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Nah. It's completely overdone. Rebekah Send a noteboard - 02/07/2010 12:57:52 PM
Remove a word or two here and there. Then I would agree. It's taken too far, and that's what makes it a bad opening sentence.
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2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest Results Nebhead - 01/07/2010 10:01:06 AM 1668 Views
I love the Bulwer-Lytton. Rebekah - 01/07/2010 10:15:03 AM 771 Views
I'm really hoping I understood correctly and those sentences were written on purpose... *NM* Legolas - 01/07/2010 10:24:17 AM 402 Views
So they are. Rebekah - 01/07/2010 10:30:22 AM 661 Views
Bulwer-Lytton Camilla - 01/07/2010 12:42:17 PM 707 Views
That runner-up is genuinely awesome. It shouldn't be anywhere near a "bad fiction" competition. *NM* Tim - 01/07/2010 01:37:07 PM 366 Views
I agree. That is a superb bit of writing. *NM* snoopcester - 02/07/2010 12:27:58 PM 315 Views
Agreed. *NM* Camilla - 02/07/2010 12:34:06 PM 300 Views
Nah. It's completely overdone. Rebekah - 02/07/2010 12:57:52 PM 685 Views
How would you reword it? *NM* Tim - 02/07/2010 04:44:31 PM 325 Views
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