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I see. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM

As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information. Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from. I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses. It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that. She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."

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Taking the high road isn't easy... SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:27:47 PM 756 Views

I think the counseling will help, assuming it's with somebody good Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 03:44:47 PM 378 Views

I'm pretty much committed at this point SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 03:50:26 PM 328 Views

I see. Sareitha Sedai - 25/03/2010 04:05:04 PM 337 Views

actually..... moondog - 26/03/2010 05:56:09 AM 336 Views

They live in Canuckistan

Macharius - 26/03/2010 12:59:59 PM 295 Views

Matters not, but thank you SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:48:06 PM 309 Views

Counselling might help

LadyLorraine - 25/03/2010 03:54:29 PM 298 Views

I hope so too SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:03:43 PM 290 Views

Showing your anger isn't necessarily bad if you can do it without really losing your temper... Legolas - 25/03/2010 04:24:03 PM 327 Views

Kind of like a bookshelf SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:01:03 PM 406 Views

I hate the high road. Macharius - 25/03/2010 05:30:19 PM 422 Views

Well, actually she's still running her D&D game SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:05:23 PM 324 Views

Wow... Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:25:53 PM 304 Views

Re: Well, actually she's still running her D&D game Macharius - 25/03/2010 07:26:47 PM 322 Views

Apparently I don't play any of the 'power builds' from it SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:59:59 PM 442 Views

Venting is good Camilla - 25/03/2010 05:40:50 PM 332 Views

Well, I'm doing my best SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:07:28 PM 299 Views

The high road sucks but you get less shit on your shoes random thoughts - 25/03/2010 05:46:33 PM 330 Views

Thank you. It's really not a lot of fun - SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 07:09:40 PM 297 Views

The best thing you can do is to speak to her when your anger isn't flaring, but be honest. LaSombra - 25/03/2010 07:08:48 PM 310 Views

The high road certainly isn't easy. Jacob - 25/03/2010 07:42:47 PM 395 Views

You know...we're not close & we frequently do not get along.... Jeordam - 25/03/2010 07:57:01 PM 426 Views

This. *NM* Avendesora - 25/03/2010 08:00:40 PM 122 Views

Sounds like good advice (says the guy without kids

) *NM* Floffe - 25/03/2010 08:48:27 PM 124 Views

Thanks Jeo SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 08:58:37 PM 313 Views

/me hugs I love Rafolites. *NM* StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:11:39 PM 127 Views

*hugses* Beqi - 25/03/2010 08:56:36 PM 295 Views

I'm sure I don't have to tell you this nossy - 25/03/2010 09:18:31 PM 315 Views

Make sure you keep records of the money you give her and the clothes you buy. Tim - 25/03/2010 09:34:49 PM 306 Views

Lord I hope it doesn't come to that. SilverWarder - 25/03/2010 11:58:35 PM 322 Views

I told you. Medication. rebelaessedai - 25/03/2010 10:04:11 PM 313 Views

I have to Agree, I think your wife needs psyche help, and medical help. StarrBecca - 25/03/2010 11:13:48 PM 306 Views

let's assume, for the sake of discussion... damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:25 AM 407 Views

ugh...stupid double post *NM* damookster - 26/03/2010 03:59:45 AM 132 Views

Can I offer a suggestion for dealign with the anger? callandor1000 - 26/03/2010 04:45:37 AM 317 Views

Have you considered Domestic Violence? *NM* Dark Cannoli'gar - 26/03/2010 06:02:43 AM 146 Views

Naturally not. SilverWarder - 26/03/2010 01:50:27 PM 311 Views

i can't really add anything that hasn't been said before moondog - 26/03/2010 06:10:47 AM 300 Views

:/ *hugs* *NM* globug0822 - 30/03/2010 02:11:24 PM 126 Views

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<quote id="92079">
<quote id="92073">
As in, I've told her I would and it would be mean and petty to go back on my word.

She does need it where she is and she has no other way of getting it. Making her wait until she can afford it just seems mean and petty, particularly as that could be quite awhile.

If she asks me for money to help cover her rent though the answer is going to be a flat out 'no'.
</quote>

I mean, I wouldn't describe it as mean and petty so much as adapting to changing circumstances/information.  Mean and petty would be telling her you won't buy it because you don't want to make her feel like a burden on your finances :P

That's fair though, and I understand and admire where you are coming from.  I totally agree with your stance on the rent and those types of expenses.  It was her decision to make her (and your) situation more complicated and expensive, and she has to live with and step up to the consequences of that.  She doesn't get the benefits of being married to you without living up to the responsibilities and obligations that go along with that.
</quote>

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