Regardless of his epiphany at the end of the book, Rand has distanced himself from his loved ones by alienating and lashing out at them.

Min is still traumatized. Rand can see the fear in her eyes.

Wait 'til Rand finds out he didn't Graendal with balefire. I am willing to bet that the fortress/palace in Natrin's Barrow housed Compulsion-free innocents with at least one darkfriend channeler with some skill in Compulsion. That's when Rand's emotions will burst into painful shards of guilt and self-loathing.

Graendal could have EASILY taught some of her signature Compulsion weaves to a lesser channeler to be used as bait.

Hell, maybe it was Moghedien! Either way, she is still alive.