Not that his is bad, but I prefer yours.
Infatuation, passion... they're like fireworks: They come around rarely and last briefly. Oh, and they're also warm and beautiful, but let's concentrate on what's important.
Like lust those can be symptoms of Love or just an amazingly convincing simulation. One reason I favor long engagements is to provide time to see which is actually occurring. Really.
Learning that, from the little I've seen, is something most people don't do until their 20s, if then; it's something my middle aged Junior English teacher shared with us about her marriage, how it went from searing romance to "oh, crap, what happened?!!!" to "oh, actually I do Love you, and that other stuff that's fairly rare now was incidental to that. " As Tash mentions, people have all these romantic preconceptions about what Love is or should be. Everyone appreciates a nice snuggle or a roll in the hay, but those don't automatically mean commitment and sacrifice. And when the craziness of youth is past, when "let's borrow my dads car and go to Inspiration Point!" becomes "it's late, and I have work early tomorrow; how 'bout this weekend?" you better have more than romance or you've got nothing. When you're holding your wifes (or husbands) hand as you worry over your sick child at 3AM you don't give much thought to how she looks in a bikini (or he in a speedo; this is the 21st Century after all.)
That's not to say romance ever really dies in a strong marriage; I've never heard of that in a healthy marriage. But it slumbers, or steeps, and after a while it's expressed in less spectacular ways, not because the Love is less but because it's more, and you don't have to constantly declare your Love to the person who knows it's theirs eternally. Not that you should ever stop showing it, of course, and I know quite a few couples who've been married my whole life but remain QUITE capable of disgustingly cute romance or shocking naughtiness. That's just not the point, and they got there because they know that. Fireworks are fun a couple times a year, but when we trundle off to bed before dawn of the New Year it's the big solid log on the hearth that burns slowly throughout the night and warms us constantly.
Also: *hugs tightly*
Loving someone is different from being in love. It can get you through when the infatuation/passion is lacking. I really don't think many people manage to be dewy-eyed romantics 100% of the time. For myself... this is kind of sad to say, but as long as I have depression, I'll have periods when I don't really feel "in love." The two things are just so contradictory, and when you're that down, you don't like anything much. But if the person I care about ever needed me during those periods, I would still do everything I could to be there for him, and I hope he knows that. Love is constant even when nothing else is.
That said, I do like to think that people can be together for many years and still have those really sweet moments of hand-holding or appreciating each other, as well as a genuine sexual attraction. If I thought that were impossible then I would just stay single.
That said, I do like to think that people can be together for many years and still have those really sweet moments of hand-holding or appreciating each other, as well as a genuine sexual attraction. If I thought that were impossible then I would just stay single.
Infatuation, passion... they're like fireworks: They come around rarely and last briefly. Oh, and they're also warm and beautiful, but let's concentrate on what's important.
Like lust those can be symptoms of Love or just an amazingly convincing simulation. One reason I favor long engagements is to provide time to see which is actually occurring. Really.Learning that, from the little I've seen, is something most people don't do until their 20s, if then; it's something my middle aged Junior English teacher shared with us about her marriage, how it went from searing romance to "oh, crap, what happened?!!!" to "oh, actually I do Love you, and that other stuff that's fairly rare now was incidental to that. " As Tash mentions, people have all these romantic preconceptions about what Love is or should be. Everyone appreciates a nice snuggle or a roll in the hay, but those don't automatically mean commitment and sacrifice. And when the craziness of youth is past, when "let's borrow my dads car and go to Inspiration Point!" becomes "it's late, and I have work early tomorrow; how 'bout this weekend?" you better have more than romance or you've got nothing. When you're holding your wifes (or husbands) hand as you worry over your sick child at 3AM you don't give much thought to how she looks in a bikini (or he in a speedo; this is the 21st Century after all.
