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Greetings Mhom. I am an official SLP employee and will attempt to address your concerns SLP Web Forum Liaison Send a noteboard - 19/05/2010 10:44:50 PM
Is there a lifetime commitment? How much money will this cost me, up-front? And, most importantly, might I be killed as a result of my membership activities?
Currently, membership can be cancelled at anytime, in exchange for becoming a Trolloc. As the sign-up fee simply entails of murdering your immediate family members, there is no up-front cost to join SLP. We are not liable for any loss of life you may incur, but we reserve the rights to your body and soul after your death.
More specifically, might I be killed by the people running this Programme? Like, in a fit of rage, or because I'm pretty and they want to sex me, or a vastly superior force bested me?
We all know that little thing like this can happen, but I cannot enjoy the benefits of membership if I am waiting for the Wheel to spin me out again...
SLP is a privately held limited liability corporation based in the Bahamas, and administered separately from the Shadow. SLP will not kill you, but we are not liable for any loss of life you may incur as a part of your daily activities.
I would also like to know if my mind or soul might be tampered with. As we all know, a healthy soul is a must in the 3rd Age. And the continued sanctity of my soul will see me through to other Ages and, possibly, other programs?
The Great Lord wishes to stop the Wheel from turning and thus end Time as we know it. Er, I mean, yes you will be able to enjoy your SLP benefits for eternity.
When I am doing my rotation as a Child of the Light, do I need to force myself on women and act like a jack-ass? I tend to have a friendlier disposition and enjoy seducing a damsel, if I may say so. I find both forms of behavior to be extremely repugnant to this simple kid from the slums of Caemlyn...
During your rotation, you are required to follow all by-laws of the CotL. This includes (but is not limited to) forcing yourself on women and acting like a jack-ass.
Finally, will I be expected to enroll members of my family in the Programme? What if they do not wish any solicitation of this sort? Will any harm come to them as a result of my membership?
As I mentioned previously, we do not accept enrollment of family members at this time. SLP, being based in the Bahamas, will not harm your family members, but we are not liable for any loss of life they may incur as a result of your daily activities.
As I said, I am very interested in this opportunity for power and profit. As a prominent gleeman, I have access to a great many people. They listen to me, and the dulcet tone of my voice may help find many new initiates for your fascinating proposition.
Please send letter by pigeon, follower, or dream to Mhom Terrilin, Elk and Six Foxes Public House, Baerlon, Andor. Do not use Myrdraal, please, as they scare away all my custom for hours. Also, their gaze makes me need to "clean my cloak," if you follow me.
Sincerely,
Mhom
Being an environmentally conscious and paperless organization, we will contact you by Dream.
P.S. - Will I need to conduct business with Myrdraal? Will there be a stipend for clothing repair and other necessary expenses? Can I deduct any of my expenses when the Queen sends the tax-man to collect her levies? And do you offer political asylum to members?
Yes, you will be assigned a personal Myrddraal concierge, who will take care of your (un)loved ones. Currently, there are no provisions for clothing, food, or shelter. You are on your own for that. Consult your local accountant for the latest updates to the Andoran tax code.
If you are a political refugee, we can arrange for an expedited Trolloc nauralization process, for a small handling fee.
Saine Tarasind
SLP Web Forum Liaison
This message last edited by SLP Web Forum Liaison on 19/05/2010 at 11:01:56 PM
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