A tattered notebook dating back almost 50 years gives a glimpse into the mischievous minds of romantic publishing house Mills & Boon's editors.
Compiled in the 1970s, the book contains their favourite sentences clipped from the unedited manuscripts of romantic novels.
Many are unintentional innuendos that tickled the editors at the time, though they might seem tame to the Fifty Shades of Grey generation. Others are just toe-curlingly bad.
To mark Valentine's Day, the University of Reading has given a peek into the so-called "Anthology of Artless Extracts", part of its Mills & Boon archive.
The A5 notebook contains such gems as:
He paused and then added more softly, 'Come on Elaine, it won't be the first time we have doubled up on a bicycle.' (Flora Kidd, Dangerous Pretence)
and
'My darling, help me grope back to your white ways,' he said, his voice hoarse with emotion.
'You won't have to grope. You got there last night...' (Louise Gerard, The Sultan's Slave)
and
Mrs White... heaved at something under the blankets and produced a pineapple. (Betty Neals, Pineapple Girl)
Judith Watts, a PhD researcher at the university and author of erotic fiction, says the notebook - and letters in the archive - reveal much about the relationship between writers, their readers and the publisher.
"They show the importance of women writers earning their living, the desire of the reader to get their next romantic fix, and the publisher's need to stay in business," she says.
"The authors were trying the reflect the times, but they were very limited about what they could say about sex and desire.
"A lot's been said about things stopping at the bedroom door. As some of these snippets show - they didn't. There was pre-marital sex and affairs, but it was all couched in innuendo and euphemism."
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx