For the males, it seems like most of them actually were on target, or heading there, and their plans were abruptly disrupted by Rand.

Sammael seemed to have it in the bag, but Mashadar got him. Perhaps if he made it out of Shadar Logoth, maybe SH would have had his way with him?

As for Asmo, I wonder if RJ had thought of SH then. Or perhaps the Dark One was too bound, and the Seals needed to be weakened some more for the SH avatar to be born?

For Ishamael, I think interestingly enough, he has basically been the only one doing his job well. Sure, to us readers, and to Rand they're failure after failure, but Rand's acceptance of the Dragon role has a lot to do with Ishamael. Remember, chaos and confusion strengthens the DO. When Rand believed Ba'alzamon defeated, perhaps the Seals were further weakened.

I think Ishamael's first true failure was Rand's epiphany at Dragonmount.

Anyways, I see what you're saying. The idea of rape as punishment is archaic, and barbaric but that's why it's used.

The double standard does suck a lot. As a gay man IRL, I really wish we could some some Asha'man pillow biters, but I doubt that's going to happen