Quite honestly, I was just thinking about you over the weekend as one of those wotmania friends that I hadn't heard from in a long while. I was Alric seVinta on the original site.
I'm terribly sorry to hear the news of your wife. It was an admirable and right decision to leave all those years ago for her. As a person who once lost a job and the website was one of the cited reasons, I know why such a decision was necessary.
None of us can probably help you feel perfectly at peace with the decision to post again. As your wife loves you, she will want you to find peace, love, and joy in your life. Reaching out to a group of people, weird as we all are, will help you be stronger.
It IS nice to see your name, Mook, despite the circumstances. If you ever find yourself on Facebook... Jacob Krotzer... look me up. :-)