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I see your point Helene Send a noteboard - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM
They've given up on the little, pointless arguments about making the other one do something they have no interest in doing.


I don't think there's any sense in having pointless arguments. However, I think that spending a holiday with a relative doesn't necessarily fall into a category of complete meaninglessness. That's more like arguing over not putting on the toothpaste cap, or who should take out the trash. Of course, we'd probably have to know how the question was asked. E.g. she could have said: "I'm going to my mum's for Easter, want to come along?" Which is very different from the scenario I'm envisioning. And of course, we're not even thinking about the mum herself. She might be a right horror.

Of course a relationship also consist of compromises and doing things for each other, as you say. Maybe this just isn't the best example. I am sure he does plenty of things for her he doesn't feel like doing.


Admittedly, I get the impression that he doesn't go out of his way to do nice things for her, that would make her feel appreciated and special. He generally speaks of her in a slightly condescending way.

To stick to this example, why would couples have to do everything together anyway?


I don't recall saying that couples need to do everything together? I think that's unhealthy. But there's a difference between doing things separately, and not doing something together your partner has asked you to do together.
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Relationship - positive development or signs of eventual break down? - 19/04/2011 08:48:26 AM 1801 Views
Helene, I want to give you an answer but... - 19/04/2011 08:58:45 AM 957 Views
Fair enough - 19/04/2011 10:01:51 AM 910 Views
inlaws are not always bad - 19/04/2011 02:10:18 PM 873 Views
I spend way more time with my in-laws than with my own family. - 19/04/2011 02:17:41 PM 863 Views
I'm like this with my future in-laws too. *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:47:05 PM 423 Views
I think they are right - 19/04/2011 10:20:39 AM 1086 Views
I see your point - 19/04/2011 10:42:51 AM 1041 Views
Re: I think they are right - 19/04/2011 01:59:57 PM 918 Views
I think that's an unfair assumption. - 19/04/2011 02:16:54 PM 846 Views
What he said about his wife's mother - 19/04/2011 02:59:32 PM 1012 Views
No offense... - 19/04/2011 02:35:53 PM 997 Views
yes but have you found such a thing? - 19/04/2011 03:05:35 PM 919 Views
For now I have *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:08:17 PM 459 Views
how long has it been? *NM* - 19/04/2011 03:16:32 PM 434 Views
Don't try to corrupt me with your long term pessimism - 19/04/2011 03:34:39 PM 864 Views
sadly I seem attracted to the crazies *NM* - 19/04/2011 04:08:14 PM 425 Views
Could be either - 19/04/2011 10:30:50 AM 958 Views
True enough... - 19/04/2011 10:44:28 AM 938 Views
My opinion is the latter. - 19/04/2011 01:55:00 PM 942 Views
He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 01:56:49 PM 917 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:07:34 PM 882 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:13:25 PM 1020 Views
I should have read this first. - 19/04/2011 02:25:16 PM 964 Views
Re: He definitely has a point about realistic expectations - 19/04/2011 02:23:14 PM 930 Views
The fact that you are referring to a fiancé and comparing it to wife says a lot - 19/04/2011 02:09:27 PM 1024 Views
To be fair, me and my fiance have been together for about as long as they have - 19/04/2011 02:57:03 PM 875 Views
I don't know about everyone but things changed when we got married - 19/04/2011 03:16:11 PM 916 Views
How did things change? - 19/04/2011 04:14:56 PM 929 Views
Like I said I can only speak for myself - 19/04/2011 04:54:04 PM 935 Views
There's already a 10 year old in the picture for us - 19/04/2011 06:52:44 PM 862 Views
My husband and I don't understand why people say this. - 20/04/2011 01:03:31 AM 973 Views
I did say I was only speaking for myself - 20/04/2011 01:58:45 PM 902 Views
I know. - 20/04/2011 09:01:11 PM 1136 Views
Sorry for some reason I thought you had just got married. - 20/04/2011 09:52:24 PM 1377 Views
Good luck to them! *NM* - 22/04/2011 04:25:38 AM 414 Views
From the information that you have presented... - 19/04/2011 03:50:19 PM 1069 Views
Could go either way. - 19/04/2011 04:36:02 PM 872 Views
I get the impression that it's more about her forming toward him than vice versa - 19/04/2011 06:56:37 PM 875 Views
Giving up is one thing, growing past is another. - 19/04/2011 10:00:55 PM 833 Views
Oh, to be fair, he's the friend and she's the wife - 20/04/2011 08:43:12 AM 799 Views
I don't necessarily think it will end in a breakup or divorce. - 19/04/2011 04:44:11 PM 861 Views
I think this is about priorities. - 20/04/2011 01:07:20 AM 1019 Views
Our priorities may shift over time, too. We're still very young and more tied to our families. - 20/04/2011 03:09:54 AM 863 Views
Even when younger, I was independent. - 20/04/2011 05:29:59 AM 768 Views
*nods* - 20/04/2011 06:25:29 AM 944 Views
- 22/04/2011 04:29:32 AM 1150 Views
Not the former for sure, and maybe not the latter. - 19/04/2011 05:55:03 PM 917 Views
Can't tell. - 19/04/2011 10:04:27 PM 836 Views
I'm with the 'can't tell' crowd. - 19/04/2011 11:37:17 PM 1143 Views
hell, or she could just not care too much at all - 19/04/2011 11:43:21 PM 854 Views
I'm leaning more towards your interpretation. *NM* - 20/04/2011 02:15:22 AM 390 Views
I'm with you on this. *NM* - 20/04/2011 10:00:41 AM 439 Views
*sigh* - 20/04/2011 09:25:02 PM 979 Views
Re: I mean, it's not good. *NM* - 20/04/2011 11:50:21 PM 381 Views

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