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Re: Yeah... banks and collection companies are assholes in those cases. aerocontrols Send a noteboard - 25/07/2018 04:31:49 PM

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I was very surprised when you mentioned the credit card at that point in your story, wouldn't have expected her to have one in the first place, given her circumstances and the spending patterns you describe. But then, that's probably a question of differences in banking habits between countries (nobody in here ever uses checks for anything, and credit cards almost exclusively for online purchases and traveling abroad - everything else is by debit card, and hence also no issues with outdated account balance information).

Maybe between generations? I almost never use checks except when paying a government agency (car tags, property tax, school stuff like sports team fees) Mother in Law is in her 80s and is not prepared to adapt.



View original postAnyway, clearly the credit card has to be replaced by a debit card, but guess the damage is done by now... I would imagine that can be negotiated to some extent if you're clear that you will pay the negotiated amount promptly, but of course with the collection company already involved, seems unlikely they'd waive their fees entirely even if the bank would be amenable to that?

The bank has already cancelled her checking account and credit card account. (Cancel may not be the right word for the CC - she still owes the debt but may not make additional purchases). I think the bank is out of the loop at this point. It's between us and the debt collector now.


View original postMy mother, siblings and I were in a somewhat similar situation when my dad passed away a few years ago - he had been in a slow-moving dispute about a few bills that he said were incorrect and declined to pay, but we came in too late and didn't know enough about the details of the case to be able to argue it, and by then the claimants had passed the whole file on to a collection agency, so basically the only viable option was paying those vultures immediately before they added even more charges. Pretty infuriating, alright.

My wife spoke to our attorney (who is not a bankruptcy guy) a little when she was setting up our appointment to get a Power of Attorney. Mother-in-Law doesn't really have assets to go after that are available to creditors in bankruptcy, so adding more charges is going to drive us to that option.


View original postIt's not very clear to me to which extent giving up the car is at all a viable option, whether she can still go to her usual places without it. But even if so, it's still a pretty radical step which she'd surely resent you for - but maybe necessary if she's actually a danger to herself and others on the road. I don't really see a connection between the credit card thing and her driving skills, but you did also mention she gets lost even in familiar places sometimes.

She gets lost, but she doesn't really drive in an unsafe manner, and she doesn't go outside of her (shrinking) zone of familiarity. She even changed churches so she could avoid driving across town. The connection between the two is a legal one - if we actually take control of her life with a guardianship then we are liable for any damages she causes while driving, so whether or not she drives would be up to us at that point. I mean, if we become her guardians that of course it's up to us, but ALSO the increased liability seems designed to make us err on the side of taking away her car.

Hollywood has the best moral compass, because it has compassion.
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So... when do you take over for a parent? aerocontrols - 24/07/2018 10:15:44 PM 918 Views
Yeah the downside is what you said about her driving. damookster - 24/07/2018 10:29:59 PM 566 Views
A big problem is the paranoia aerocontrols - 25/07/2018 04:04:09 PM 618 Views
My dad got really bad before he passed. damookster - 25/07/2018 04:11:40 PM 564 Views
Yeah... banks and collection companies are assholes in those cases. Legolas - 24/07/2018 11:29:16 PM 568 Views
Re: Yeah... banks and collection companies are assholes in those cases. aerocontrols - 25/07/2018 04:31:49 PM 637 Views
Re: Yeah... banks and collection companies are assholes in those cases. Legolas - 25/07/2018 10:46:51 PM 550 Views
I use checks from time to time AgentApple - 26/07/2018 12:39:51 PM 532 Views
Anyone can have a credit card machine. It's a small plastic square you plug into your iphone. Tom - 26/07/2018 03:22:29 PM 593 Views
Not credit cards, debit cards. And bank transfers. Legolas - 26/07/2018 05:21:59 PM 588 Views
The last check I wrote was $45 to the 14yo who mows the front part of a piece of property I own aerocontrols - 27/07/2018 02:16:23 PM 542 Views
He'd have texted his bank account number, and I'd have sent a bank transfer. *NM* Legolas - 27/07/2018 05:14:50 PM 305 Views
I would take a different approach with the collection company Tom - 25/07/2018 11:14:43 PM 614 Views
Well I know I don't want to pay a lawyer. aerocontrols - 27/07/2018 02:27:49 PM 634 Views
I'm not suggesting that Tom - 27/07/2018 05:50:08 PM 528 Views
I agree with Tom damookster - 27/07/2018 06:05:47 PM 556 Views
As soneone who ran a debt collection agency for about 6 years... Urza - 28/07/2018 05:38:20 PM 622 Views
Thats if you even care to bother settling it... Urza - 28/07/2018 05:41:45 PM 530 Views
Did you ever break anyone's thumbs? *NM* Belals Girl - 31/07/2018 04:45:41 AM 324 Views
Yeah but off the clock and she begged for more :p *NM* Urza - 31/07/2018 04:49:20 AM 566 Views
Liar. Only two thumbs. Unless she begged you to break someone else’s thumbs... *NM* draggie - 03/08/2018 06:27:30 AM 321 Views
Harumph! Whats a baby dragon know about thumbs anyway!! *NM* Urza - 04/08/2018 04:54:03 AM 544 Views
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