What has your relationship been with your boss in the past? How does she feel about you?

Have you talked about problems you were having with your children at the office? Have you said things that might cause her to be concerned for your children and yourself?

Has she met your children? Is there a possibility that she has formed some sort of connection with them? Keep in mind that it is easier to love a well behaved child. Might she be concerned about them because she actually loves them? That it wasn't a critique on your current parenting?

Does she have children? Did she go to college when she was raising them and have reason to wish that she hadn't? Did she have problems with them that she blames herself for because she wishes she had spent more time with them and less at work or school?

You know me. I can't assume the worst of someone without trying to look at all the sides and possible motives. I hadn't gotten the impression from past posts that this boss was a jerk, so I am going on impressions you have given me.

I just don't want to see your relationship go wrong because your boss said something in the wrong way. We all put our foot in our mouths occasionally. Or often. Or all the time. (I sometimes wonder why I bother using the energy to pry my foot out when I know it is going to go right back in the next time I open my mouth.) On behalf of people that say stupid things, I am pleading for mercy and understanding for your boss. I don't think they meant it to be offensive. They just didn't think it all the way through. It was invasive and insensitive but speaking for myself, the things that hurt the most are ones where I am not secure with my own decisions and actions. They are the ones where I need to look at what I might have done that caused someone to say something. Usually once I have faced my own demons and insecurities the anger and hurt seem to recede.

On the other hand I have had well meaning people critique my parenting choices and they were flat out wrong and judgemental and didn't know what they were talking about or the reasons behind our choices. One of those times still sticks in my craw. If that is the case here, than go ahead and be angry. That is understandable. If she was being a know-it-all, holier-than-thou person then shame on her. I am aware that there are people like that out there. A lot of them.

But I think there are more people that are just clumsy. If she was worried about you making mistakes that she made and ended up paying for years afterwards then that might call for some mercy.

Love,
Teresa