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Questions. Kuke Send a noteboard - 03/10/2011 11:13:25 AM
I don't know what misconceptions about Mormons others on this site might have, but I have a few questions for you Cap'n:

1) Are there any Mormon pop stars/rock bands?

2) Do Mormons ever 'binge-drink' and pass out on the front lawn?

3) What substances do your Mormon shamans use to commune with the spirit world?

4) Why do friendly Mormons assume I don't know who Jesus Christ is? (Or, as well, where he currently resides).

5) I am a polite and kind-hearted man, most of the time. Why is it that, when strolling to a friend's house with some wine, with the intent on putting the wine inside me and being merry, that I was stopped by two men in suits who wanted me to see the error of my ways and not put the wine inside me? I had paid good money for that wine. I told them my plans and they replied "That doesn't seem like a good idea." I told them it seemed like an excellent idea.

6) Do your Mormon shamans prescribe any substances to encourage a full and rounded spiritual experience within your congregation? If not, how is your congregation expected to engage and develop fully with the spiritual world having not been given the chance to expand upon the limited awareness currently on offer?

7) What are your views on Quorn?

8. I believe all religions come from the same root message (Just be cool dudes to one another) and that the rest is just details. Your thoughts on the massive waste of time people spend arguing about these details?

9) Can't we all just get along?

10) If we all get along, does that mean I won't get shouted by strangers for buying and planning to drink a nice red shiraz?

Thanks for your time. Just so you know, I respect all religions and firmly believe it is your right to worship whoever and whatever you choose. I also firmly believe that one day my tongue will not be wedged so firmly in my cheek, and that one day I will return to the shamans of my tribe, and will return to them the spirit of the fire god Bashti that I stole and consumed and continue to use for my own amusement.

