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I think that's an unfair assumption. Sareitha Sedai Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM
To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway? She wants to see her mum, let her. He doesn't, so he can stay watch football. I think they handle it well. At least if she doesn't really hold a grudge and as long as there are instances where he does indeed go out of his way to please her.


There is a difference between "an afternoon at mum's", and "Easter Sunday dinner". If I were to decline a holiday dinner like that with my wife, there would be Hell to pay because holiday dinners are important to her. I don't know if that's the case with this guy's wife or not - but I'd assume it would be or she wouldn't have asked in the first place.


We just don't have enough information to make that determination. The mother could be horrible. They could already spend tons of time over there. Easter might not mean anything to him. Or yes, he could just be an asshat. But then I'd say he was probably an asshat when she married him, and she picked him anyway :P

There are definitely things I ask my husband to do with me that I expect he'll say no to (and vice versa), but we still ask each other because every once in awhile the answer is yes. Whatever this wife's reason for not pursuing the argument about it, it's more likely a positive sign for the relationship than a negative one. We can argue and beg and wheedle and cajole and manipulate and attempt to influence and control as much as we want, but in the end we can't make anyone do anything. Not getting into another repetitive fight about it shows acceptance on her part and prevents further damage to the relationship from the fighting.

If you are from Betelgeuse, please have one of your Earth friends read what I've written before you respond. Or try concentrating harder.

"The trophy problem has become extreme."
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1802 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 957 Views
Fair enough - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 910 Views
inlaws are not always bad - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 873 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 863 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 423 Views
I think they are right - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1088 Views
I see your point - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1041 Views
Re: I think they are right - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 919 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 847 Views
What he said about his wife's mother - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1013 Views
No offense... - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 998 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 920 Views
For now I have *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 459 Views
how long has it been? *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 434 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 864 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 425 Views
Could be either - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 958 Views
True enough... - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 938 Views
My opinion is the latter. - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 942 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 918 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 882 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1020 Views
I should have read this first. - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 964 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 931 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1024 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 875 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 917 Views
How did things change? - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 929 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 936 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 862 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 974 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 904 Views
I know. - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1138 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1378 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 414 Views
From the information that you have presented... - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1070 Views
Could go either way. - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 873 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 875 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 833 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 800 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 862 Views
I think this is about priorities. - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1019 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 863 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 769 Views
*nods* - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 945 Views
- 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1150 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 918 Views
Can't tell. - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 836 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1143 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 854 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 390 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 439 Views
*sigh* - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 980 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 381 Views

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