Without getting into preferences and whatnot, I would just like to take issue with this characterization. This is not one of those moral judgments everyone seems to think are subjective, or a genuinely subjective character preference, like your simple like or dislike for a character. This is about a characteristic which would generally be considered to be marked by specific behaviors, none of which Elayne displays. She acts like she's in charge a lot, but so does Nynaeve, and as Nynaeve herself later admits, Elayne has reasons for that, but there is no evidence that her inculcated expectation of leadership or social superiority has "spoiled" her in the least. Spoiled people are not generally workaholics, or self-sacrificing, as she has been portrayed. Spoiled people tend not to be very skilled at simple domestic chores, as Elayne is. Remember that she did the sewing for the three of them when they traveled together, despite growing up with the ability to order a whole new dress, only more expensive, as an alternative to making alterations on an existing one. She turned their dresses into riding dresses, all by herself! She made one tube of cloth into two! That's not like mending a rip or patching a hole or reattaching a button. And she is also a better cook than Nynaeve. During the best-forgotten circus sojourn in tFoH, Nynaeve notes that Elayne's cooking draws a crowd, with the only critical comments about it coming from Elayne herself (which Nyaneve also believes are sincere self-criticism and not fishing for compliments) but when Nynaeve cooks, even the guy who is trying to get in her pants won't come over. The only person, in fact, who shows any willingness to stomach Nynaeve's cooking is the Spoiled Princess. Not the gleeman who supposedly is used to crappy inn fare and other unpleasant realities of pre-industrial travel. Not the peasant thief-catcher from the slums of Tear. Not the lecherous ringmaster who is later seen happily devouring his wife's own sub-par cooking. That's how bad Nynaeve cooks, but Elayne is the only one willing to eat it. Then there was their departure from Tar Valon in tDR, when Egwene wanted to spend their irreplaceable funds on the finest silk dresses, and Elayne is the one who proposes the compromise of a Brown's typical wool. Elayne had a cheaper threshold of acceptable luxury than the innkeeper's daughter. And that's another thing - her best friends are the daughters of a farmer, an innkeeper, a miner and barbarian savages who helped kill her father's family. Her love interest is a farmboy who, back when she fell for him, was notable for failing to show proper respect to high-ranking women.

The only issues where you might be able to point to her behavior as seeming spoiled is when she demonstrates her lack of understanding prices and values when she and Nynaeve discuss getting clothing to fit in on Toman Head, and that is simple ignorance, not rejection of poor-people clothing. There is also her supposed excessive spending habits, but that is an opinion only ever expressed by the delightfully hyperbolic and egocentric Nynaeve, who uses her own standards as a baseline. Anyone who is more free with money than Nyaneve is prodigal by her definition. Meanwhile, according to Elayne, Nynaeve is a tightfisted miser, and we (probably by design) never, ever see another character weigh in on this issue. It is simply an illustration of the contrast between the two of them, and given the sources, it might be that each is really an extreme example of spending habits, but it is just as likely that neither is nearly as extravagant or as thrifty as the other would have us believe. And when most of her excessive generosity tends to be in the form of charitable donations, I have a hard time claiming that Nynaeve is in the right if only one of them is.