It's Friday - everyone deserves a laugh. Which WoT character do you hate the most? - Edit 1
Before modification by BlackAdder at 20/11/2009 04:15:05 PM
I ran into the following on an Amazon discussion. I was hysterical, reading through it. Especially Moiraine and Cadsuane parts.
Well done, ahelk, well done.
Well done, ahelk, well done.
ahelk says:
I agree what makes most of the female characters detestable is their personality.
Time to criticize and lampoon.
1. Egwene: She abandons Rand to become a wisdom, she abandons becoming a wisdom and Emond's Field to become and Aes Sedai, she temporarily abandons aes sedai for wise ones, she breaks her oath with the wise ones and finally decides to leave the wise ones to become Amyrilin. Later she manipulates Mat and the Band of the Red Hand.
A horrible case of superiority complex: In the EotW she insists that she leave with Rand, Perrin, Moraine, Mat, and Lan yet when the Trollocs give chase she blames Rand, despite hime begging her to stay, for getting here into the situation.
"Egwene: Rand al'Thor! Don't you just have a grand opinion of yourself! Just because everyone's trying to kill or use you, you think everyone's trying to kill or use you. Also, you are woolheaded and being a mule. And a mule-head. "
Moraine: Honestly I believe Moraine to be retarded, I'm not trying to bash her, but her actions all seem unnecessary and aside from helping Rand escape from Emond's Field, she hasn't been a very good adviser.
After Rand discovers he can channel and is in most need of advice, she completely ignores him.
Siuan: "Now we're getting somewhere. I've gutted me a tough fish. I've netted a silverpike."
Need I say more?
Elayne: I'm not really sure how Elayne is supposed to play into this series. All she's done is stick her nose in the air and ignore her countries succession till it was on the brink of civil war. Aside from a few useless terangreal, she hasn't really contributed much.
Elayne: This ride is so horrible for me. The Aes Sedai, Sea Folk, and Kinswomen are all glaring at each other. Add that to the fact that Rand al'Thor thinks he can GIVE me Caemlyn just because he killed a Forsaken, and no one suffers as much as I do!
Aviendha: I don't have much against her, she isn't terribly flawed and is actually a female character you can follow without developing a bitter hatred towards. One flaw, not with Aviendha but with the Aiel, is the ridiculous rules Rj decided to add, can't mention your mother-in-law without incurring toh...really?
Min: Aside from taking love to the extreme and acting dopey, she is a pretty good character.
Faile: Insanely jealous, but overall an acceptable character. I like how she bullies Perrin into bullying her.
Aes Sedai: I'm clumping the rest of the Aes Sedai together as they all seem to share the same aggravating persona: an overbearing sense of self-righteousness. They manipulate everyone to their own desires. I personally place most Aes Sedai on the same level as Darkfriends (I'm starting to sound like a Whiteclock). When you think about it, what gives Aes Sedai the right to rule; there is no evidence to suggest the One Power makes a capable leader or implants wisdom. All it seems to do is inflate heads.
Cadsune: Otherwise known as Moraine on steroids. She takes somewhat on an unorthodox method of advising Rand: she decides to advise him by completely ignoring him and asking other Aes Sedai to bring her tea.
Cadsuane: It was rude of you to get angry at me for walking in on you unannounced, then insulting you, then implying that I would harm you.
Rand: Of course. I should have said 'Thank you' for your veiled threats and unveiled insults.
Cadsuane: Rand al'Thor must be protected. He must heed my words of wisdom. He needs me.
Samitsu: What is your master plan to help him?
Cadsuane: I will ignore him and have people bring me tea.
Samitsu: Now, regarding young Master al'Thor-.
Cadsuane: Tea!
Berlaine: Overall I find Berlaine very likable and so do most of the characters in Randland except Egwene, Elayne, and Faile, but who cares what they think.
The Wise Ones: Once again I'm clumping this group together. Now this group helping to lead the Aiel makes sense. See the name WISE ONES not ONLY WOMEN WHO CAN CHANNEL. Although Randland seems to brand the Aiel as savages, their society seems to be the only pleasant and logical one (aside from the random insane custom, see mother-in-law). Plus, unlike the souless Aes Sedai, the wise ones seem to have a conscience and will make concessions and admit when they are at fault
Tuon: Aside from being insane, she is one of my favorite characters for being possible the most logical in the series. She has a clear goal and a duty to her people.
Egwene: Did I mention how much I hate her?
