New Spring
Coming Home

The higher she stands above you, the greater your deference. Failure in that is the third greatest rudeness, and third only by a hair. The most common reason for new sisters to be given penance is a misstep of that sort, and since the penance is set by the offended sister, it is seldom light. A month or two of Labor or Deprivation is the least you can expect. Mortification of the Spirit and Mortification of the Flesh are not unheard of."

Elayne has told Nynaeve that she would disobey her which a significantly weaker woman would never do according to the quote above

Winter’s Heart
A Plan Succeeds

But I would rather not disobey you, so don't, please.

While Elayne knows she should have some level of deference to Nynaeve, she is still willing to go directly against her wishes which is something others are not willing to consider when there is a significant gap in strength.

Siuan is meek as she can manage with even who are only somewhat stronger than her ...

The Path of Daggers
New Alliances

Siuan spent her days giving way to women who had jumped at her word a year earlier, smiling and curtsying for nearly every sister in the camp.

Siuan is bowing and scraping to even Middling Sisters...

A Crow of Swords
An Oath

Even Aeldene is [above Siuan] and she’s no more than middling.

But even still Siuan is still stronger than a good number of sisters in the camp so she can't be dramatically weaker than some of the average AS ... but deference is demanded...