Cheers!
Kuke.
This message last edited by Kuke on 03/10/2011 at 11:15:39 AM
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Mormons CaptainHammer - 03/10/2011 05:46:10 AM 2363 Views
Questions. Kuke - 03/10/2011 11:13:25 AM 1117 Views
Ooh! Ooh! Kuke - 03/10/2011 11:18:38 AM 967 Views
I don't watch it. Gher - 04/10/2011 01:34:53 AM 972 Views
Re: Questions. CaptainHammer - 03/10/2011 01:28:28 PM 1078 Views
Re: Questions. CaptainHammer - 03/10/2011 01:31:13 PM 903 Views
I don't understand why they would be called drinks, if they were not meant to be drunk. aerocontrols - 03/10/2011 03:28:48 PM 1014 Views
Why did I look up what Quorn is? I didn't need to know that. *NM* beetnemesis - 03/10/2011 02:04:20 PM 628 Views
Wyld Stallyns!! aerocontrols - 03/10/2011 03:26:54 PM 903 Views
STATION! *NM* Two Wongs - 03/10/2011 11:00:35 PM 553 Views
Re: One of the best replies, ever, on the internet. *NM* Gaps - 06/10/2011 02:43:07 AM 601 Views
....did we just get door-to-door'd...ONLINE?!?! *NM* LadyLorraine - 03/10/2011 11:34:19 AM 573 Views
Nope. Gher - 04/10/2011 01:32:43 AM 957 Views
there's no real point to it LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 02:37:24 AM 1958 Views
We could use an evil cackling smilie, we do have some other evil ones Isaac - 04/10/2011 02:49:12 AM 924 Views
wasn't going to argue... *NM* LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 02:57:00 AM 546 Views
Do you ever giggle at the name "Moroni?" Ghavrel - 03/10/2011 11:39:55 AM 1024 Views
There are Mormon literalists? Seriously? *NM* Legolas - 03/10/2011 03:02:18 PM 564 Views
In fairness, I wonder the same about Christian literalists. *NM* Ghavrel - 03/10/2011 07:57:19 PM 575 Views
Yeah, but if you're gonna believe absurdities... Legolas - 03/10/2011 09:02:32 PM 1008 Views
Are you trying to suggest that "Reformed" or some other brand of scientology is plausible? Joel - 04/10/2011 04:28:40 PM 967 Views
Actually, no. It'd be like laughing at... Hosea. Or Nemeiah. It's just an old name. Gher - 04/10/2011 12:30:57 AM 921 Views
I know they don't have multiple wives anymore, so no misconception there ironclad - 03/10/2011 01:23:50 PM 950 Views
There are Fundamentalist "Mormons" who do... Danu - 03/10/2011 11:32:56 PM 883 Views
Don't get me wrong by the way, I've met wonderful Mormons ironclad - 04/10/2011 12:22:03 PM 922 Views
Question: Why are you such a faggot? *NM* Urza - 03/10/2011 02:23:45 PM 467 Views
Answer: because it's the only way he could return your burning love for him. Nate - 03/10/2011 03:24:23 PM 694 Views
Oh dont be such a fuddy duddy. Urza - 03/10/2011 10:42:06 PM 584 Views
Better a faggot than a fuckwad. Cheers fuckwad! *NM* everynametaken - 04/10/2011 01:27:20 AM 588 Views
Well, I suppose you'ld be the one to know. *NM* Urza - 04/10/2011 01:54:35 AM 525 Views
Really? You really just pulled a "takes one to know one"? *NM* Kronin al'Sulc - 04/10/2011 04:19:22 PM 618 Views
Re: You embarrass yourself. *NM* Gaps - 04/10/2011 01:56:02 AM 474 Views
I'll tell you whats embarresing... Urza - 04/10/2011 02:08:02 AM 798 Views
That is hilarious. Nate - 04/10/2011 03:10:50 AM 689 Views
Goodness.. Urza - 04/10/2011 03:20:30 AM 632 Views
Re: Nate - 04/10/2011 03:28:25 AM 664 Views
You know, my mother had a saying. Urza - 04/10/2011 03:39:32 AM 697 Views
I think it's safe to say ... Nate - 04/10/2011 04:09:17 AM 598 Views
I'm not sure which would be sadder... Legolas - 04/10/2011 11:32:55 AM 735 Views
*NM* ironclad - 04/10/2011 12:19:01 PM 562 Views
Re: You flatter me. *NM* Gaps - 04/10/2011 01:31:01 PM 583 Views
OK, you need to delete the "Re:" You're using it incorrectly beetnemesis - 04/10/2011 01:55:53 PM 609 Views
"Re" doesn't have to mean "reply", it can also mean "regarding". Legolas - 04/10/2011 02:01:31 PM 640 Views
Re: Re: Gaps - 04/10/2011 02:06:58 PM 638 Views
Re: Re: Stephen - 04/10/2011 02:12:57 PM 604 Views
Re: Also. Gaps - 04/10/2011 02:08:15 PM 649 Views
you are still using it incorrectly. *NM* LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 02:09:48 PM 596 Views
He's doing it on purpose though. Nate - 04/10/2011 03:31:39 PM 707 Views
Re: Yeah, it's just a shtick... Gaps - 04/10/2011 03:47:17 PM 605 Views
Those were the good old days. Nate - 04/10/2011 04:02:33 PM 634 Views
*NM* TaskmasterJack - 04/10/2011 10:02:30 PM 534 Views
I agree, it's driving me nuts *NM* ironclad - 04/10/2011 02:36:45 PM 524 Views
That's not quite right, actually. Nate - 04/10/2011 03:25:54 PM 549 Views
