Danae-Log: So. What makes life worth living?
Danae al'Thor Send a noteboard - 08/05/2010 05:04:26 PM
No, really. Why do we, you, I, stick around? Love? Sex? Hugsies from Mommy? Money? Books? LSD? Babies? Duty?
I don't want to be talked out of committing suicide, mostly because I'm not committing suicide. But I am alive today mostly because of some vague principle that dying is probably worse than all this, my parents and brother would be sad, and I'm in therapy so that I don't commit suicide. So far as results go, it's working.
But over the last few months, I gotta tell you. I don't see the point. It's just going to be more of this... this struggle. Day after day. Why am I doing this? Obviously I'm missing something. Something that makes life "worth living" in a concrete sense, not just in this vague amorphous way.
What am I missing? I've been told to "cheer up" and the only reason I'm not happy is that I'm "not trying". It's like I "want to be miserable". And I look at my little white pills that help me get out of bed in the morning, at my very nice therapist who tells me not to be so angry at myself for not being happy or accomplished or okay... I don't know how to do this "trying" or "doing" or "cheerying".
So. If you feel up to it, if you want to, if you feel like it. Share your joy with me, for a bit, please?
I don't want to be talked out of committing suicide, mostly because I'm not committing suicide. But I am alive today mostly because of some vague principle that dying is probably worse than all this, my parents and brother would be sad, and I'm in therapy so that I don't commit suicide. So far as results go, it's working.
But over the last few months, I gotta tell you. I don't see the point. It's just going to be more of this... this struggle. Day after day. Why am I doing this? Obviously I'm missing something. Something that makes life "worth living" in a concrete sense, not just in this vague amorphous way.
What am I missing? I've been told to "cheer up" and the only reason I'm not happy is that I'm "not trying". It's like I "want to be miserable". And I look at my little white pills that help me get out of bed in the morning, at my very nice therapist who tells me not to be so angry at myself for not being happy or accomplished or okay... I don't know how to do this "trying" or "doing" or "cheerying".
So. If you feel up to it, if you want to, if you feel like it. Share your joy with me, for a bit, please?
http://coolingpearls.wordpress.com/
http://uncategoricallyroh.wordpress.com/
http://whaq.blogspot.com/
~Roh
http://uncategoricallyroh.wordpress.com/
http://whaq.blogspot.com/
~Roh
This message last edited by Danae al'Thor on 08/05/2010 at 06:31:51 PM
Danae-Log: So. What makes life worth living?
08/05/2010 05:04:26 PM
- 1525 Views
The good bits
08/05/2010 05:17:37 PM
- 1142 Views
Re: There are cannibals out there who believe(d) that if you ate bits of your enemy/someone,
08/05/2010 05:24:16 PM
- 1016 Views
Re: There are cannibals out there who believe(d) that if you ate bits of your enemy/someone,
08/05/2010 05:27:27 PM
- 959 Views
Re: It's because the muscles haven't gotten all developed and stringy yet.
08/05/2010 05:28:44 PM
- 1069 Views
Re: It's because the muscles haven't gotten all developed and stringy yet.
08/05/2010 05:30:42 PM
- 901 Views
Re: I think lots of us had pre-construed that anyway. Sorry.
08/05/2010 05:35:16 PM
- 1020 Views
Try meditation. Just breathing exercises and relaxation.
08/05/2010 05:24:34 PM
- 1091 Views
Re: Um, I meditate. And I manage quote fine without CDs to do it. *NM*
08/05/2010 05:27:28 PM
- 614 Views
I would posit you're not doing a good job if you're considering suicide. *NM*
09/05/2010 04:39:05 AM
- 612 Views
Re: I'm not considering suicide! It says so in my post! I'm so annoyed with people who assume I am!
09/05/2010 05:23:37 AM
- 1082 Views
Why do you need to affirmatively say you're not considering suicide, then?
