I wouldn't want you to be caught surprised, maybe not carrying your umbrella for the rain of frogs or not wearing clean underwear, that sort of thing.

As you may recall, earlier this year a lovely old Christian radio host named Harold Camping predicted that the Rapture would take place on May 21, and the world would end. When the world inconveniently failed to end on the appointed day, Camping declared that the spiritual judgement part had indeed taken place and that the stage was now set for the true physical reckoning part five months later, on today, October 21.

Now, I understand that in some parts of the world October 21 is already over, with more parts entering that impossible October 22 phase every hour, but clearly God operates on American time. Likely Eastern Standard Time, if I know my dieties. That gives us, as I make this post, at most twelve hours before the Earth splits in two, or a flood swallows the land, or we all just keel over at the same moment.

And remember, this is guaranteed! Camping assures us it will happen, and he's an expert at doomsdayology. If you happen to wake up tomorrow and find the world still here, keep in mind that it is probably a figment of your disembodied spirit's imagination.