Disagree. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 04/10/2011 10:04:09 PM 560 Views
Considering that "CaptainHammer" is LDS, I'd rather doubt he's gay. Great Lord of Chaos - 04/10/2011 02:32:56 AM 599 Views
Re: Considering that "CaptainHammer" is LDS, I'd rather doubt he's gay. Urza - 04/10/2011 02:37:41 AM 621 Views
Heh. Oh, Ryan. Kronin al'Sulc - 04/10/2011 04:36:43 PM 714 Views
*sigh* to all of you above.... LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 03:06:21 AM 634 Views
I thought that was "Do not talk about /b/"? *NM* Great Lord of Chaos - 04/10/2011 03:12:52 AM 621 Views
i don't know, but if THAT is the first rule... LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 03:41:20 AM 577 Views
Please explain why you think we should consider you Christians. Tom - 03/10/2011 04:33:06 PM 1105 Views
you know, that does make me wonder though LadyLorraine - 03/10/2011 04:58:21 PM 997 Views
We're not as immovable as we are sometimes portrayed. Dannymac - 03/10/2011 05:27:17 PM 975 Views
"Even Christ didn't do that"? I can't agree. Legolas - 03/10/2011 09:00:34 PM 942 Views
I conceded your last point. Dannymac - 03/10/2011 10:14:28 PM 860 Views
Point of Anal Retentive Dissent: Joel - 04/10/2011 03:54:00 PM 880 Views
That concept is alien to the Christian theological understanding, however. Tom - 03/10/2011 10:18:55 PM 962 Views
I understand what both you and Danny are saying LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 12:19:57 AM 915 Views
Oh, that's very simple Tom - 04/10/2011 04:02:24 AM 925 Views
I honestly don't know what it would take. Dannymac - 04/10/2011 07:41:55 AM 943 Views
thank you, both of you LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 01:46:05 PM 929 Views
I love the Nicene Creed. It is such an excellent encapsulation. Rebekah - 03/10/2011 06:07:53 PM 1003 Views
Agreed. Joel - 04/10/2011 04:44:49 PM 889 Views
The absolute best part about your post (plus the best thing about Mo's/LDS's) Jeordam - 03/10/2011 09:02:17 PM 939 Views
Glad you enjoyed it Tom - 03/10/2011 10:10:39 PM 1048 Views
Though they can cause interesting changes in patterns. Dannymac - 03/10/2011 10:16:55 PM 948 Views
We believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior of all mankind, and the only way back to God. Gher - 04/10/2011 01:29:30 AM 1030 Views
If you think the Book of Mormon was well-written, there is really little left to discuss. Tom - 04/10/2011 03:57:08 AM 1189 Views
I never said well-written, I said complex. Gher - 04/10/2011 07:04:24 AM 1062 Views
Ignore facts all you want to. Tom - 05/10/2011 01:07:35 AM 965 Views
Re: If you think the Book of Mormon was well-written, there is really little left to discuss. CaptainHammer - 04/10/2011 07:24:27 AM 1169 Views
Woah nelly. Ghavrel - 04/10/2011 10:04:33 AM 983 Views
I have to "Wow" as well... racist much? LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 01:52:48 PM 899 Views
Re: I have to "Wow" as well... racist much? CaptainHammer - 04/10/2011 04:42:47 PM 991 Views
oh well that makes it all better... LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 04:54:14 PM 1014 Views
Exactly ironclad - 04/10/2011 06:00:54 PM 898 Views
Was the twin banging and the gay wedding the same event? Joel - 04/10/2011 06:36:03 PM 981 Views
Yikes. Even for religion, that's more than a little crazy. Nate - 04/10/2011 03:47:56 PM 986 Views
I don't think there's much of a difference in crazy as opposed to other more mainstream religions. Vivien - 04/10/2011 07:08:06 PM 963 Views
A difference exists if only in continued unabashed affirmation of a rather distasteful doctrine. Joel - 04/10/2011 11:06:51 PM 957 Views
Then why can't women be priests? Or enter the altar? The curse on Eve is very much in place. *NM* Aeryn - 05/10/2011 12:27:04 AM 524 Views
OK, within the Mormon context I can see that point. Joel - 05/10/2011 12:33:52 AM 883 Views
They can in quite a few denominations. *NM* Ghavrel - 05/10/2011 06:12:35 AM 580 Views
Whoops! You meant in LDS specifically. My mistake. *NM* Ghavrel - 05/10/2011 06:14:05 AM 542 Views
Right now I am not making an absolute statement but a relative one. Vivien - 05/10/2011 08:37:50 PM 765 Views
Yes, that is kind of the problem. Joel - 06/10/2011 12:13:27 AM 917 Views
Oh, you didn't know? Joe Smith said black people are cursed for following Satan. Tom - 05/10/2011 01:10:35 AM 931 Views