Men-----------
Mat: One of my favorite characters for his free spirited nature and hate of Elayne. He is one of the easiest characters to relate to and adheres to his code of honor.
Perrin: THe gentle giant. Not a very big Perrin fan but neither do I dislike him.
Rand: One can sympathize with Rand for the responsibility and fate that he possesses, but I do have a bone to pick with him. After obtaining Callandor, one of the strongest Sa' Angreal, he leaves it in the Heart of Stone. After Obtaining The Choden Kai, the strongest Sa'Angreal he walls them up for 4 books.
Finally, how can Rand not realize that Maizrim Taim is evil? He's only tried to kill him.
Really, his stupidity bugs me so much.
Bashere: There are reports of a huge Seanchan army with hundreds of damane advancing towards Illian. You command over a million soldiers, and hundreds of Asha'man.
Rand: I will take 5,000 soldiers and eight Asha'man.
Bashere: It should work. With your mediocre planning and surrounding yourself with those who hate you, once again, you should just barely avoid complete disaster.
Rand: I'm still alive.
Taim: Damn. I mean, good.
Rand: Some Asha'man tried to kill me.
Taim: Yes, Rochaid, Gedwyn, and Kisman. [Holds up map of Sun Palace, entitled 'Plan to Kill Rand a'Thor, by Mazrim Taim.' Uses a pointer.] According to this plan, I see that at exactly quarter to Third Hour, Rochaid, Gedwyn, and Kisman convened at your wing of the Sun Palace, called 'Point A' . They tried to kill you and failed, then used the escape route, which I have highlighted in red, to one of the main courtyards, labeled 'Point B'," to report to each other. Then they reported their failure to me here, in the Gardens, at 'Point C.' On the map, I drew myself extra large, and gave myself a flowing black cape, to emphasize my power.
Rand: Don't forget that Dashiva tried to kill me, also.
Taim: Dashiva? That's odd. He's a Forsaken. He should be much smarter than that.
Rand: I know. Well, back to your assassin factory.
Gawyn: Who cares.
Galad: Wonder what he'll do when he finds out Rand is his half-brother.
Ishmael/Mordin: For a main villain he doesn't do much.
Maizrim Taim: Really, you command the Ashaman, start doing something evil, or at least kill Egwene, anything.
Egwene: Why won't she die!
The quotes I used are not real quotes, they are some I found that parodied WOT.
Now I'm wondering if after Tarmon Gaidin, somehow Saidar gets tainted by the dark one's counter stroke. I believe that would make a great ending.
I agree what makes most of the female characters detestable is their personality.
Time to criticize and lampoon.
1. Egwene: She abandons Rand to become a wisdom, she abandons becoming a wisdom and Emond's Field to become and Aes Sedai, she temporarily abandons aes sedai for wise ones, she breaks her oath with the wise ones and finally decides to leave the wise ones to become Amyrilin. Later she manipulates Mat and the Band of the Red Hand.
A horrible case of superiority complex: In the EotW she insists that she leave with Rand, Perrin, Moraine, Mat, and Lan yet when the Trollocs give chase she blames Rand, despite hime begging her to stay, for getting here into the situation.
"Egwene: Rand al'Thor! Don't you just have a grand opinion of yourself! Just because everyone's trying to kill or use you, you think everyone's trying to kill or use you. Also, you are woolheaded and being a mule. And a mule-head. "
Moraine: Honestly I believe Moraine to be retarded, I'm not trying to bash her, but her actions all seem unnecessary and aside from helping Rand escape from Emond's Field, she hasn't been a very good adviser.
After Rand discovers he can channel and is in most need of advice, she completely ignores him.
Siuan: "Now we're getting somewhere. I've gutted me a tough fish. I've netted a silverpike."
Need I say more?
Elayne: I'm not really sure how Elayne is supposed to play into this series. All she's done is stick her nose in the air and ignore her countries succession till it was on the brink of civil war. Aside from a few useless terangreal, she hasn't really contributed much.
Elayne: This ride is so horrible for me. The Aes Sedai, Sea Folk, and Kinswomen are all glaring at each other. Add that to the fact that Rand al'Thor thinks he can GIVE me Caemlyn just because he killed a Forsaken, and no one suffers as much as I do!
Aviendha: I don't have much against her, she isn't terribly flawed and is actually a female character you can follow without developing a bitter hatred towards. One flaw, not with Aviendha but with the Aiel, is the ridiculous rules Rj decided to add, can't mention your mother-in-law without incurring toh...really?
Min: Aside from taking love to the extreme and acting dopey, she is a pretty good character.
