She wants to take this holy month of Ramadan coming up to think and pray about us. It will either be we move on together or apart. Because once we come out there will be MEGA drama!
I can't claim to be very familiar with the Pakistani culture in the US, or for that matter Pakistani culture in Europe, but in Islamic and Southern Asian (i.e. India/Pakistan/Bangladesh) cultures, I can see how there'd be drama when a girl wants to marry an outsider. Must be sort of scary, not just the drama but the uncertainty if she dares to take that step... I hope it all works out well!
There is so much fear and uncertainty....I am in the same situation. In general, Indian/Pakistani culture includes children relying on their parents for so much more and for so much longer than in western culture. That reliance carries over past marriage as well. So if one of us makes the decision to marry an outsider, it is SO different from what culture is used to. It's scary for both the child and the parents. And that fear on the part of the parents is what is usually the basis for conflict.
The women in my girlfriend's culture are very judgemental
Yes, status is pretty much the same. My mom is from India and my dad is from Pakistan, but they come from the exact same types of families culture-wise, same attitudes and all. The main difference between Indian and Pakistani culture comes when you take into account religions. The majority of Pakistani's are Muslims, whereas the majority in India are Hindus or Sikhs, so sometimes particular cultural differences are actually religious differences.
About women being judgmental, I think that's a general cultural thing, lol. I have the same in my family. Some more so than others, but it's still there.
One thing that bothers me is the cultural over-concern about how others will view you or think of you. For my parents, one of their biggest concerns/arguments is "What will the other relatives think?" Like, who cares! They probably won't even think anything bad! They'll think worse if you cause drama about the situation and make it public! If you are accepting, they shouldn't have any reason to think badly!
Sorry for the mini rant, but it's very frustrating.
That's exactly what my girlfriend is going through. Her mom says she will kill herself if she marries a white boy. Now that's drama!
My mom as well!
formerly known as Daughter OfThe Nine Moons
I need some advice on learning a language
11/08/2010 05:27:52 PM
- 666 Views
For the amount of money that the Rosetta Stone software costs...
11/08/2010 05:35:37 PM
- 558 Views
Haha not quite; Texas. Also why I was so surprised *NM*
11/08/2010 05:44:28 PM
- 230 Views
It shouldn't be too hard to find a book + CD you can learn from. Why is software so important? *NM*
11/08/2010 05:38:48 PM
- 271 Views
Because my free time consists of 2 hours before bed *NM*
11/08/2010 05:45:16 PM
- 223 Views
Yeah, it would be silly to waste your time on Devanagari when you need to learn the Arabic alphabet.
11/08/2010 05:48:22 PM
- 578 Views
Hindi is pretty much the same as Urdu speaking wise....
11/08/2010 06:17:50 PM
- 597 Views
My girlfriend has family in Canada...
11/08/2010 06:23:35 PM
- 515 Views
Seems like after two years, it might be time to let her family know about you... *NM*
11/08/2010 06:43:55 PM
- 235 Views
We're about at that point
11/08/2010 06:48:42 PM
- 459 Views
That makes sense, yes.
11/08/2010 06:52:53 PM
- 512 Views
I know the fear, yes
11/08/2010 07:41:16 PM
- 563 Views
Is your status in society the same in Indian culture as it is in Pakistani culture?
11/08/2010 07:46:48 PM
- 567 Views
Re: Is your status in society the same in Indian culture as it is in Pakistani culture?
11/08/2010 08:01:44 PM
- 589 Views
Rant all you want!
11/08/2010 08:18:54 PM
- 434 Views
Oh my goodness....
11/08/2010 08:21:16 PM
- 668 Views
I have family in Texas, lol
11/08/2010 06:50:25 PM
- 509 Views
A kindred spirit!
11/08/2010 07:06:25 PM
- 577 Views
Re: A kindred spirit!
11/08/2010 07:15:50 PM
- 501 Views
Wow I'm not alone!
11/08/2010 07:27:02 PM
- 529 Views
You are right,
11/08/2010 07:37:15 PM
- 562 Views
There are like half a dozen movies about that topic... safe to say you're not alone. *NM*
11/08/2010 08:06:30 PM
- 217 Views
The clash between new generation and old makes for some good movie material *NM*
11/08/2010 08:20:40 PM
- 243 Views
I think you're missing the important thing here. Why does she want you to learn it? *NM*
11/08/2010 06:32:58 PM
- 219 Views
Because she speaks to her family/friends in her language and doesnt want me left out
11/08/2010 06:38:00 PM
- 506 Views
Okay, but none of them speak English? *NM*
11/08/2010 06:42:25 PM
- 229 Views
Yes but its really a cultural thing
11/08/2010 06:46:01 PM
- 491 Views
My advice
11/08/2010 07:28:39 PM
- 768 Views
You too, huh?
11/08/2010 08:07:44 PM
- 523 Views
Fuck Rosetta Stone unless you're a complete dumbass at languages.
12/08/2010 03:29:15 AM
- 503 Views
Good luck and God bless.
12/08/2010 11:50:18 AM
- 460 Views