I'll start it off by quoting from the 2010 National Book Award-winning novel, Lord of Misrule, written by Jaimy Gordon:
Umm...umm...is it me, or did Gordon just attempt to describe in mostly chaste language a woman getting the Shocker?
Your turn, if you dare...
You're going to shut up, starting now. Do you hear me? Do you understand?
What do you want? she said very low.
I want you to capitulate.
All right. All right, she whispered.
And then she was falling, falling. But he didn't let her up. He pushed farther, and curved them, his fingers, hard against the wall of her. And his thumb found the other moist portal and curved around inside her to meet them, and hooked her.
She was spinning upwards. Her loosened jeans bound her knees together. One hand under her belly, he lifted her to himself. And then some small thing gave way and he pressed to her center. Somewhere he laughed at her, not unkindly. (p. 46)
What do you want? she said very low.
I want you to capitulate.
All right. All right, she whispered.
And then she was falling, falling. But he didn't let her up. He pushed farther, and curved them, his fingers, hard against the wall of her. And his thumb found the other moist portal and curved around inside her to meet them, and hooked her.
She was spinning upwards. Her loosened jeans bound her knees together. One hand under her belly, he lifted her to himself. And then some small thing gave way and he pressed to her center. Somewhere he laughed at her, not unkindly. (p. 46)
Umm...umm...is it me, or did Gordon just attempt to describe in mostly chaste language a woman getting the Shocker?
Your turn, if you dare...
Is this person losing their virginity? I can't imagine what other "small thing" is giving way. And why is the asshole moist? "The wall of her"? This whole thing is almost as perplexing as it is hilarious.
How about I declare this to be Bad Sex Quote Sunday and you supply some quotes, okay?
- 12/12/2010 01:52:12 PM
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Let me say from experience that this guy obviously never did what he's attempting to describe.
- 12/12/2010 03:13:14 PM
695 Views
Even worse, it's a woman who wrote that scene 
- 12/12/2010 03:17:57 PM
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- 12/12/2010 03:17:57 PM
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She might be intentionally attempting to get the "worst sex scene" award.
- 12/12/2010 11:26:01 PM
623 Views
"Socks are like sense. Lots of them about, but I never seem to get any."
- 12/12/2010 07:51:52 PM
693 Views
I honestly didn't realize this was sex until "moist portal". Even then, it was iffy.
- 12/12/2010 08:42:34 PM
904 Views
That is epic-bad.
- 13/12/2010 06:43:32 AM
656 Views
Re: How about I declare this to be Bad Sex Quote Sunday and you supply some quotes, okay?
- 19/12/2010 06:06:48 AM
592 Views