Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for.
Tim Send a noteboard - 14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM
I'd be much more OK with that kind of writing in a high school essay than a university one. If this is his first graded paper at university, for example, he'll need help breaking his high-school habits.
Vigilantibus non dormientibus jura subveniunt.
—Nous disons en allemand : le guerre, le mort, le lune, alors que 'soleil' et 'amour' sont du sexe féminin : la soleil, la amour. La vie est neutre.
—La vie ? Neutre ? C'est très joli, et surtout très logique.
—Nous disons en allemand : le guerre, le mort, le lune, alors que 'soleil' et 'amour' sont du sexe féminin : la soleil, la amour. La vie est neutre.
—La vie ? Neutre ? C'est très joli, et surtout très logique.
What do you think of this intro?
14/12/2009 06:14:51 AM
- 643 Views
I'm not a fan of the first two sentences.
14/12/2009 06:42:10 AM
- 419 Views
Well, i know for a fact that he doesn't opening with questions
14/12/2009 07:02:03 AM
- 528 Views
Sentence fragments are unacceptable in technical writing. You need to fix that.
14/12/2009 06:51:05 AM
- 413 Views
I want to stick a wikipedia-style "who?" in there.
14/12/2009 10:53:02 AM
- 404 Views
That's actually how we're taught to write in American high schools...
14/12/2009 02:39:56 PM
- 403 Views
Part of my problem is that he hasn't told me what level this is for.
14/12/2009 03:04:40 PM
- 380 Views
Aye, but it's an intro.
15/12/2009 08:07:38 AM
- 348 Views
References should come at the first mention of whatever it is. *NM*
15/12/2009 08:42:27 AM
- 161 Views
It's simply an introduction, my citations and stuff come in a little later. *NM*
14/12/2009 08:49:15 PM
- 208 Views
I smell a strawman...
15/12/2009 02:25:36 AM
- 412 Views
well it was in response to a prompt which stated people call it the "Golden Age". My hands were tied *NM*
15/12/2009 02:20:54 PM
- 194 Views
Stylistically it needs a lot of work.
15/12/2009 03:28:24 AM
- 457 Views
Hell, with a critique like that I may start putting up my introductory paragraphs. *NM*
15/12/2009 04:37:53 AM
- 234 Views