Poontang – the Final Indignity
When all is said and done, when Gawyn has been used and abused so mercilessly by the object of his affection, and in spite of all of this, defended her from assassins regarding whose existence she herself dismissed his reports, nearly at the cost of his own life, she finally fulfills her promise and bonds him as a Warder and agrees to marry him. Yet, Egwene being Egwene, she still continues to set the tone for their relationship by finding one last way to screw him over (strictly figuratively speaking, which is the problem, if you know what I mean). She refuses to have sex with him (though by this point she might very well be the first woman in the entire series to do this under any circumstances) until they go through some meaningless farce of a wedding ceremony! Now as a general principle in real life, I do not personally disapprove of premarital abstinence in the least. On the other hand, Egwene and Gawyn don’t live in the real world, they live in the world of tWoT, where I cannot punch them. None of the reasons for premarital chastity apply to their circumstances. There is no religion, so that aspect does not apply to them. Regarding their customs, not only does the Two Rivers accept premarital sex (though it appears to be their own obscure revenge for the Breaking or something in that they don’t tell the men it’s okay), but Egwene has repeatedly and explicitly disavowed her obligations to Two Rivers practices, starting with the first book in the series, and even expressing her rationalizing for ignoring the particular practice as it applies to this specific case! As far as her prospective husband’s customs and traditions, there is no word one way or another on Andoran sexual mores, but judging by his female relatives, the specific practice of his family seems to be Trakands put out! Elayne’s holding out until the fourth date would appear to be more a result of her own personal inhibitions and innocence, than any real opposition to premarital relations, and Thom seems to have set her straight on that account as well, when they discuss her mother’s habits in tSR. So customs and practices of their homelands don’t apply, and certainly the Tower has no such restrictions. The only viable reason for withholding what some might argue would be his due, after defending her singlehandedly from the Bloodknives, would be the necessity for a commitment to a long-term relationship. Would Egwene (or her apologists in our community) REALLY try to make the ridiculous assertion that words spoke in the presence of a village pharmacist are more binding and more properly affirming lifetime commitment than a Warder bond? Real world religious scripture speaks of a man and woman becoming one flesh, but what is that compared to a bond that lets them feel one another’s emotions and physical sensations! Egwene is committed, she’s in the clear morally, and is by her own reckoning unbound by any tradition or social expectations. There is absolutely no reason to make Gawyn sleep in a separate bed, except her own contrary and malicious nature. And people expect me to trust in her friendship with Rand to induce her cooperation for Tarmon Gaidon?