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Outstanding, you really must grace us with creations wholly yours. Joel Send a noteboard - 11/01/2011 02:03:38 AM
My only quibble is that it was a little jarring to see Egwene use the word "okay" (I may simply be forgetting Jordan or Sandersons use of it, but it struck me as out of place; I humbly suggest replacing it with "alright", but that's only a suggestion). You wrote both naturally and well, and the result was true to the narrative, suspenseful and riveting. Some of the dramatic tension obviously comes from episodes we've long expected, but that's a mixed blessing; twenty years worth of expectations from millions of readers can be very hard to satisfy, as I'm sure Sanderson would agree. Your version of these events flowed far more credibly and evenly than his Tower of Ghenjei OR Jordans revelations in KoD of how that would unfold. That both of those scenes felt stilted and choppy but these did not speaks volumes about your writing ability. The prospect of Mats reunion with Tuon being preceded by the capture of Moiraine and Thom was completely unexpected, and all the more fascinating for that, yet as unexpected as it was it's perfectly logical within the context of their aid to Mat in retrieving the Horn, which is also reasonable against the Shadows attack on Caemlyn. Moiraine's so noble that even Mat will sacrifice an eye to save her (despite her being Aes Sedai) but Tuon puts a collar around her neck; he really is far too good for her.... :rolleyes:
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I wrote a Fan Fiction that takes place directly after ToM - 10/01/2011 12:59:00 AM 3407 Views
oops *NM* - 10/01/2011 12:59:29 AM 564 Views
Re: I wrote a Fan Fiction that takes place directly after ToM - 10/01/2011 04:46:13 AM 1111 Views
done. Thanks a lot *NM* - 10/01/2011 04:58:25 AM 508 Views
Isn't it nice when main characters actually talk to each other? *NM* - 10/01/2011 07:39:30 AM 583 Views
Yes, that was one of things I liked about ToM *NM* - 10/01/2011 01:35:22 PM 515 Views
Re: I wrote a Fan Fiction that takes place directly after ToM - 10/01/2011 11:01:21 AM 1115 Views
Agreed, reads much more like RJs style than BS's attempt *NM* - 10/01/2011 02:24:47 PM 459 Views
Re: I wrote a Fan Fiction that takes place directly after ToM - 10/01/2011 03:23:29 PM 1148 Views
I like fanfiction, and I liked your overall approach to the scene - 10/01/2011 04:31:00 PM 1127 Views
So YOU are the one at ff.net... - 11/01/2011 09:24:15 AM 1107 Views
Wow, I've never read good fan fiction before, but that was GREAT! - 10/01/2011 05:12:32 PM 905 Views
Will you write part 2? *drools* *NM* - 10/01/2011 07:18:02 PM 509 Views
Outstanding, you really must grace us with creations wholly yours. - 11/01/2011 02:03:38 AM 1041 Views
You want MORE people bugging you to continue writing?? - 11/01/2011 03:01:08 AM 1011 Views
very nicely done! The Lelaine bit was an especially nice touch - 11/01/2011 09:37:29 PM 1056 Views
This is very good! - 12/01/2011 07:00:14 AM 994 Views
He didn't go to her to deal with Caemlyn - 12/01/2011 03:09:16 PM 1043 Views
Ah, okay - 12/01/2011 07:47:59 PM 827 Views
I'm looking at it again - 13/01/2011 05:33:38 AM 919 Views
You mean Gaidal Cain come out of his larval form? - 13/01/2011 07:02:50 AM 860 Views
Very Nice! Let's hear some more... - 12/01/2011 07:07:16 AM 868 Views
Wow. I nearly forgot I was reading Fan Fiction! There is one thing, - 12/01/2011 07:56:15 PM 1004 Views
Or perhaps he slept with clothes? - 17/01/2011 01:45:35 PM 912 Views
Oh wow! - 13/01/2011 05:23:53 AM 870 Views
*NM* - 23/01/2011 06:28:42 AM 489 Views
Bumping one last time. *NM* - 17/01/2013 05:17:28 AM 395 Views

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