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I see your point Helene Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM
They've given up on the little, pointless arguments about making the other one do something they have no interest in doing.


I don't think there's any sense in having pointless arguments. However, I think that spending a holiday with a relative doesn't necessarily fall into a category of complete meaninglessness. That's more like arguing over not putting on the toothpaste cap, or who should take out the trash. Of course, we'd probably have to know how the question was asked. E.g. she could have said: "I'm going to my mum's for Easter, want to come along?" Which is very different from the scenario I'm envisioning. And of course, we're not even thinking about the mum herself. She might be a right horror.

Of course a relationship also consist of compromises and doing things for each other, as you say. Maybe this just isn't the best example. I am sure he does plenty of things for her he doesn't feel like doing.


Admittedly, I get the impression that he doesn't go out of his way to do nice things for her, that would make her feel appreciated and special. He generally speaks of her in a slightly condescending way.

To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway?


I don't recall saying that couples need to do everything together? I think that's unhealthy. But there's a difference between doing things separately, and not doing something together your partner has asked you to do together.
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1807 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 963 Views
Fair enough - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 913 Views
inlaws are not always bad - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 876 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 865 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 424 Views
I think they are right - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1092 Views
I see your point - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1043 Views
Re: I think they are right - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 922 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 851 Views
What he said about his wife's mother - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1018 Views
No offense... - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 1003 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 924 Views
For now I have *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 460 Views
how long has it been? *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 435 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 869 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 428 Views
Could be either - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 965 Views
True enough... - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 942 Views
My opinion is the latter. - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 949 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 921 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 885 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1024 Views
I should have read this first. - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 968 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 934 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1027 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 879 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 923 Views
How did things change? - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 934 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 938 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 868 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 978 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 910 Views
I know. - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1143 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1381 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 415 Views
From the information that you have presented... - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1072 Views
Could go either way. - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 877 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 882 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 836 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 802 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 865 Views
I think this is about priorities. - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1020 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 867 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 771 Views
*nods* - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 951 Views
- 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1156 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 921 Views
Can't tell. - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 839 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1147 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 859 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 391 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 440 Views
*sigh* - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 985 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 383 Views

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