On Sunday the 25th, my niece and nephews will be giving a 50th anniversary party for my late wife's older sister and her husband. I will not be able to attend due to a prior commitment. I'm not sorry, for two reasons.

First and foremost, my brother in law is a perfect asshole who was a lousy husband and father. Second, but perhaps even more important to me is this:

His wife, my wife's sister has dementia. It's bad and worsening fast. One year ago when she first visited a neurologist, she scored 22 on the cognitive function scale where 26-30 is normal. Six months later her score was 15. Last month it was 11.

I watched this happen to both my maternal grandmother and my father but neither of them deteriorated this rapidly. I've been very blunt with her asshole husband. it ain't getting better and worse is knocking at the door. It's time he man's up and cares for her for the first time in half a century.

But to be frank, this horrible disease that not only strips all your dignity but all your memories as well, is my own worst nightmare. All possible god's give me heart disease, the most painful cancer known to man, ANYTHING rather than ending up sitting in diapers, in a wheelchair, with drool running down my chin. I will absolutely shoot myself first and both my children are well aware of this.

Dementia is the ultimate Ship Of Theseus, of the brain, as it were. Are you the same person if all your memories are inaccessible? I think not. Cognito ergo est. Hence if I can't think, then I am not.

Roland, you inject philosophy into everything I post. This time I want your thoughts, no matter how verbose. I'm going to be 70 in December and I am terrified of dementia.