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My Rooster has learned Kung Fu. Avendesora Send a noteboard - 26/09/2011 04:21:53 PM
On Saturday, while my husband squatted down to pet the hens and fed them tomatoes, the rooster stood about 10 feet away- giving him the hairy eyeball the entire time. My husband stood up and turned to walk away. He then felt something on the back of his leg, like someone had kicked a soccer ball and it hit him in the calf. He turned to find the rooster glaring up at him. He shoved him away (not too hard) by putting the bottom of his boot on General Tso's chest.

Sunday, I heard a commotion in the coop so I went to check the nest boxes. 1 little egg! Yay! I turned to exit, and I saw the General sillhouette in the doorway, and he was glaring me down. I returned the manacing glare and said, "Hey. I'm coming through now. Your ass is moving OUT of my way." He moved aside and I passed by. As I was walking away, (they like to attack when your back is turned) I heard chicken footsteps running towards me. I turned to face him, and he stopped and looked around. Like, "la la laaa... I'm not doing anything, we have nice trees around here, don't we?" About this time I start hearing flamenco guitar in my head. I squinted at him Clint Eastwod style, picked up a dead tree limb, showed it to him, and turned to walk away again. Almost instantly I heard the feet moving at me. I turned around and jabbed at him (just to scare him) with the wide end of the tree limb. He jumped 3 feet straight up in the air. I swiped my makeshift quarterstaff to the left, he hopped over it and ran away. This time I turned to walk away and heard no footsteps.

That afternoon, my son had a friend over and they played outside for a few hours. My son, husband, and I walked the friend and his mother to their car. We said our goodbyes. Hubby and I walked toward the house, and the visitors walked to their car. Just a few steps later, we heard my son yelling in the direction of the chicken coop. I immediately thought, "that damn rooster is after him". Sure enough, we turned to see my son running and yelling, with the rooster hot on his heels, trying to peck at him. My husband booted him away, and I tried to calm my boy down. He was so upset! The same child who just two days before said, "I hope our chickens are for eggs, not for meat- I don't want to eat my chickens..." was now yelling, "That jerk of a rooster came after me! He attacked me and flapped my legs with his wings! It really hurt! COOK HIM FOR STEW!!"

It's a good thing the general doesn't yet have his spurs. Puncture wounds are no joke. I checked my son over, and there were only emotional wounds. Right now this rooster is just trying to be menacing and show his dominance. We are going to try some dominance therapy and see what happens. This involves embarrassing him in front of his girls. I have to grab him and hold his beak to the ground, and discourage his mating attemps in our presence. I can do this without hurting him, and he may calm down before his spurs grow in. But if he doesn't...

Anyone want a free rooster? :P
*MySmiley*

I believe all news and research that supports my opinion, and dismiss the rest as conspiracy and lies.
An updated photo of the General.
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My Rooster has learned Kung Fu. - 26/09/2011 04:21:53 PM 590 Views
wrong sn... oops. - 26/09/2011 05:57:10 PM 541 Views
Sorry, I've already got too many roosters of my own! - 26/09/2011 06:01:02 PM 509 Views
Yeah, that's the plan. - 26/09/2011 06:37:49 PM 535 Views
take the kids advice and eat him - 26/09/2011 06:03:49 PM 462 Views
All the hens are well-behaved. - 26/09/2011 07:04:36 PM 450 Views
Why must you women constantly try to emasculate us? - 26/09/2011 06:16:43 PM 600 Views
The likelihood of him harming one of use before his spurs grow in are minimal. - 26/09/2011 07:06:15 PM 405 Views
my mean rooster has developed spurs... - 28/09/2011 08:46:34 PM 460 Views
Cock Fu? Dangerous. - 03/10/2011 10:28:11 PM 412 Views

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