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I think those shifts are part of the character, not something unintentional Larry Send a noteboard - 27/05/2014 06:08:44 AM

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is it just me, or is the aside about "Khanoom" meaning "lady" in Persian extremely awkward? Actually, both parts of that parenthesis are really awkward if you ask me - that "Khanoom" refers to his mother is obvious enough, and the meaning of her (nick)name can wait until a more convenient occasion for explaining it comes along, surely? Not sure the "exactly once" makes much sense to me, either. And then there's a couple of things I don't even get - "least visited whim"? "But a child like that, sure"?

I'm actually inclined to say that paragraph is an interesting mix of really good writing and really not-so-good writing.


Here's what I said about it yesterday:


Knowing beforehand that this is a modern take on a millennia-old Persian poem on a legendary fighter, what struck me was Khakpour's use of digressions to stretch out the "problem" of her newborn son, as it made me more curious about the events leading up to his untimely birth than I otherwise would have been if she had written this in a more straightforward fashion.

I think Khakpour is intentionally developing a stammering, babbling narrative PoV in order to draw readers into her adaptation of an old Persian tale, so by using the "Khanoom" title/nickname in such a fashion, she is doing two things: defining the term for Anglo-Americans and showing how this character is a babbler. Such digressions are normal when we, especially when nervous, speak of the familiar to those who are strangers to it, so I think it adds to the narrative, instead of detracting.

As for the "exactly once," it's a play off of the Anglo-American fairy tale opening of "once upon a time," but inverting it by making it quite clear just how unusual this tale is in comparison to the standard fairy tale fare. As for "least visited whim," I suspect that's a purposely stilted way for an unusual character (I know a bit of his backstory now and let's just say that language, at least of the human variety, is not native to him) to explain why his mother didn't like conjugal sex. The "but a child like that, sure" references what comes in the paragraphs that follow the ones I quote: this is a very unusual-looking narrator and his childhood experiences even more so.

Perhaps with this knowledge, the prose takes on a different quality? It certainly is effective in setting up what follows after and that is why I quoted what I did, to see how the limited sample would appeal/not appeal to those who can't yet read the rest of the text.

Illusions fall like the husk of a fruit, one after another, and the fruit is experience. - Narrator, Sylvie

Je suis méchant.
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Friendly challenge to Larry and other literary "snobs" on the board..... - 25/05/2014 06:44:34 PM 1124 Views
As it happens, I wrote an example last year. - 25/05/2014 07:13:41 PM 1099 Views
Nice *NM* - 27/05/2014 02:43:53 AM 475 Views
Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit? - 26/05/2014 04:57:18 AM 1106 Views
Re: Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit? - 26/05/2014 09:10:31 PM 1042 Views
I really should read Irving, I see - 27/05/2014 06:10:50 AM 967 Views
Re: I really should read Irving, I see - 28/05/2014 03:01:24 AM 960 Views
Promising opening paragraph, yes, but... - 26/05/2014 10:55:16 PM 860 Views
I think those shifts are part of the character, not something unintentional - 27/05/2014 06:08:44 AM 879 Views
So bad prose is okay if it is intentional? *NM* - 27/05/2014 03:54:34 PM 433 Views
Okay, I do of course miss the perspective of what comes after. - 27/05/2014 06:29:33 PM 778 Views
I proudly claim the title of literary snob, and will provide you with a quick, unscientific example. - 26/05/2014 08:15:04 PM 978 Views
LOL! - 26/05/2014 10:03:50 PM 1093 Views
Huh. Lana Del Rey quotes Nabokov... I had not made that connection. - 26/05/2014 11:17:47 PM 1079 Views
That quote from Lolita sounds like it is from a romance novel with Fabio on the cover. - 27/05/2014 03:40:37 AM 886 Views
Bah! - 27/05/2014 07:50:15 PM 938 Views
Alloy of Law was great *NM* - 28/05/2014 08:16:26 PM 449 Views
Hell Yeah! *NM* - 28/05/2014 08:36:40 PM 429 Views
The audiobook was pretty great, as well. *NM* - 29/05/2014 09:19:07 PM 467 Views

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