Ah. So she wasn't pressuring you. She was just being open about how she was feeling and why she
Tashmere Send a noteboard - 27/01/2010 12:30:01 PM
was so quiet. That makes sense and sheds a different light on it. At first I thought she was trying to manipulate you but then I thought about it harder and could see other possibilities. That was why I asked exactly what she said.
At some point, with or without your help, she is going to realize that she would rather be hurt or dissappointed by your honesty than to have you lie to save her feelings. That would hurt her way more and she sounds like she is smart enough to figure that out. She probably already knows that on some level. She may be kicking herself for telling you before she was reasonably sure you felt the same way. Both because it made her feel dumb and because she understands that it put pressure on you and that wasn't what she meant to do.
She is just hurting a little right now. Just show her that you care by your actions and let nature take its course with her. She will be okay.
At least that is how it worked in my experience. I have been in her shoes.
Good luck.
Tash
And she said that she put herself out there and is feeling very vulnerable and open right now.
Things I understand. What I can't figure out is how to make her feel less vulnerable without saying 'I Love You.'
Things I understand. What I can't figure out is how to make her feel less vulnerable without saying 'I Love You.'
At some point, with or without your help, she is going to realize that she would rather be hurt or dissappointed by your honesty than to have you lie to save her feelings. That would hurt her way more and she sounds like she is smart enough to figure that out. She probably already knows that on some level. She may be kicking herself for telling you before she was reasonably sure you felt the same way. Both because it made her feel dumb and because she understands that it put pressure on you and that wasn't what she meant to do.
She is just hurting a little right now. Just show her that you care by your actions and let nature take its course with her. She will be okay.
At least that is how it worked in my experience. I have been in her shoes.
Good luck.
Tash
Why do people say it?
26/01/2010 08:43:26 AM
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I totally see what you mean and agree on all accounts
26/01/2010 08:53:16 AM
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The problem isn't them wanting you to say it is them wanting you to prove it
26/01/2010 01:54:16 PM
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If I were you...
26/01/2010 02:05:04 PM
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agreed, although anything "if you X, you would X" should be avoided
26/01/2010 03:16:11 PM
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26/01/2010 03:28:59 PM
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I agree but we happen to know the day
26/01/2010 03:52:20 PM
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I don't find it that odd that it was the boyfriend's idea
26/01/2010 04:05:21 PM
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Not in this case.
26/01/2010 09:32:00 PM
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teenagers are just wierd
26/01/2010 11:48:14 PM
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She's not a teenager.
26/01/2010 11:51:06 PM
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Just tell her what you said in the first paragraph there....
26/01/2010 04:57:55 PM
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It's a good tale of not just that...but of...
26/01/2010 05:21:29 PM
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I have a question.
27/01/2010 01:49:18 AM
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She is 26.
27/01/2010 08:22:41 AM
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Ah. So she wasn't pressuring you. She was just being open about how she was feeling and why she
27/01/2010 12:30:01 PM
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