We've said it over and over, and really this must be both the best time and the worst time ever to have a birthday. How many lazies club two gifts in one, huh?

Anyway, Jake, you are all that much older today, and in view of this I gift you:
a. A walking stick, gold-plated
b. A buzzer for whenever you get email
c. Party hats that fit you and your kids and your wife and your bats
d. A chocolate factory
e. Naked girls in a cake. With wings!
f. And, obviously, this list. Lists are awesome.

I ought to be talking about how wonderful you are, but everyone already knows you're smart and funny and sensible and cool and awesome. So from now on, we'll keep it a secret, and talk about your dark and distant past of robbing banks and killing dragons recklessly without wearing a helmet. Shame!

<hugs> Happy Birthday, Jake, and hopefully many, many, many more!