I stepped closer to the unconscious wooden body and raised my hand for a good solid smack across the well sanded cheek. If you have never tried slapping an uncannily well done representation of yourself, you may want to try. It was actually quite amusing, I realized, as I swung my hand down. I hesitated at the last moment, however, because a small droplet of water flung from the sea glistened as it rolled down my, er, the wooden me's cheek like a tear. The second time, though, I managed to go through with it. My hand landed heavily on the thing's face, and it resounded hollowly.
I waited.
Nothing.
As I raised my hand for another slap...

...It flinched and tried to defend itself!
...Someone...or thing...grabbed me from behind!
...I decided not to slap it!
...Other!