Tinkers somehow knew to bring the kids home.

Marin comes up to Aram and informs the show-only crowd, and reminds the book readers, that his people are really good at mending pots, so she offers him the job of Two Rivers blacksmith.

Inside, Perrin & the girls process up to Loial's desk, where his book sits in a sunbeam, because he's dead, and not around to worry about the damage sunlight would do to his book. Perrin notes the presence of the book is inconsistent with his final orders to Loial and Faile says that leaving the book meant he knew he wasn’t coming back.

52:08 Shouldn't Bain & Chiad be getting punched repeatedly for letting a comrade get killed?

They say the stuff about waking from a dream. Perrin scrunches his face to indicate grief, while Bain mashes up Aiel & Ogier courtesies in a half-assed eulogy. She and Chiad wave their hands in a synchronized motion and smile like "We're done here" and walk off.

Perrin opens the book to the last page, and Loial voices over a pseudo-poetic description of how the Two Rivers leveled up and became badass. Perrin walks out of the inn just as Voiceover Loial starts to blow smoke up his ass, and the Children of the Light ride in.

Dain dismounts and approaches Perrin, with the moral high ground, now that all the evil black guys have been purged from the organization, and reminds Perrin of their deal. Faile's all WTF? And Dain goes on to recite the terms of Perrin surrendering.

Faile holds a knife and points out the correlation of numbers and other people start hefting weapons, with the Children drawing swords in response.

Perrin stands there like a lump for a moment, then remembers his lines and starts waving his arms, telling everyone to stop. Bain sheathes her knife. Perrin tells Dain he'll come.

Faile points out the "gonna kill you" drawback, and Perrin sanctimoniously says that's their choice. He compares it, with much face scrunching, to her choice to fight and adds that his choice is to >scrunch< stop fighting. He asks her to respect that and she's a WoT-on-Prime character, so she is dumb enough to accept it. Perrin makes eye contact with Ila, who is watching with her arms folded, and a vaguely quizzical look, like he's doing okay so far, but will he stick the landing.

Then he sanctimoniously proclaims to Dain that "Violence never ends until someone says 'enough'" and then the Dark One takes over the world. Ila seems proud and Faile's expression is as opaque as ever, but devoid of the usual smirk, so she's probably just glad she didn't let him past second base before she realized what a tool he was. Perrin holds out his hands for cuffs like George Floyd, Michael Brown and Eric Garner should have, and oh, hey! He's alive and they aren't and the Children lead him off while Loial keeps on hyping him in voiceover.

As the Children mount up to lead Perrin away, his pupil shouts "Hail Perrin Goldeneyes, Lord of the Two Rivers!" Others join in as he walks with his hands held out melodramatically and a possible CGI tether leading him behind his captor's horse.

55:52 This is just retarded. There is no cycle of violence going on, just a case of either the Children interposing themselves where they don't belong, or Perrin being a criminal. And the way the show has depicted it, he is. Also, hailing him as your lord while he is being led off in fetters is weak. And on the show's part, having a voiceover claiming Perrin is awesome does not make up for the complete failure to show his awesomeness over three seasons.

The end.

55:59 Liars!

That was utter shit and the fans are probably going to eat it up, because of all the awesome battles. Even though they sucked and there was barely any story. Ugh. Also, they're all acting like the village is saved for good and for all time now, except the Dark One wants it destroyed because Rand. Well, nothing has changed in that regard, so why do we think there is not going to be a bigger, badder attack, escalating if they are fought off, until the Dark One gets what he wants?