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Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM
It might mean more to him not to have to go than it does to her to have him go (if that makes sense)

It made sense to me. ;)


Oh good :D

My only question there is if it was so important to him to not go, why didn't he say so instead of going with the cop-out "I'll think about it" line? Would you not be more willing to accept an honest answer you didn't like than for your husband to try and dodge the bullet entirely? I know my wife would, with me.


I would absolutely prefer it. But if every time I got an honest answer I went all screeching-howler-monkey on him about it, I couldn't really blame him for trying to avoid that while still not committing to doing something he really didn't want to do.

I have a feeling I'm getting too involved with this discussion, though: as you said, only the man and his wife truly know the status of their relationship. But on the other hand, I'm surrounded by middle-aged female co-workers who gripe about their husbands all the time, and how clueless they typically are. ;) :P


Ugh, I can't stand husband bashing (or wife bashing for that matter, but the former seems much more common). I always have to bite back the "if he's that awful why on earth are you staying with him" response because I understand it's a typical female social bonding exercise. It's just one I abhor and refuse to participate in.
If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? Helene - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1802 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... Urza - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 957 Views
Fair enough Helene - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 910 Views
Not all inlaws are bad, you know, I prefer some of my inlaws to my own family. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:56:03 PM 446 Views
inlaws are not always bad random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 873 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 863 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* Clover - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 423 Views
I think they are right ironclad - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1088 Views
I see your point Helene - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1041 Views
Re: I think they are right Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 919 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 846 Views
What he said about his wife's mother Helene - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1013 Views
Ew. I would have a problem with that too. Something about that attitude makes me dig in my heels. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:37:38 AM 769 Views
No offense... ironclad - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 998 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 920 Views
For now I have *NM* ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 459 Views
how long has it been? *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 434 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism ironclad - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 864 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 425 Views
Yes. But it didn't start out like that. Took years to chip away all our rough edges. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:40:29 AM 945 Views
Could be either snoopcester - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 958 Views
True enough... Helene - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 938 Views
My opinion is the latter. Macharius - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 942 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 918 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Macharius - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 882 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations snoopcester - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1020 Views
I should have read this first. Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 964 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations Sareitha Sedai - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 931 Views
You don't strike me as the "screeching-howler-monkey" type to begin with. *NM* Macharius - 19/04/2011 03:33:41 PM 429 Views
I love just about everything about you Sareitha. Good answers all. *NM* Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:26:34 AM 397 Views
I translated "I will think about it" as a secret but obvious code for. "I don't really want to but Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:34:36 AM 1042 Views
that's what I would have meant if I said "I'll think about it" *NM* LadyLorraine - 20/04/2011 02:00:33 AM 403 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot random thoughts - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1024 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have Helene - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 875 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married random thoughts - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 917 Views
How did things change? Helene - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 929 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself random thoughts - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 936 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us Helene - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 862 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 974 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself random thoughts - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 904 Views
I know. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1138 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. random thoughts - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1378 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 414 Views
Re: The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot Tihs Tnuc - 19/04/2011 04:34:34 PM 834 Views
From the information that you have presented... Jeordam - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1070 Views
I am in agreement with you, and I'm not particularly Christian. Helene - 19/04/2011 04:11:57 PM 855 Views
Which is sad (not the agreement, but their potential future) Jeordam - 19/04/2011 06:29:47 PM 929 Views
Oh yes... I'm of course not sure. I can be way off base :-) Let's hope I am. Helene - 19/04/2011 06:55:13 PM 898 Views
Could go either way. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 873 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa Helene - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 875 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. Dannymac - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 833 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife Helene - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 800 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. Clover - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 862 Views
I think you are 100% right about having a good realtionship with your spouse's family random thoughts - 19/04/2011 05:07:12 PM 874 Views
I think this is about priorities. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1019 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. Clover - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 863 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. rebelaessedai - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 769 Views
*nods* Clover - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 945 Views
rebelaessedai - 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1150 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. Palatine - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 917 Views
I think it's impossible for me to judge their future status without knowing more about them LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 07:22:32 PM 885 Views
Can't tell. nossy - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 836 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. Antigone - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1143 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all LadyLorraine - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 854 Views
What you said in the original question wouldn't neccessarily mean much to me either way. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 01:56:55 AM 871 Views
It's not all out "she's worthless", it's more like "she's a bit silly with all her wishes" Helene - 20/04/2011 08:46:49 AM 857 Views
That would still be a deal breaker for me. Tashmere - 20/04/2011 11:49:09 PM 865 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* TaskmasterJack - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 390 Views
I don't know. *NM* (I feel bad for the 20 people who viewed this message- my apologies) Vivien - 20/04/2011 04:36:13 AM 915 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* Camilla - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 439 Views
*sigh* Yunalesca - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 980 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* Gaps - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 381 Views
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