09/05/2010 05:41:50 AM
- 1095 Views
Re: Because I wanted to make clear my problem, and ask for a little help that wasn't about fixing me
09/05/2010 05:50:27 AM
- 1034 Views
I can only think of one reason
08/05/2010 06:43:11 PM
- 1157 Views
Frankly, I agree, but it's not something of which people can be really be "convinced. "
12/05/2010 12:43:29 AM
- 1134 Views
No
12/05/2010 12:53:42 AM
- 1040 Views
Oh, I totally agree.
12/05/2010 01:05:29 AM
- 947 Views
Ah, so you used "convinced" as a verb and not as a participle *NM*
12/05/2010 09:30:59 AM
- 594 Views
personally
08/05/2010 06:45:45 PM
- 1016 Views
That's an insanely hard question Danae
08/05/2010 08:53:06 PM
- 1115 Views
Re:
08/05/2010 08:58:50 PM
- 1183 Views
Ah, I see
08/05/2010 09:19:22 PM
- 1052 Views
So what makes you think death is any better? *NM*
08/05/2010 09:11:46 PM
- 565 Views
Re: Um, since I am not contemplating suicide, it's not an issue.
08/05/2010 09:16:39 PM
- 1117 Views
No easy answer.
08/05/2010 09:26:52 PM
- 847 Views
Re: Dude, my new pills have cured my insomnia, it is awesome. I'd forgotten about that.
08/05/2010 09:28:54 PM
- 996 Views
I just wanna know what's next, 'cause it tends to be baffling.
08/05/2010 10:18:16 PM
- 1119 Views
Re: Do you believe in reincarnation? You might be able to! *NM*
09/05/2010 05:24:17 AM
- 480 Views
That would be way awesome.
09/05/2010 11:53:40 PM
- 1072 Views
Re: I haven't read it. Or heard of it. Let us know what it's like! *NM*
10/05/2010 08:36:41 AM
- 620 Views
Experience
08/05/2010 10:44:08 PM
- 1115 Views
I'm fairly certain there isn't some magic "thing."
08/05/2010 10:45:34 PM
- 952 Views
Because I can't be world dictator if I am dead
08/05/2010 10:47:37 PM
- 944 Views
Re: I think it's a RAFOnaut thing, to want to be world dictator.
09/05/2010 05:28:01 AM
- 1048 Views
Helping other people. *NM*
08/05/2010 10:51:28 PM
- 481 Views
Can't help you there.
08/05/2010 11:22:01 PM
- 988 Views
Some days it just boils down to duty.
09/05/2010 12:52:06 AM
- 1115 Views
Re: The no expectations thing is HARD. To do on a moment-to-moment basis.
09/05/2010 05:43:00 AM
- 1076 Views
I was in a slightly bleak mood when I wrote the first reply. I need to amend it.
13/05/2010 12:59:09 AM
- 1151 Views
That there will be a sixth season of Supernatural?
09/05/2010 06:30:34 AM
- 1077 Views
Re: I actually haven't watched anything since xxx released ddd and told aaa he'd say ssss.
09/05/2010 10:28:03 AM
- 881 Views
love, connection with others, the awe of being alive in the world
09/05/2010 07:17:34 AM
- 877 Views
Whatever you decide it does
09/05/2010 10:17:09 AM
- 996 Views
Yep, it's one of those clips that makes you think mankind isn't that bad after all *NM*
11/05/2010 09:20:38 AM
- 570 Views
The small things.
09/05/2010 10:45:46 AM
- 1096 Views
Re: Dammit, Rebekah, now I have a song playing in my head.
09/05/2010 11:06:46 AM
- 846 Views
Carnal bliss, hydrocodone and brownies
09/05/2010 10:47:24 AM
- 1131 Views
I stick around for updates to the Danae-Log!
10/05/2010 12:14:43 PM
- 1100 Views
Re: Dude.
10/05/2010 04:44:24 PM
- 909 Views
Heh. click the link.
10/05/2010 05:45:53 PM
- 1053 Views