A few nights ago I dreamed that I shot my last dose of heroin into my thigh and was walking around a gathering of family and friends, started feeling sick scared and depressed, said to my brother "man I feel so down, I feel so down" and nearly started crying. Then I smashed my guitar impulsively, immediately regretting it (I've had the guitar for many years) but trying to look like someone who didn't care about anything. Everyone reacted with disdain. I knew taking the drug was a mistake and I could tell I was going to have to go through some extreme shit. I could feel it coming on like an awful sickness.

It's really hard to express how completely dreadful all of this made me feel, even after coming to.