When I read your earlier post regarding your Dad I had tears in my eyes. This is really a shitty system we have in this country. Elders should be with their families as they progress towards death. If they need care that can be handled by a visiting nurse or aid it should be readily available and the nursing homes should only be for those whose families really can't take care of them physically.
I'm watching my great aunt progress. It's not fun. Granted she hasn't been through a large stroke or heart attack; it's still heartbreaking to hear the highlight of her day was watching the driveway into her apartment complex and who was coming and going. And she sits watching TV most of the day. Not that she was overly active, but she used to play the organ and piano at church, choir, bowling and a few other service organizations and did till 3.5 years ago.

Hugs to all your family Mook. Thoughts that you and your brother will do what is right for your Father and not except the status quo of care. There are decent places, but I've learned you have to go and find them for yourself. As mentioned above, the more the whole family is involved the better. Then it is not just one child/child's family but the whole that will descend if needed. . . . .


Amys