Faile: Insanely jealous, but overall an acceptable character. I like how she bullies Perrin into bullying her.
Aes Sedai: I'm clumping the rest of the Aes Sedai together as they all seem to share the same aggravating persona: an overbearing sense of self-righteousness. They manipulate everyone to their own desires. I personally place most Aes Sedai on the same level as Darkfriends (I'm starting to sound like a Whiteclock). When you think about it, what gives Aes Sedai the right to rule; there is no evidence to suggest the One Power makes a capable leader or implants wisdom. All it seems to do is inflate heads.
Cadsune: Otherwise known as Moraine on steroids. She takes somewhat on an unorthodox method of advising Rand: she decides to advise him by completely ignoring him and asking other Aes Sedai to bring her tea.
Cadsuane: It was rude of you to get angry at me for walking in on you unannounced, then insulting you, then implying that I would harm you.
Rand: Of course. I should have said 'Thank you' for your veiled threats and unveiled insults.
Cadsuane: Rand al'Thor must be protected. He must heed my words of wisdom. He needs me.
Samitsu: What is your master plan to help him?
Cadsuane: I will ignore him and have people bring me tea.
Samitsu: Now, regarding young Master al'Thor-.
Cadsuane: Tea!
Berlaine: Overall I find Berlaine very likable and so do most of the characters in Randland except Egwene, Elayne, and Faile, but who cares what they think.
The Wise Ones: Once again I'm clumping this group together. Now this group helping to lead the Aiel makes sense. See the name WISE ONES not ONLY WOMEN WHO CAN CHANNEL. Although Randland seems to brand the Aiel as savages, their society seems to be the only pleasant and logical one (aside from the random insane custom, see mother-in-law). Plus, unlike the souless Aes Sedai, the wise ones seem to have a conscience and will make concessions and admit when they are at fault
Tuon: Aside from being insane, she is one of my favorite characters for being possible the most logical in the series. She has a clear goal and a duty to her people.
Egwene: Did I mention how much I hate her?
Men-----------
Mat: One of my favorite characters for his free spirited nature and hate of Elayne. He is one of the easiest characters to relate to and adheres to his code of honor.
Perrin: THe gentle giant. Not a very big Perrin fan but neither do I dislike him.
Rand: One can sympathize with Rand for the responsibility and fate that he possesses, but I do have a bone to pick with him. After obtaining Callandor, one of the strongest Sa' Angreal, he leaves it in the Heart of Stone. After Obtaining The Choden Kai, the strongest Sa'Angreal he walls them up for 4 books.
Finally, how can Rand not realize that Maizrim Taim is evil? He's only tried to kill him.
Really, his stupidity bugs me so much.
Bashere: There are reports of a huge Seanchan army with hundreds of damane advancing towards Illian. You command over a million soldiers, and hundreds of Asha'man.
Rand: I will take 5,000 soldiers and eight Asha'man.
Bashere: It should work. With your mediocre planning and surrounding yourself with those who hate you, once again, you should just barely avoid complete disaster.
Rand: I'm still alive.
Taim: Damn. I mean, good.
Rand: Some Asha'man tried to kill me.
Taim: Yes, Rochaid, Gedwyn, and Kisman. [Holds up map of Sun Palace, entitled 'Plan to Kill Rand a'Thor, by Mazrim Taim.' Uses a pointer.] According to this plan, I see that at exactly quarter to Third Hour, Rochaid, Gedwyn, and Kisman convened at your wing of the Sun Palace, called 'Point A' . They tried to kill you and failed, then used the escape route, which I have highlighted in red, to one of the main courtyards, labeled 'Point B'," to report to each other. Then they reported their failure to me here, in the Gardens, at 'Point C.' On the map, I drew myself extra large, and gave myself a flowing black cape, to emphasize my power.
Rand: Don't forget that Dashiva tried to kill me, also.
Taim: Dashiva? That's odd. He's a Forsaken. He should be much smarter than that.
Rand: I know. Well, back to your assassin factory.
Gawyn: Who cares.
Galad: Wonder what he'll do when he finds out Rand is his half-brother.
Ishmael/Mordin: For a main villain he doesn't do much.
Maizrim Taim: Really, you command the Ashaman, start doing something evil, or at least kill Egwene, anything.
Egwene: Why won't she die!
The quotes I used are not real quotes, they are some I found that parodied WOT.
Now I'm wondering if after Tarmon Gaidin, somehow Saidar gets tainted by the dark one's counter stroke. I believe that would make a great ending.