I guess this is a variation on Hams punishment; Ghav, at least should know better than to be shocked Joel - 04/10/2011 04:13:59 PM 879 Views
it's not that we're surprised because it's "novel" LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 04:19:16 PM 927 Views
It is not NECESSARILY racist. Joel - 04/10/2011 04:39:33 PM 941 Views
Sure, except ... Nate - 04/10/2011 04:50:53 PM 965 Views
Well, the funny thing is Christian doctrine presupposes everyone, along with their ancestors... Joel - 04/10/2011 06:31:13 PM 831 Views
Yeah, circular logic is fun, isn't it? Tom - 05/10/2011 01:09:25 AM 900 Views
It it is nigh impossible to be a "non-Nicene Christian." Joel - 04/10/2011 03:12:06 PM 974 Views
I think we've had this discussion before. Gher - 06/10/2011 05:54:39 PM 959 Views
Arianism is a bad comparison for arguing LDS=Christian. Joel - 06/10/2011 11:45:36 PM 847 Views
Wikipedia confirms what I already thought: you're off base with the monophysitism. Legolas - 07/10/2011 12:06:40 AM 1212 Views
I had not realized it was that late, but used it only as an example of multitudinous controversies. Joel - 07/10/2011 01:03:56 AM 1320 Views
Monophysites, miaphysites, monothelites, etc. certainly accept the consubstantiality of God/Christ Larry - 07/10/2011 11:58:05 AM 896 Views
Virtually everyone has a more sound Christology than Mormons. Tom - 07/10/2011 06:45:45 PM 959 Views
Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Joel - 08/10/2011 05:30:38 PM 974 Views
I can see that with the Monothelites (can see their appeal, in fact,) but not Monophysites. Joel - 07/10/2011 09:43:27 PM 871 Views
Tempting as it is to prove Joel wrong (since he so frequently is), I need to take issue with this. Tom - 07/10/2011 06:59:13 PM 954 Views
I was just saying there were competing views. Gher - 07/10/2011 07:49:26 PM 1330 Views
Oh, there were definitely competing views, just not competing Christian views. Joel - 07/10/2011 09:26:22 PM 853 Views
That sounds really nice. Vivien - 04/10/2011 06:38:29 PM 918 Views
Why wait though? Joel - 05/10/2011 12:12:21 AM 1101 Views
So that Vivien can avoid reading and thinking about the stuff that you just wrote. *NM* Aeryn - 05/10/2011 12:28:23 AM 510 Views
Ack, not reading and thinking111 Joel - 05/10/2011 12:36:11 AM 930 Views
I really want an answer from a mormon. Vivien - 05/10/2011 08:48:49 PM 947 Views
Good luck with that; just because I can see no explanation save that I offered does not preclude one Joel - 06/10/2011 07:03:50 AM 892 Views
Yeah, that's what I thought. Gher - 06/10/2011 05:43:57 PM 843 Views
I'm satisfied by that explanation. Vivien - 06/10/2011 08:51:15 PM 1093 Views
Re: I'm satisfied by that explanation. Gher - 07/10/2011 07:45:29 PM 939 Views
Oh no you idn't... *waves finger and weaves head* everynametaken - 04/10/2011 03:53:07 AM 768 Views
....i don't know what you look like LadyLorraine - 04/10/2011 03:54:56 AM 905 Views
Shoot, my Mick Jagger strut is way better than my angry hispanic girl head/finger bob and weave. *NM* everynametaken - 05/10/2011 04:58:53 AM 642 Views
Took the words right out of my mouth, repeatedly. Joel - 04/10/2011 12:49:13 PM 1097 Views
Off-Topic Larry - 05/10/2011 01:14:16 AM 894 Views
Hmm Tom - 05/10/2011 02:03:13 AM 1052 Views
True Larry - 05/10/2011 02:13:00 AM 852 Views
I think of Protestantism in terms similar to a Xerox copy. Tom - 05/10/2011 04:57:42 AM 957 Views
Maybe Xeroxes of abridged texts and dumbed down theology Larry - 06/10/2011 02:26:58 AM 1083 Views
I like that analogy - an echo chamber! *NM* Tom - 08/10/2011 10:44:04 PM 548 Views
Re: Off-Topic CaptainHammer - 05/10/2011 02:56:50 AM 1080 Views
Uhh... Larry - 05/10/2011 03:08:49 AM 899 Views
The people at the Nicene Council and the other councils were not prophets. CaptainHammer - 05/10/2011 04:59:50 AM 1007 Views
And you know that because... why, again? Joel - 05/10/2011 07:13:53 AM 926 Views
Tough Crowd. Dannymac - 03/10/2011 04:44:31 PM 1045 Views
No questions. Have a nice day. TaskmasterJack - 03/10/2011 11:40:58 PM 904 Views
Why don't they have anything approaching a formal theology? *NM* Dan - 04/10/2011 03:58:16 AM 635 Views
Re: Why don't they have anything approaching a formal theology? CaptainHammer - 04/10/2011 05:23:12 PM 1004 Views
Danny is right, it is a pretty tough crowd, but better tough than weak and whitewashed. everynametaken - 04/10/2011 04:02:16 AM 918 Views
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