"Booty seeking" really had me wincing. I don't object to taking liberties with word order for the sake of good rhythm or putting the right things in the most stressed places, but in these lines above it starts to look like a gimmick very fast. The passage at the beginning of your post strikes more of a chord, but really only because of the obvious links that you mentioned to Tolkien's established works and themes. Tolkien's rhyming poetry may have a tendency towards the tacky, but on occasion (the "Though here at journey's end I lie" poem) it does work, better I would say than what you quoted here. Perhaps this is no worse than most of his other poetry, but I see little reason to call it better; and I definitely don't agree (again, based on the very little you've quoted) that this seems more promising than the Lord of the Rings.

The Lord of the Rings, I'm sure you'll agree, should be judged on its own merits, not on those of the works influenced by it. Of course there are many valid criticisms of it that can be made, but it is well-written, a more original work than these Arthurian verses and certainly more notable. If these verses hadn't been written by a man who would later become famous with The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, I feel they would not have left any lasting impression on the literary world (they won't even as it is).