Universal Studios The Wolfman is the latest attempt by the studio to inject new energy into the monster movie franchises that did them so well in the 1930s and 40s. The results over the years have been mixed to say the least, the most succesful re-imagining being The Mummy, whilst most others have suffered from a lack of direction and story, or in the case of 2004s Van Helsing style over substance as they attempted to re-launch the entire cast of monsters in one movie. The Wolfman though takes a different course, this time focusing on a singular character in an attempt to truly evoke the imagery and feeling of those 1930-40s classics. So does it work? Can Wolfman become the 1st truly good werewolf movie in many a year and topple An American Werewolf in London's long held crown? In a word - no.

Werewolf movies have been with us for almost 100 years now, and had quite the renaissance in 00s what with Ginger Snaps, Dog Soldiers, the Underworld series, New Moon and even Harry Potter getting in on the act to name but a few. The style has changed over the years, away from the shambling hairy man to far more sophisticated, brutal and in many cases intelligent interpretations. So I approached this return to the 40s feel and story with a mix of trepedation and interest. Little did I know I should have approached it with a shotgun to put it out of it's misery. For let us be clear from the start, this movie is an absolute travesty, a lame duck that causes suffering not only to itself but to any poor soul forced to watch it's 102minutes of dull, lifeless and quite frankly boring story. Where I ask myself did it all go wrong?

Looking at the cast really doesn't provide an answer, we have Benicio Del Toro as our leading man Lawrence Talbot, Sir Anthony Hopkins as his father, the always compelling to watch Hugo Weaving as Inspector Francis Aberline, and the lovely Emily Blunt as Gwen our buxom heroine. 3 of these actors have already proven they can already play the leading man, and one would assume they would have little difficulty in playing off each other to great effect, however one would be wrong.

Del Toro mumbles about the screen like a kicked dog, he has no charm, no charisma, his performance is dull, lifeless and flat, for most of the movie you could take a waxworks doll, stick a tape recorder around its neck and get much the same effect. Some may see this as the slow deterioration of the doomed man, I however see it as a bored actor who never got to grips with the role and clearly wanted to be elsewhere. And I wouldn't look to Hopkins to pull one out the hat here, accomplished he may be, but even he cant make anything of the drivel that counts for dialogue in this movie. Faced with the glaring realisation he had signed up for a stinker, he gives up and falls into auto-pilot, delivering his lines with a stunning lack of passion. As for Weaving, well he at least provides the one highlight...actually make that the one non-lowlight of the movie, that being spending the 1st hour imagining him as Agent Smith, as he delivers his lines like he's still in the Matrix. Hilarious, but not a great testamant to his ability, and when he decides to put Smith back in the box for the 2nd half he becomes largely irrelevant. Blunt may provide the men with some eye candy, but her lack of chemistry with Del Toro as the major love interest is painful, I mean just horribly painful to watch.

None of the actors it has to be said, in particular Del Toro and Blunts attempts to portray a love story, are helped by the complete lack of script. Talented they may all be, but you have to give them something, anything to get a hold off before they can deliver. Where to begin, well at the beginning, which is rushed, fractured, and laughable. Lawrence brother, also Gwen's fiance, has been missing for weeks, he turns up savaged and dead in a ditch, queue Lawrence turning up to console his father and Gwen and to investigate the mystery surrounding events. We then have a hilarious, in a really non-funny way, pub scene during which the locals discuss the killings, the mysterious events of 25 years ago and oh yes demon monsters (that'd be the werewolf). Flash back to the Talbot estate and Hopkins telling Del Toro to stay inside as it's a full moon and there may be crazies out, oh and Gwen has left for London. Cut to Del Toro searching out clues about his brothers death amongst the gypsies, a werewolf attack and Del Toro being bitten. Back to the estate, Gwen has turned around to care for the man she just met, Hopkins is being unsubtley mysterious, the villagers are crying havoc, and Del Toro looks suitably anguished. All in the 1st 20-25mins or so. The story goes on, but it's not worth talking about, it's a pathetic series of plot devices all designed to lead from one bland, old and stale set-piece to the next.

This movie is so riddled with holes, devices, bad dialogue, and unbelievable characters it's truly staggering. Not least our central love story, forget the fact that her fiance was just savaged and killed by a beast, forget the fact she wants to go back to London, forget the fact Del Toro looks like a pale dead fish for most of the movie, the sheer lack of any emotional involvement, believable sentiment, or even passion between the two would have damned any script, never mind this tawdry story.

Maybe the cinematography and direction can save us from the hideous beast The Wolfman is becoming? Well, i'm afraid it's no again. The problem with a movie full of plot devices and set pieces and a complete lack of story, is that there is no transition form one scene to the next, no continuation and subtle movement. Instead we get one jarring cut after another, scene, flash, lead up, scene, flash, lead up, scene...you get the picture. And when I say jarring, i mean jarring, from day to night to day in the space of minutes, inside, outside, inside. You know when you are in a nightclub, and the DJ makes a cockup of the mixing, and everyone winces? Yeah, welcome to the direction of this movie. As for the cinematography, you honestly wonder how they could make such a mess of filming the English countryside, but other than a couple of waterfall scenes, you hardly notice there is any English countryside.

The sound too is jarring and unstructured. From silence, to Lord of the Rings-esque metallic orchestra, to modern Gipsy violins all in a few heartbeats. Smooth it aint.

But hey, this is a monster movie, I mean it has a werewolf, what about the speical effects! Umm, there really aren't any. Apparently this movie cost between $125-150M and i'm honestly left wondering why. The wolfman is pathetic, a blend of CGI when changing and makeup when transformed, but it looks no better than Teenwolfs dad back in the 80s. Indeed it's amazing that the definitive werewolf and transformation still remains 1981s An American Werewolf in London, 30 years later and they've gotten worse. When our werewolf is running around killing people it does get quite gory, but in a laughable Monty Python Knight way rather than Saw, which i'm not sure is the intention. Even when we take a trip to 1900s London we are disappointed, there are none of the crisp yet dirty visuals of Sherlock Holmes here, no we get dark rooftops and a seriously awful CGI Tower Bridge instead.

Filming on this movie originally completed in 2008, but Universal delayed release to spend more time and money on effects, it was then scheduled for release in Nov 2009, before more delays pushed it back to 2010, the warning was there for all to see. It was not a case of making this movie great, it was a case of desperately trying to rescue it somehow, Universal plowed an extra $40-50M into this movie in an attempt to save it. They failed.

This movie then has no redeeming features. It is poorly written, poorly directed, the acting is nonexistant, the special effects are amateurish at best. The whole movie is boring, predictable, lifeless. It truly is a travesty, an exercise in how not to make a Hollywood movie laid down for all to see. At the end there was a moments silence before most of the theatre began laughing out loud, looking around to see if they'd been the butt of some unknown joke. Indeed I couldn't stop myself, I declared "That movie was fucking tragic" to be met with more gales of laughter. This is simply the worst movie I have seen in more years than I care to remember. Do yourself, do the film, do the world a favour and stay away. The sooner this tragic piece of filmaking is forgotten the better.