A year or so ago I posted about the travesty that is pineapple on pizza. It has come to my attention that a far worse abomination has taken root in the cultural mainstream, one that makes fruit on pizza look like nothing more than a benign alternative.

I'm referring to the unspeakable practice of dipping one's pizza into - I struggle to even type this - RANCH DRESSING!

Dear God!

To begin with, ranch dressing is a disgusting product. The disagreeable fact that it is by far the biggest selling salad dressing in America merely proves that the average American is a Philistine. To defile pizza by dipping it into this loathsome condiment is a transgression that boggles the mind. It's bad enough that there are those who would do such a thing. But far worse are the restaurant owners who are willing participants in promulgating this practice. It's a crime against humanity.

I was somewhat dismayed to learn pineapple pizza had supporters among our members. But I will gladly overlook that food choice as opposed to this one. One can only hope that none would stoop to this level.