)That's not to say romance ever really dies in a strong marriage; I've never heard of that in a healthy marriage. But it slumbers, or steeps, and after a while it's expressed in less spectacular ways, not because the Love is less but because it's more, and you don't have to constantly declare your Love to the person who knows it's theirs eternally. Not that you should ever stop showing it, of course, and I know quite a few couples who've been married my whole life but remain QUITE capable of disgustingly cute romance or shocking naughtiness. That's just not the point, and they got there because they know that. Fireworks are fun a couple times a year, but when we trundle off to bed before dawn of the New Year it's the big solid log on the hearth that burns slowly throughout the night and warms us constantly.
Also: *hugs tightly*
Honorbound and honored to be Bonded to Mahtaliel Sedai
Last First in wotmania Chat
Slightly better than chocolate.
Love still can't be coerced.
Please Don't Eat the Newbies!
LoL. Be well, RAFOlk.
Last First in wotmania Chat
Slightly better than chocolate.
Love still can't be coerced.
Please Don't Eat the Newbies!
LoL. Be well, RAFOlk.
Doesn't anybody stay in love anymore? *NM*
- 30/11/2009 03:36:53 PM
559 Views
..well, I mean good for you!
I do. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 03:51:17 PM
297 Views
Love is a beast like a snake... feed it once a week or it dies. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 03:55:55 PM
277 Views
It is normal to both fall in love and out of love.
- 30/11/2009 03:58:40 PM
488 Views
the ebb and flow of society. Sometimes you're on top and sometimes you're not. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 04:11:40 PM
291 Views
and sometimes you switch *NM*
- 30/11/2009 04:20:48 PM
233 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 04:20:48 PM
233 Views
And sometimes switching frequently helps you stay in love *NM*
- 30/11/2009 06:36:53 PM
307 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 06:36:53 PM
307 Views
it at least keeps things interesting 
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 07:19:32 PM
245 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 07:19:32 PM
245 Views
Let me tell you, ladies... after 10 years even switching gets predictable. *NM*
- 01/12/2009 12:42:00 AM
285 Views
*NM*
- 01/12/2009 12:42:00 AM
285 Views
*NM*
*NM*
Depends on your definition
- 30/11/2009 04:34:51 PM
578 Views
That was inspiring and gave me hope. Thank you. 
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:04:52 PM
287 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:04:52 PM
287 Views
Thanks. I know how lucky I am. And I make sure I tell her that too. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 11:52:25 PM
300 Views
no but you keep having sex anyways since have no other valid options *NM*
- 30/11/2009 04:35:36 PM
285 Views
F-NO! Love is a joke. It is like sea monkeys. Waste of damn time and money.
- 30/11/2009 05:33:27 PM
506 Views
/me hugs Monroe!! it's always better to be pissed off than pissed on! *NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:06:29 PM
218 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:06:29 PM
218 Views
I really like Photo Jim's reply.
- 30/11/2009 06:33:14 PM
538 Views
When I originally wrote this , this morning, I was feeling kinda mopey.
- 30/11/2009 10:09:45 PM
589 Views
I prefer yours.
- 02/12/2009 01:16:42 AM
539 Views
I've been with my husband 10 years - love him more now than ever.
- 30/11/2009 07:03:20 PM
458 Views
You're very lucky. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:11:18 PM
288 Views
*NM*
- 30/11/2009 10:11:18 PM
288 Views
I'll agree we are lucky. But it still takes effort and a willing spirit. *NM*
- 01/12/2009 11:53:35 PM
320 Views
Love is just a means to finding a suiteble partner for breeding purposes.
- 30/11/2009 07:56:11 PM
409 Views
but what about love between those who have no desire to breed?
- 30/11/2009 08:05:00 PM
506 Views
Even if they don't want or can breed subconciosly love is still the same thing. *NM*
- 30/11/2009 08:21:03 PM
285 Views
Yeah, but not the same feeling you get when you first meet someone and start a new relationship.
- 01/12/2009 02:19:39 AM
371 Views