Maybe? Things that don't bother me are formal gatherings with my peers or gathering with my non-peers. That is, I can speak in front of a group of engineers at NASA no problem, whether they are at my level, below me, or above me. Not shy at my wife's church, or at a ballroom dance, or at a meeting of the local gave rescue group that I'm apart of. Plop me down and ask me to entertain kids, no problem.

Take me to a party, surrounded by my friends, and I'm ready to leave before I get there.

The second thing you said - it seems like for every profound saying there is an opposite profound saying. I would wager the one I'm looking for would describe the first thing you do as describing the 'real you' - the thing you do without thinking and second-guessing yourself. in vino veritas or some such. It's nice to think (and probably true!) that in my contrition, I am somewhat redeemed, but I would prefer to be the person who never had to feel contrite, because I had not wronged anyone.