My sister changed her name when she ascended to the Crystal Throne, may she live forever.
Blaine Send a noteboard - 03/11/2009 02:52:35 AM
Backstory - My brother's son (five years old) is technically my sister-in-law's son from a previous marriage. However, vile ex-husband hasn't been a figure in the child's life since a few months after he was born, while my brother has been the "dad" since my nephew was one and a half. Ex-in law family have pretty much disowned the ex-husband and completely love my brother. My brother, his wife, and the kids vacation with the ex-in-laws, etc.
With the addition of my new niece, brother and sister-in-law are considering changing the son's name to better fit in with the family. They don't want to offend my nephew's biological grandparents, but they also don't want my nephew to feel too different by not having the same name as the rest of the family. Additionally, they don't feel that my nephew is emotionally ready for the "Whys" of a different last name.
So...
1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
There are ways to go around this, doing hyphenated names and whatnot.
With the addition of my new niece, brother and sister-in-law are considering changing the son's name to better fit in with the family. They don't want to offend my nephew's biological grandparents, but they also don't want my nephew to feel too different by not having the same name as the rest of the family. Additionally, they don't feel that my nephew is emotionally ready for the "Whys" of a different last name.
So...
1) Have you ever been in a similar situation? Either as the parent, child, grandparent?
2) How, if at all, would having a different last name than your siblings affect you?
3) Would you feel offended if you were the biological grandparent in this type of situation?
There are ways to go around this, doing hyphenated names and whatnot.
1) When my mother remarried, she thankfully didn't try to get me to change my last name. I was 10 by that time however and understood what my last name signified. I don't know how old your nephew is and how well he understands but by the age of 10 i was very proud of my last name, but then again i still had a really good relationship with my father.
2) My older brother from my mother's previous marriage kept his father's last name. It hasn't really affected me at any time of my life. I love my brother and his last name has never been an issue. He grew up calling my dad "dad" but i don't think having a different last name was detrimental to him.
3) If was one of the grandparents and liked your brother as much as you have described, I don't think i would i would have a problem with it. I'm sure they understand that their son isn't a part of your nephew's life anymore and they don't want him to feel like he isn't part of the family simply because he has a different last name.
Changing your child's name...
- 02/11/2009 11:07:40 PM
865 Views
Is your brother going to actually adopt the child?
- 02/11/2009 11:54:20 PM
660 Views
My brother wants to, but...
- 03/11/2009 11:18:20 PM
593 Views
Does he pay child support?
- 04/11/2009 12:38:33 AM
522 Views
Never paid a dime.
- 04/11/2009 12:44:40 AM
527 Views
I'd only change the name if he adopted the son legally.
- 03/11/2009 12:23:08 AM
540 Views
I'm more interested in the feelings/needs of the child than the feelings of adults.
- 03/11/2009 01:16:49 AM
537 Views
My sister changed her name when she ascended to the Crystal Throne, may she live forever.
- 03/11/2009 02:52:35 AM
627 Views
I personally believe the boy should keep his biological fathers last name no matter what *NM*
- 03/11/2009 03:18:24 AM
242 Views
Are they changing his name to Clark Kent? If so, I don't think the kid will have a problem. *NM*
- 03/11/2009 04:04:35 AM
240 Views
I gave She her dad's last name, we weren't married, had no real intentions of getting married,
- 03/11/2009 05:10:31 AM
529 Views
Here are my thoughts (I have been in a somewhat similar situation).
- 03/11/2009 06:52:17 AM
595 Views