Spending all your spare time at the hospital like you are will exhaust anyone. Looking at the possibility of caring for your dad like that is terrifying on many levels. Or at least it is for me. Your boat and my boat are very similar right now, and I just had a weekend of Life firing warning shots over my bow. I am scared and tired. But I did have an epiphany yesterday. It brought a measure of peace. I hesitate to tell you because I don't know for sure that it would apply to your dad. And having your dad in the hospital right now may well be making your feelings that much rawer than mine are. Now might not be the best time.

So I think that for the moment I will stick with telling you that I think I have an idea of how you are feeling. You are doing a remarkable job of handling it. Things will continure to improve but I try to remember never to be lulled into thinking life is going to be normal again. But it will have compensations along with the downs. Please give it a few weeks. I think that things will greatly improve from where they are now. This is not a good point at which to gauge what the rest of your lives are going to be like.

Love,
Teresa

(P.S. Do you ever feel like duty is the main driving force in your life and feel guilty for it? I should just be happy that anything is driving me and not be picky about what it is.)