I have no problem with BS' dialogue in your example.
Anonymous2000 Send a noteboard - 27/05/2014 03:52:27 AM
I actually had to read it 3 times to even get your point. The "he said" or "she mentioned" portion of dialogue normally doesn't even register with me. I am too focused on the conversation itself to care much (that is what is critical to the story, not the dialogue "format"
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Friendly challenge to Larry and other literary "snobs" on the board.....
- 25/05/2014 06:44:34 PM
1129 Views
As it happens, I wrote an example last year.
- 25/05/2014 07:13:41 PM
1105 Views
I have no problem with BS' dialogue in your example.
- 27/05/2014 03:52:27 AM
927 Views
Right, but we've already established you don't really care about writing.
- 27/05/2014 04:05:03 PM
971 Views
Honestly, what % of readers do you think would notice this "problem"?
- 27/05/2014 04:28:25 PM
1102 Views
A high enough percentage that you felt the need to make this post. :p
- 27/05/2014 05:38:00 PM
904 Views
I would characterize myself as lowbrow with you, but that's one of the things I noticed
- 29/05/2014 12:13:18 AM
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Re: I would characterize myself as lowbrow with you, but that's one of the things I noticed
- 29/05/2014 08:35:15 PM
1008 Views
Wait, aren't Game of Thrones and A Song of Fire and Ice the same thing?
- 29/05/2014 09:18:31 PM
921 Views
GoT (without the "A" refers to the TV series, ASoIaF to the books *NM*
- 29/05/2014 09:38:28 PM
579 Views
refers to the TV series, ASoIaF to the books *NM*
- 29/05/2014 09:38:28 PM
579 Views
Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit?
- 26/05/2014 04:57:18 AM
1111 Views
Re: Fair enough, but do you mind me waiting just a little bit?
- 26/05/2014 09:10:31 PM
1046 Views
I really should read Irving, I see
- 27/05/2014 06:10:50 AM
972 Views
I've only read one book by him, but The World According to Garp, at least, is a great book. *NM*
- 27/05/2014 05:20:49 PM
405 Views
Promising opening paragraph, yes, but...
- 26/05/2014 10:55:16 PM
863 Views
I think those shifts are part of the character, not something unintentional
- 27/05/2014 06:08:44 AM
883 Views
*NM*
I proudly claim the title of literary snob, and will provide you with a quick, unscientific example.
- 26/05/2014 08:15:04 PM
984 Views
Huh. Lana Del Rey quotes Nabokov... I had not made that connection.
- 26/05/2014 11:17:47 PM
1084 Views
That quote from Lolita sounds like it is from a romance novel with Fabio on the cover.
- 27/05/2014 03:40:37 AM
893 Views
Alloy of Law was great *NM*
- 28/05/2014 08:16:26 PM
450 Views